Love, pulled me up off my knees,
Took all my disease,
You’ve always been there for me.

Love put shoes on my feet,
Took a song made it sweet,
You always had ears for me.

You’ve given me everything,
Love of my life
Forever I’ll sing that

Love is a Miracle oh, oh,
Love is a Miracle,
Your mercy catches me when I fall,
Love is such a miracle.

Love is where you abide,
It sees every side,
It crosses the great divide.

Love took hold of my hand
And taught me to walk
It’s time now to make a stand.

what can I do but take a xanga break? haha alwayss does anyone still read this? Cho, are you still my only faithful reader? haha


dude, my neighbors are so disruptive.. I think they're drunk. They keep cursing and gagging and dropping things off their balcony -__-. Lord, please protect my apt!

aniways.. I need to get some serious rest after this post..

but I just wanted to say, damn! He's changing me. haha

I browse around facebook and I see all my old elementary friends, church friends, youth and high school friends, even some early college friends, teachers, acquaintances and etc.. it's always interesting to me to see how everyone turns out.. I can't even imagine what it'll be like when my peers start getting married ! but it's always exciting to see how people are changing.. hopefully for the better.

but then I look at myself..  really sometimes parts of me want out.[smn u can hit me with the prickly pillow] I see the cost now and I get scared. Lord, I don't want to be alone.. I dont want to be persecuted.. I want the luxury of having the world.. of being liked.. to fully understand your heart.. is a scary thought. I always say "i wanna go deep" but I'm afraid I won't be able to follow through..

times like these I really feel so unworthy of being your disciple.. why do you still choose to love and have mercy..

but I'll press on .. mon - friday.. I'll press on..


______________________this song has been on my heart for some time now.. enjoy

I will waste my life
I'll be tested and tried
With no regrets inside of me
Just to find I'm at Your feet
(Repeat)
   I'll leave my father's house and   I'll leave my mother
   I'll leave all I have known and    I'll have no other
(Repeat)

Chorus:                       
   I am in love with You there is no cost
   I am in love with You there is no loss
   I am in love with You I want to take Your name
   I am in love with You, I want to cling to You     Jesus
Just let me cling to You Jesus

Bridge:
  I'll say goodbye to my father my mother   
  I'll turn my back on every other lover and
I'll press on yes I'll press on






PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKY 35!! 
omg I'm so sad your birthday is on 
the day of my finals.. 
BAH I shall make it up to you.. only because I want to! 

In a week from today I'll no longer be a teenager. -__- Twenty's such an odd age.. you're semi considered an adult, but not legally. I guess they decided to give you one whole year to cope with the transition. Today in my psych class we learned that one of the most critical crisis a person goes through in life is not the mid-life crisis.. but its this 'identity' crisis .. that occurs from late 18 - 30's. The transition from leaving your childhood or adolescent to becoming an adult. And as I look at my peers I see how true this is.. all I see is confusion, and it makes me sad.. that this generation doesn't know their identity. And I'll be the first the admit I had many 'identity crisis' haha always asking questions like "who am I?".. or "what defines me" "how do people perceive me?" "how much of me is actually me, and not what people influenced me to be?" "what will I pursue in life?" and the list goes on.. your career, your friends, relationships.. etc. I'm so glad Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow because really.. tomorrow has enough trouble as is.. and I learned / realized that really.. who cares. Why care so much about MY destiny.. MY goals, MY identity.. when really it was never about me.. or you. Its always been about God.. and what HE'S doing.. in my life, in his people, in the nations. My identity comes from my Father, who called me his daughter. And my life goal is to decrease, and let Jesus increase.. and everythign else will follow.. love, healing, intimacy..

