Sitting here in bed, thinking about how to start writing, finally getting out the computer to start penning my thoughts, then it just fades away; so I am sitting here staring at a blank screen with absolutely nothing interesting to say.
I drove to North Carolina today.I haven’t been up here in at least 2 years.It was always, “I have to work” or “I can’t take time off this time, maybe next time”.I spent two years wasting time at work.Now my grandfather has cancer.My grandmother has had a couple knee surgeries. Time is fleeting.They aren’t giving up by any means; they are just more fragile than before…than I remember.
It scares me, getting older.I know I am a long way off; I am just starting my life.I am moving to the city.I am getting in the thick of things; but getting older scares me.How long will I be able to keep up the pace? Am I going to go and go and go and miss out on life? Is this life?
I have this plan…how I want things to go: get a corporate job, join a few interest groups – church, Young Professionals, etc., meet the guy, get married, have children; you know, the cycle of life.Will I miss out on things trying to fit my life into my plan?
Older
Having a puppy makes life happier.Sometimes they get on your nerves, to the point where you want to pick him up and shake your finger at him knowing he doesn’t understand you.Hoping your imposing stature is enough for him to realize that that is a bad thing.But for the most part, he makes me happy.He makes me feel less alone.I don’t need a man, I have a puppy.
The night he found me, I was walking Dto Dto.(Dto Dto was a purebred sheltie that the Korean owners of the company I worked for had raised as a puppy.Well, I guess you could say they raised him, the kept him on puppy training pads, didn’t get him enough exercise, and for the most part he was a garage dog.They gave him to me when they realized he had a better life with me.Thing is, I couldn’t give him a life, so I had to release him to a rescue.Now, he is with a good home.)Anyway, Mojo came running up to me and rolled over on his back.I was able to catch him to try to find some identifying tag – nothing - lots of posts and lots of waiting until I realized Mojo wasn’t going to be found.About three weeks after that night, Mojo became mine.My roommate and I named him.I made a vet appointment and the little scamp became my best friend. Now he is lying on my bed, staring at the door of the room we are occupying in my grandparents house, ears perked.I wonder what he is thinking.
Old
Sometimes, life makes you cry.“Walking in Memphis” by Marc Cohen is playing through my iTunes.This is one song Nicholas and I can agree on.Then it makes me think of my brother.He is so lucky and he doesn’t even know it. But that isn’t what makes me cry. What makes me cry is the fact he could have done so well for himself, but he chose to drift.He is on the right track, but how long will it last? How long will his health last? So sad that that song makes me think; consequently makes me cry.
New
Growing up is more fun that growing old.
I agree.There is a certain amount of adventure when people say they are growing up.It means they are exploring and learning new things.Growing old means they are getting physically more decrepit.
I am moving out of my parent’s house for the second time in my life.This time around was more difficult.I guess it would be, considering I had been on my own for seven years before moving back in for the four months I did.Those were the hardest four months of my life.Why? Because I didn’t know what to expect or how to act any more.However, this time around is more exciting because I know what I was missing while I was there.
Newer
I woke up early today.Went running.It felt good.Reading all these entries about size makes me realize, while I don’t look BAD, I definitely don’t look good. One of the things I want to do is go to one of those expensive Atlanta New Year Parties. I have the dress for it.It is just about 1 and ½ sizes too small. So, I have one month to lose the weight. I can do it, it just takes determination.AND NO ALCOHOL! (That’s right, I am even giving up my one glass of wine every so often with my dad!)
Newest
I dont have anything to wear, but I need to get rid of clothes. How's that for a non-sensical statement this morning?
How about yes I am adding stuff, just so this entry can make sense? I am sure you all gathered that by now. Have a good day!
I should be doing laundry right now. Mom and Alex are going out of town, I only have one more week left at home before I am out – free, if you will – so I feel as if I am obligated to pitch in even more now than before. I am not really sure where this feeling comes from.I believe it’s something my mom is able to instill in all her children (well, those that have a conscience, we can get into that later if you really want to know). Alex says the same thing; although he is 18 so he is still trying to rebel against the feeling instead of just submit and make things easier.
