ok peeps. as you've noticed, i haven't been allowed out.
so, you should be aware, i won't be allowed out for a long time.
but you have been warned: after december is over, you'll be so sick of me asking to do things that you'll wish it were college apps season again. i'll be eighteen in february, and hopefully i'll have my permit and shtuff, so...PARENTS: DON'T EVEN TRY TO NAG ME THEN.

i am just so sick of people telling me i'm not careful enough. HELLO, i may have short term memory loss or something, but i am responsible.

for now, i'm very  sad. and stressed. and nervous. and worried. and the worst part is, i've done all that i can.

i just need to be a good writer for a few weeks. pretending doesn't help too much. sob.

don't mind me if i'm chronically grumpy.
tis my nature.

until then.

AAAAAHHHHHHH

SSSTTRRRREEESSSSSSS

my desire to get into brown is an obsession.
i must get in.
i'm not expecting to get an acception letter, but it's like...COLLEGE FROM HEAVEN.

after about a month of uber PMSing, no more! the past couple days have been really happy for me.

TOO MUCH INFO. LOL.

my confidence in english class hit rock bottom. again. i thought i would be better this year, but my english teacher indirectly told me that my college essay sucks and that i need to do it again. which i am. so i gotta write another essay and submit the darn thing on friday.

my my how life sucks.

apparently i'm interesting. better than boring.

i need to be careful when it's "that time of the month."  i get extra cynical and extra mean and then i gotta apologize for my rude behavior and dammit it's the hormones i tell u!!!

stupid hormones.

so english class is my adversity again this year. even if i get a B in calc, it's no surprise, but I MUST GET AN A THIS YEAR IN ENGLISH. i have tried TOO HARD to give up now.

as much as the college apps stress sucks, senior year is much better for me. no science, no new material from math, i can do art hardcore, people are taking me much more seriously, i'm comfortable with myself as i have never been, and i get to leave home soon.

bad things:  major skin problems. i didn't know acne could frikkin hurt! i mean, MY GOD. ouch. also, internet addiction. also, college stress. also, i'm really worried about my prom date. for now, i'll just say edward cullen. MUAHAHA.

no i'm not hyper. just happy for no good reason. none at all, actually.

u know what? i was never comfortable with being a kid. i much prefer being older. hm.
and you know what else? i'm smart.

aja aja fighting.

dudes. why is school so boring? i'm not saying it's worse than last year, bc i don't think anything could be worse than junior year, but it's so odd not getting a million assignments.

i guess i'm happy. how strange!

cabinet is so much fun.
didn't know what to think about it first, but i guess i can only do my best and work with what i've got.
altho, i am not happy that there are 40 senior homerooms. oh poop.

wind ensemble. hm. WHYYY??? shoot me. not really, maybe just smack me. lightly on the head.

i was in the weirdest car ride today. so weird. it was me, jimmy, karl, karl's mother, and jason yoon.

OH MY. i swear they were on a sugar high.

sigh. it was hard keeping up with their talking. they were going like a billion miles per minute!!

it's weird not hating North Penn.

hm.

i hate being a creeper magnet.
i hate greasy guys.
i hate egotistical guys.
i hate guys who think they're really smart.
i hate guys WHO THINK THEY'RE COOL AND RANDOMLY HUG PEOPLE WITHOUT ANY WARNING WHATSOEVER!!!!!

...i dare him to approach me again...
next time, i will mouth him off.
you'd think that my death stares would be enough.
you'd think that my completely ignoring him would be enough.
you'd think that my shoving him in the stomach with my thumbs (i wanted as little contact as possible) would send a signal.

oh my Lord. please deliver me from creeper hell.

it's raining.