LAKERS!!!!!

GO LAKEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Priceline

Working

In addition to becoming reattached this year, I also switched jobs. I went from being a Finance and Accounting Consultant to a Regulatory Reporting & Analysis Consultant. Now they may sound like the same job because of the “Consultant” title, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The only thing they have in common is that they are the most exciting careers a person can ever have. And if you don’t grasp the concept of sarcasm, then please get back on the short bus – your driver is waiting. Anyway, I left my previous job because management was horrible. I couldn’t recommend working at that company with a straight face. If you like working for a two-faced, self-serving, short-sighted, narrow-minded, useless jackass AND you borrowed money from me but never paid me back, then I might recommend you for a position. The only upside to the company when I left was the nice pay structure. Plus, I met some great friends/colleagues there. It was a good little operation when I first joined, but then things changed and management showed their true colors. That’s pretty much when people started leaving in droves. They took away all the things that made the company cool and deceived the employees under the guise of “change”. It was more like poor leadership. No one I know who’s left the firm feels any regret. Nor would any of them endorse the company.

Now I’m at a new place. The nature of the work itself is okay. Not the most exciting thing to do. But the people have been great so far, and my boss is like a father or uncle. I put in my hours during quarter and year end, but I have some down time, too. Hence I am currently writing this entry from the comfort of my desk. The folks in my group have 20, 24, and 43 years of seniority here at the company. That says a lot for the type of culture the firm has. Although I can see myself here long term, my ultimate goal is to be self-employed. Partly because I want to be my own boss, but just as importantly (if not more so), I hate having to f*cking wake up in the morning. Dude – I am not a morning person. I have never woken up for work without hitting the snooze button multiple times. Snooze button inventor – you are a genius! Every time I wake up, I don’t contemplate calling in sick or taking a vacation day. Nope, I contemplate quitting my job altogether. That’s how much I hate waking up in the mornings.

Having some down time at work is a good thing. But too much of it and you start to get restless, especially if your back and computer monitor are facing the entrance of the cubicle. Then you’re screwed. You don’t know when someone is coming up behind you as you’re perusing through xanga or myspace. All I have to say is you better clean out your ears and be quick with the Alt-Tab. One of those rear-view mirrors you place on your monitor would be helpful too. Some of you guys know what I’m talking about. Don’t lie. In fact, I bet a few of you are looking at your rear-view mirror right now with your fingers on the Alt-Tab buttons.

Did you ever have one of those work days that is so slow that you look forward to going to the crapper? And you want to bring something with you to read while you’re there contemplating the history of the universe. But then you don’t want to stick a folded newspaper under your arm because then everyone will know where you’re heading and you have to make the walk of shame down the hallway while the hot girl snickers at you. Sure, everyone has to go number 2, but they don’t need the visual of their coworker doing it. That’s why I try to be discreet and print out articles from the internet and fold the pages to put in my pocket. This way, no one will be the wiser. My current reading comprises of Aaron Karo Ruminations. A word of advice, don’t print out too many pages to take with you. First of all, you shouldn’t be reading 20 pages while sitting on the toilet. Spending that much time sitting down is bad for you and will give you hemorrhoids. Not sexy. Secondly, have you tried folding twenty pages and putting that bad boy in your pocket? Imagine walking by and people seeing a huge square bulge in your front pants pocket. They would be like “What the f*ck?” Believe me, they won’t be thinking you’re excited to see them. And if you put it in your back pocket, they’ll probably be calling out “Hey Costanza!” as you pass by. Trust me, I won’t be doing that… Again… Three times was enough.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get some papers off the printer.

Clubs

The year is drawing to a close and I’ve finally motivated my lazy ass to post something onto xanga in who-knows-how-long… well, since 9/14/07 if anyone was sharp enough to refer to the previous entry date. What an extremely hectic year it’s been. There have been some very good things that happened and some very bad things. I won’t elaborate too much on one of the very bad things since it was very embarrassing and pretty shameful. I think only one person who reads xanga knows what I’m talking about, and let’s keep it that way. Let’s just say that it definitely provided me with a wake up call and has changed my life, probably for the better in the long run. But in the short term, it sucks monkey balls. My life has surely been affected and you learn to appreciate things you’ve always taken for granted. Yeah yeah, it could have been worse, but it’s already pretty shitty as is. Anyway, I would have to say that was certainly the low point of the year.

Now on to some of the better things. In the past 12 months, I went from being unattached to being reattached. I wouldn’t say that I’m a serial monogamist, but it does make life easier. I have no “game” so I’m not the type to go out to clubs and try to pick up anything walking erect and with the requisite body parts. You know the type – those guys who approach girls at the bar while they’re getting drinks, or the ones who try to work their way into the girl-circle on the dance floor. Those fellahs who are considered attractive are most likely players who have one thing in mind and that is scoring – now there’s a keeper. As for the guys who fall into the “unattractive” category that try to hit on girls at the clubs – I have to give them some props for having the balls to step up to the plate. Odds are they’ll be shot down quicker than if they were Dick Cheney’s hunting partner. But hell, at least they have the guts to try, which is more than I can say for myself, so I can’t rag on them too much. All I can do is point and laugh as they get rejected. I’m not saying these “undesirables” won’t get lucky at the clubs. They just have to be patient and go for the weak one in the herd. It’s the questionable girl who’s passed out on the couch, abandoned by her hotter, more sober friends. Or, it’s the girl who’s vomiting into the potted plant in the corner, too f*cked up to see straight. If he can get to her before the bouncer does, then he has a chance. Good luck, young Skywalker – may the Force be with you. And for you girls who have morning-after-regret for sleeping with an ewok, I can’t say I sympathy for you. If you were too wasted to realize you were hooking up with Big Foot’s shorter, hairier cousin, then sucks to be you. The same goes for those fellahs who wake up the next morning holding one of the 3 ugly Déjà Vu girls in your arms. Drunkenness and horniness can be a lethal combination. And if you have friends who are bastards and armed with cameras, then that adds up to a lifetime of shame and blackmail.

Aside from the players and uglies, there are the rest of us – the good guys. We’re not stunningly handsome, yet also not freakishly repulsive. We occupy most of the bandwidth at the clubs. We have little or no “game” but would like to hook up with a relatively attractive girl. We would probably have a decent chance of getting lucky if we weren’t such shy guys (i.e. pussies). We don’t give off that player or pervy vibe so we are fairly safe to talk to, if we actually tried to approach a girl. We’re good guys who have good jobs and a good head on our shoulders. We just hate to hear the word “no”. More often than not, we go home with the same group of people we arrived with. Nevertheless, we almost always have fun because we’re out with our friends, and we don’t feel the sting of rejection. And let me apologize in advance if one of us, in our inebriated state, grabs your ass while walking upstairs behind you at the club. Please don’t punch us in the forehead while wearing that jagged ring on your middle finger… again. Sure, hooking up with a girl would be awesome, like winning the lottery, but for the most part, it would just be icing on the cake.

Hmmm… not sure how the hell I got into this whole topic about clubbing. Anyways, like I said, I am reattached now. Things are going well with the gf. Maybe I’ll go into the story of how it all happened at a later date. But not right now. I have to go help a buddy with that ring shaped scar on his forehead.

Gen Y-ers

Here's an interesting article regarding the new workplace and you Gen Y kids... us Gen X fogies didn't have it so nice...

The Best Places to Launch a Career