So, I should be doing laundry right now instead of typing a blog.It’s not that I don’t want to do laundry or help her around the house, I am sure if I were to go do that right now it may ease some of the anxiety that is filling up the house right now…and we have a big house! I think she is thinking about all the things that need to get done and having a mini panic attack. I don’t go to church until 11:00am so I have time, it doesn’t take long to fold a load of laundry….multiply it by the three loads I think that need to be done, I’ll get it done before I go to church. I think.If I don’t, how will she know, she will be gone and out of town. But then we come back to should I do it just to ease her anxiety?
My friend says that I am “such a good daughter” for superficially caring about my parents. (btw, superficially caring is my terminology, not my friend’s.) I am 25, I should be living on my own and doing what I want to do. It’s not like I am going to get anything back from doing their laundry or coming in at a reasonable hour when I go out instead of staying out with my friends. I am living in their house, so I guess I should abide by their rules, right? I am not the only person that feels that way, am I? I realize I am 25, but since I am staying in their house – granted paying them to stay in their house which is ok because I am using their electricity to type this blog and to use my computer – I should do what they ask me to do and set a good example for my brother right? I am not being too much of a pushover am I?
Now that you have had a glimpse of what goes on in my head on a daily basis you can commit me to the funny farm now.
I wish I had time these days to relax and enjoy my morning. It isn’t that I don’t have time; it’s that I don’t make time. (That is something I am about to change.)
This post is about Sunday morning coffee. I wake up about the same time every day, including weekends (when I don’t have to work). So that means on Saturday and Sunday I am able to enjoy a little bit of my morning. Saturday, I’ll wake up, but roll right over and go back to sleep…or watch tv…or read a little more of my book. Sunday, I have approximately 3 hours before I leave my house for church.Sunday, I have places to be.So, Sunday I’ll fix myself coffee and enjoy the morning a bit before scrambling to get everything in order before I leave for the rest of the morning.
Since I am the only one that drinks coffee, I measure about 6 cups.If I have to throw some away that is alright because if I make any less than that, it turns out yucky for some reason. Six cups and seven big scoops of coffee; press “brew”.
While the coffee is brewing, I’ll heat up the milk. I typically use 2% milk for everything, so for me, I heat up a cup of 2% milk. Sweeten the milk however you choose before putting it in the microwave. I use sweet-n-low, because that is what I am partial too. When it’s hot, I will either take a fork to whisk the milk or I’ll pour it in a sealed container and shake it to mix some air in with my milk.
Pour the sweetened frothy milk 1/3 of the mug, try to keep the frothy part and only pour the liquid. Then pour coffee in the mug up to 2/3 full, then pour the rest of the milk. Enjoy!
That is my Sunday Morning Coffee…usually enjoyed wrapped in a blanket out on the porch with my little puppy curled up underneath the blanket ticked off that I am actually up.
**edit**
“That’s not a dress; that’s an Audrey Hepburn movie” – if any guy wants to compliment a woman that is what you say to her.
“Show me the money!” – that is what you shout as an Agent to a Sports Athlete you are trying to keep signed.
Why do women always think something is more than it really is and then at the end the guy realize that it’s what the women thought it was in the first place? I guess it’s mostly that way in chick flicks, but I see it in real life too. Is it because women can get what they want mostly? Maybe it is foreshadowing? No, what is that psychological term for wanting something and making it happen with out realizing that is what you are doing? I don’t know what it is and it is bothering me.
Do guys get Jerry McGuire?I am watching it with my brother. He didn’t get a lot of the movie. I don’t know if it is because he is young (18 years old). I don’t know if it’s just ‘cause he doesn’t get it. I don’t know if it’s because he isn’t paying attention. That dog takes up a lot of his time! Alex thinks that Jerry McGuire’s character has lost his mind…It’s hilarious!
I haven’t written much lately because I haven’t had much to say.