It sucks how sometimes people just seem to 'grow up too fast' .. how some family situations 'force' you to grow up and fend for yourself.. 'be independent.. take responsibility.. ' and for me I always thought this.. 'well if my parents won't do it.. I guess I have to... if my sister won't do it.. I guess I have to do it..' and I feel like I just fastforwarded from child to 'adult'. There was no one year grace period.. Parts of me always said, 'eumi you're not a kid anymore.. so put your childish ways away and grow up'.. but I realize that I never really grew up. I just pretended to be grown up. It's funny becuase just a couple of Sundays ago I told my dad 'Dad.. this month I'm turning twenty..  I grew up a lot huh? .. but dad I'm still your baby!" That even though I was 'grown up' to my daddy.. I will always be his baby.. And I realized that growing up is exactly that.. "GROWING UP" .. as in the process.. theres no skipping ahead. And that the key.. is [kind of ironic] to remain like a child.  not A child.. but like a child. Yes, we need to put childways ways behind..[naevity, immaturity] but not the childlike faith. "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". And I always wondered, why God? why the little children.. and then I remembered when I was kid.. I used to just sit in the parking lot at church, stare straight into the sky and just talk with God. And I didn't need no crazy revelation to know my heavenly father was listening and delighting in me.. I just trusted. I didn't dwell on how many issues I had.. how imperfect I am.. I didn't even know back then! I just enjoyed God's presence.. and there was grace for that. And I know that there is grace over the growing process.. and for that I'm so grateful.  though I might make mistakes here and there.. I can trust that God will take me where I need to be.

the second thing about being like a child is humility. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." The more I become like a child.. the more I can trust God with anything! My career, my family, finace.. everything. I used to always want to be someone great and important in the kingdom.. [i mean thats not bad] but I knew that my real motive was to make a name for myself.. that I wanted to be great.. build up my kingdom. but the more I change to become like a child.. I can honestly say, "God, I'm just the piece of clay! Who am I to tell you to make me into something for noble or common purposes?" .. I used to complain "God why did you make me this way?" but now.. I don't care if I'm made for common use, as long as I'm being used I'm happy .

and it's funny how as I come as a child.. its then God can release me to be whoever he wants me to be.. "a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter" when I come as a child, He gives me the boldness. when I come as a child, he gives me the words.. and etc.

And the last thing I realized today.. is that as God shapes me into whatever for his purpose.. I just want to be functional! If there's one crack in a piece of glass.. the integrity of the glass is ruined. And right now I just feel like God is filling in all those cracks so I can retain and overflow.. I'm being made whole!
I look around and the people I respect the most are not the ones always on the stage preaching.. not the crazy prophetic people,  not the people who can cast out demons and perform signs and wonders.. though all these things are great.. but really I admire people who have character, who are humble.. [standing right before God] because Jesus had character! and I realized this is who I want to be. I want to be a person with character. I don't care if I'm made into a mug as long as I don't have any cracks. And even as a mug I will live a fulfilling life for sure.. because a craftsman is proud of every piece no matter how big or small.




So Daddy, I'm still your baby =]


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" Romans 15:13

		http://www.mp3lyrics.org/JRs
I hear the words of the prophet I love to sing with the angels I love to hear children praying I love to see weak made strong But most of all I love to hear the voice of God I hear the prayers of the pray-ers I hear the songs in the silence I see the joy of the dancers And all the healing they bring But most of all I love to hear the voice of God We'll call on the name of the Lord For He is the one who can save He is the giver of life to the world We'll hunger and thirst for your word For here we will meet you Lord The voice of the living God, Jesus Christ We long to see heaven open And see Your glory come down We long to hear words eternal Forever changing our hearts And if You'd come we'd love to hear the voice of God Oh will You come, we long to hear Your voice, oh God

*edit OK i've been browsing around trying to find a template that wasnt too 'jung shin up suh' [or crazy] and I'm still not really satisfied with this one, but it'll do for now.




Eagle Rider - Delirious?

I feel the spirits breath moving down my neck
Closer than a summers day
You're a lion on my back
I hear the spirit speak whispering my name
Gentle as a butterfly
In a violent hurricane

I feel the spirits breath free me from the net
Flying from captivity
And the life I called a wreck
I hear the spirit speak a voice behind my eyes
It's time for a brand new song to sing
Now I'm saying my goodbyes

I'm an eagle rider flying on your wings
And you take me higher to your beauty I will cling
I'm an eagle rider when I fly above the winds
And I'm climbing higher, so much higher than I've been

I see the world below spinning in the breeze
The giants seem much smaller here
Now I'm living in my dreams
I love the spirits voice it's teaching me to fly
It's time for a rediscovery
As I fall into the sky

I'm Going up, not coming down, I'm Going up, not coming down.
Hello, hello, goodbye