| I feel like my life is so much different than it was a year ago. One of the biggest things that reminded me of this are my present friendships. My friends are great, I love them and am so thankful for them but the truth of the matter is we are so completely different in every way possible. We didn't become friends because we have things in common but because we were all looking for friends, friends who are followers of Christ. I was confronted by one of these friends today because I said something that really offended him. We butt heads because he talks smack and I challenge him. It's hard because the main problem here is that we are misinterpreting each other. That makes for bad communication. That makes for more problems. The truth is that last year my friendships were so easy. We were friends because we were all similar and went to the same college. Our friendship was convenient. I love those friends, I wouldn't trade anything for my experiences with them, but after that kind of friendship for 4 years it's hard to start having the kind of friendships I have now. We are building a community, one that wasn't already there unlike college where it's already established. Many of us are people who have left communities like college, the military and such to be thrown into the real world where community doesn't naturally exist. We have the same goals in the whole scheme of things, but understanding each other gets tricky. The fact of the matter is that no matter how hard it gets I won't give up on these friends. These friendships exist for a reason, one that I believe is not by chance or convience. It's hard, it's work and I know that but in this time and place my community will be a little bit trickier. God is moving, working, changing me, changing others, building a bigger purpose in us all. I have started seeing the world in a new way. It's not a place for me to fit in or to strive to have the life I'm supposed to have- get a good job, a nice husband, a wonderful family. This is my one chance to serve God with all I have and with my whole self. He wants me to do His work, and if it involves a good job, a nice husband, and a wonderful family that's great, but I don't think it always works that way. For now at least my purpose is completely different. The Spirit is real and moving and people are being put in my path here and there and I know God is moving in my life. He is constantly giving me chances to grow, new opportunities, new people and places. Right now I'm in this one. I am going to strive to be a part of this community and to grow with God and these people and to bring others in. In a month it will be completely different. I will be in a completely unfamiliar place with a goal I'm not even completely sure of. I know God sees things so much bigger than me. I love His mystery, and I love the funny ways He works. Like when He gives you friends when you ask for them, but they're nothing that you would expect or even pick for yourself in a million years. I am so excited for what is to come next year, next month, next week and even this weekend when I get to visit my old community that is dispersing. I am excited, nervous, intrigued at what my life will hold. Dang, I'm even excited about what tomorrow will be because I don't even know. This is an interesting world God placed us in, and this is my chance to do what He wills for me. I can't even explain how that makes me feel. Right now I have friendship on my mind. I love friendship. What a beautiful thing the Lord has given us. To those that have been mine for longer I will see some of you Friday and I can't wait. Lord, build communities, strengthen friendships, and bring people together for a bigger purpose than just discussing what they have in common. Build a strong foundation on earth among us. Don't let anyone be without a community. I love you, Lord. Create beautiful communities with the goal of serving You. Amen. |