I still don’t have a lot to say, but I owe an update, so although it will be boring and inconsequential, I will feel more accomplished after the fact.Here goes nothing:
Someone got mugged in our parking lot (at work) today. I have things I want to say about this: people and times are getting desperate, please beware and cautious of your surroundings at all times.I have been in a situation that was unpleasant involving a person taking money from a restaurant I worked at.It was not pretty.It is a scary feeling and you just don’t really want to finish out your day once that has happened.So, be cautious and don’t be stupid.Don’t park somewhere where you are going to be walking to your car in a dark corner of the parking lot at 6:00 at night – when it’s dark outside.Don’t do it.That isn’t smart!
O.k. stepping off the soap box.
Tomorrow is Atlanta Brewing Company.I am going with my co-workers and friends from Athens. We are going to get Korean food afterwards.This seems to be a tradition. I am excited about it.
I met a guy.He isn’t looking for anything and I don’t find him physically attractive, but I did meet a guy. It was kind of fun getting to know him, we will see what happens, but as time goes I am sure it’s just gonna fizzle out like the rest of them.
[ONE] Who were your latest 3 texts from? all from Amanda [TWO] Where was your default pic taken? [THREE] What's your middle name? Michelle [FOUR] Your current relationship status? single [FIVE] Does your crush like you back? I don’t have a crush…funny, huh? For the first time in a while, no crush. [SIX] What is your current mood? bored [SEVEN] What's your mom's name? Chandra [EIGHT] What color shirt are you wearing? maroonish? [NINE] Would you kiss the last person you kissed? yes. He is a good kisser. [TEN] If you could go back in time and change something, would you? yes I would. [ELEVEN] Have a crazy side? ask other people, I don’t think it’s crazy, but they might. [TWELVE] Ever had a near death experience? uhm….i am sure I have. I mean I saved my little brother from a near death experience he doesn’t really know about, so I am sure I had one when I was little. [THIRTEEN] What is something you like to do a lot? I am stealing an answer here, because it’s good, but I altered it a little. I like to be held a lot. [FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone? yes! [FIFTEEN] Do you wanna see somebody right now? yes [SIXTEEN] Do you enjoy drama? I enjoy watching, not participating. It adds entertainment to my life. [SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you cried? yesterday [EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything for? I don’t want to answer this one. [NINETEEN] Who are/is your hero[s]? I have never thought about this one. [TWENTY] What is the one thing you notice first with the opposite sex? confidence in themselves. I look for a balance, but I notice it first. That or height. [TWENTY-TWO] What's your biggest secret? why would I tell you my biggest secret? Then it wouldn’t be a secret~ [TWENTY-THREE] Where is your ex? which one? [TWENTY-FOUR] Would you take him'her back? Theres a reason he is an ex. [TWENTY-FIVE] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? YES! I LOVE ‘EM…. [TWENTY-SIX] What are you eating or drinking at the moment? water. No food. [TWENTY-SEVEN] Do you speak any other languages? no [TWENTY-EIGHT] Whats your favorite smell? campfires [TWENTY-NINE] Describe your life: corporate. I lead a corporate life. [THIRTY] Have you ever kissed in the rain? uh huh…and it was wonderful. [THIRTY-ONE] Do you like the rain? I love rain, unless I am camping. [THIRTY-TWO] What are you thinking about right now? I wish I could generate business and be an awesome employee… [THIRTY-THREE] What should you be doing right now? working [THIRTY-FOUR] What is your favorite memory? right now, its sitting on a front porch, listening to someone play the guitar and sing. [THIRTY-FIVE] What are you listening to? the radio in the office…I think its on B98.5 [THIRTY-SIX] Who was the last person you told I love you to? it’s been a while. [THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you act differently around the person you like? no, well maybe more giddy… [THIRTY-NINE] What is your natural hair color? blackish? [FORTY] Who was/were the last person/people to make you smile? a genuine smile? I don’t really know…a smile smile – my boss.
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