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| Well Friends :) It's time again for a sporadic post by yours truly! I always feel drawn towards my xanga when I'm homesick and sad. But I'm actually doing well right now with the life-Seattle-job-grownup thing. I'm working towards some goals in my work and I'm finally getting some recognition and encouragement from my bosses. My social life is alright - I'm getting to know the people in my community group and hanging out outside of church which is super. I've discovered a few new fun spots in the city on my free time :)
With work, it took months of trudging through in the dark not knowing where I stood to find out that I'm doing pretty well. But feeling successful at work doesn't bring me closer to home :( No matter how hard I work, no matter how many hours I put in, and no matter how much I achieve, I'll never earn more money or earn more time off. It is frustrating because I am at a point where I really just want to go home and visit my family. **insert crying little girl holding a teddy bear right here** I miss my mom and dad. My parents are at the beach with the rest of my family and I'm stuck here by myself with my sadly sick roommate (she is actually sick - pray for her). I miss summer. I enjoy my job and I'm passionate about it but I need a serious vacation. For serious real. I need a break. That's where I'll stop - I need to get my laundry and go to bed. TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!
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| Deep breath...three months at SL Start and nearly four in Seattle... what am I doing... things are still hard... when does it get better... is it just me... I feel like I am failing... whether I'm setting the bar too high... or I really am dropping the ball... I don't know... I can measure my failure.. but people tell me that I'm doing fine... wtf... I don't know what to do... I am just going to keep going...
someone once told me that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the true definition of insanity... yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm there... it is hard to pinpoint exactly which area of my life I'm talking about... because it is quite pervasive at this point... work, God, relationships, health, friendships... just keep me in your prayers :)
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| Oy! I'm pooped!!! I've worked about 50 hours this week and I'm so thankful it's Friday! I'm a little sad that because I'm on salary that I don't get overtime but that's not why I took the job. I love this job and it really makes me happy providing for and taking care of the kids.
Scheduling staff is the bane of my existence. I hate it. Next week is Spring Break and so the kids are home all the time. Not too big of a deal EXCEPT we have had a staffing crisis. In the past month, the three staff who work the 2-10PM shifts Wed, Thur, and Fri have all given their notice - all effective this week :) The company is also opening two more houses and so the HR Awesomeness is interviewing her heart out but I don't have anyone hired to fill those shifts. AHHHHH!!! This has been my headache this week in addition to the fact that I have spent days wrapped up in doctor's appointments, the corresponding paperwork and follow-up phone calls to parents, caseworkers and other supervisors, plus acting as staff filling open shifts. I don't want to do any more 12 hour days :( they make me sad on the inside. This week ended in a blaze of glory - a migraine. I still had a ton of work to finish but my body rejected the idea, overriding my will to get stuff done. So I left at 530PM. I am truly thankful for weekends. I never fully understood the value of the weekends.
One great thing about this week is that I joined a community group through Mars Hill. The people are super cool and I don't have to go to church alone anymore :) I am also invited to hang out with them on Saturday! I feel greatly encouraged :) Thanks God :)
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| Happy Easter!!!A Happy Easter to all and to all a gift you'll never want to return :) I love and hate Easter. I love it because of the gift God reminds us He gave to us. The gift of salvation via Jesus' sacrifice. A gift that we didn't ask for but desperately needed. I'll never be done thanking Him for it. I hate it because culturally it is no more than an excuse to gorge oneself on candy shaped like eggs and rabbits. It makes me sad because it is so much more than chocolate bunnies and peeps (although I really enjoy peeps). It is one of two times out of the year that people think about going to church. I wonder how many really know what Easter is commemorating.
Yesterday, I was meeting with my supervisor, the Executive Director, for training and meeting with my kids' Social Worker. She had been trying all week to fill a graveyard shift at one of the houses in Bellevue with no success. She was calling every staff available. She had a migraine and was resigning herself that she would have to staff the shift herself - making her workweek over 60 hours long. I impulsively offered to cover the shift. At first, she refused to let me because it was such an inconvenience for me but I insisted. I said that she couldn't do it herself because she was ill and I needed the experience with overnight shifts. Well, I signed up for it and traded her my Friday night for this Tuesday off.
I went to the Good Friday service at Mars Hill which was very powerful, solemn and contemplative. I spent much of the overnight shift turning over what Jesus did for us. It turned out to be a great time of reflection for me. Even though I was exhausted when I went home this morning, I was not defeated but refreshed. It was a weird feeling because as a student, after all-nighters I always felt drained and angry and worthless. I'm not saying that I'm going to make a habit of it but this overnight shift was not a bad choice for me.
The one negative thing about the graveyard shift is that I did sleep all day and so my schedule is a little off. I was supposed to go shopping with Rachel today. We did go see "The Other Boleyn Girl" but no shopping was had. I'm a bit tired so I'm going to run with it and try to sleep :) Take care friends and Happy Easter!
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| Irish
Blessings
May
you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know
where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’re going too
far.
May
your home always be too small to hold all of your friends.
May
you have food and raiment, a soft pillow for your head; may you be 40 years in
heaven before the devil knows your dead.
May
those who love us, love us. And those who don’t love us, may God turn
their hearts. And if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may He turn their
ankles so we may know them by their limping!
May
your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you,
the
angels protect you, and heaven accept you.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!! | | |
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