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| so, im going to use this more often =) lol
well my parents are fucking annoying for one. i love them to death but damn they won't fucking shuttup. they're still bringing shit up from october and won't get over it. its like MOVE ON ALREADY ! it just pisses me off. shun me away from the world why don't you. goddammit. and like i'd ask them to go somewhere and then they'd say no and be like "no i dont wanna drive you" *ten min. later* "YOU WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH ME?" the fuck? wouldnt u have to DRIVE to do that? fucking lazy ass bitch. GRAWR. i just can't fucking wait till i get my license and have a car [hopefully] and just drive places! UGH. i wanna leave this hellhole, called home and HIGHSCHOOL at that.
speaking of highschool, JESUS I CANT TAKE AN ALL GIRLS SCHOOL ANYMORE. its just like *pulls hairs out.* frustrating... very. people have just pissing me off lately. like stupid people. oh and i've learned that i cant stand it when theres like TOOO MUCH people in ONE SPOT. like omgod MOVE ! GET A LIFE! GO SOMEWHERE! lol i get soo annoyed at the little things.
i've also noticed that i've changed a whole lot. i'm definitely not the same person i was an exact year ago. i was definitely more bouncy lively and more happy. now i'm more secretive and all this shit. i get annoyed at the littlest things and i've gotten so much bitchier. LMAO. i dont know whats wrong with me.. i thought i had myself all figured out but maybe i don't. i know people better than i know myself. and its so scary how i can figure someone out but i can't even figure myself out. like what the fuck man? maybe its just my mood swings.. i dont know. but still. I NEEEDD HELLPP AHHH
and i definitely need new friends.. lmfao. fuckkk i can't stand just chillen wit the same people over and over again, that annoys me too. like i definitely need new friends. what the fuck dude.
okay this shits long. IM OUT. peaceee<33
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| so i don't think anybody really goes on this shit anymore.
so lemme just update my life..
everything's been gay since october ; since everything happened. & he basically just fucked up my life. but thats all dismissed & he's all free ; while i'm still trapped. lucky him, son of a bitch. i talk to him every now and then, but its really nothing special. he's changed & doesn't seem the same when he talks to me. i know he's done some things that he doesn't know i know since we havent talked for months. but its whatever, i cant stress over it. he's doing him so word. i miss talking to him tho, but lets forget about that. i learned to forget the past, and i'm ready to tell people - just not straight out.
times have changed & so have people. everyone's getting into a relationship, or have just been meeting new people. gay much? word. people just forget about others and focus on one person. in all honesty, i don't think they'd last that long anyway, but thats on them. glad they're happy. it just pisses me off sometimes how they'd say they'd always pick up the phone when i'd call or when i need them. and when i do, they don't pick up.. or bother to call me back. but whatever he's a big boy now. so much of a brother figure - forget the little sister. ha. i'm happy for him tho, hes really happy.
and other than that - ha, my bestfriend. yeah, stuff has happened but its all over and done with tho. i had fun while it lasted. lmao. he's been doing his thing - nd we still tell each other secrets and stuff. love talking to that kid, really. i can be in the worst mood ever and just talking to him would make me forget it. don't know how he does it - i don't think he even knows. he's not all of a sentimental person ; so i don't go too deep on him. lmao.
i've learned to keep to myself lately - i hate opening up now. i just can't stand it. i don't think anybody really knows me anymore, considering the fact i don't tell anybody about myself - just little hints. hoping they'd figure me out, but i think everyones just confused. and once someone does figure me out and confronts me about it - maybe i'd open up. who knows?
but whatever, enough about that - i've been chillen wit old friends lately. it's been fun. ive missed them =].
and may '08 ; what a busy schedule. i have parties to go to like noooo otherrr. it's exciting. lol AND THE JABBAWOCKEEZ ARE COMING TO NYC! fuckkkk yeaa man, can't wait for that. they're soo sexy. lolol. & i'm going home to the philippines in july, i'm excited for that too. ha.
but yeah. hm, i think i should use xanga more often. it passes time. lmao<3
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| alright well hi! ... fourmonths later. these past fourmonths have been a bitch. september for me was actually okay, parties and what not. lots of shit happened in october, people are bitches and i hate liars :]. well lets just say regret isn't a good thing - and i don't really regret what had happened this past year but i'm just really disappointed in myself. yuck. isn't that horrible? mm i've learned to let go of shit so you know, whatever. lmfao people are assholes and they're stupid anyway. there have been an excessive amount of fights that ive seen these past two months, they're quite interesting shall i say. make me happy.... oddly. lmfaoooo
sooo.. i've been seriiously keeping to myself lately, its kind of a problem. lol i haven't really talked to anybody and ive just been keeping myself really fucking busy for some reason. oh, and i've been cursing too much - its sorta bad. and i hate home. im like not talking to my parents, and i seriously think my mom hates me. oh well. when are they ever satisfied anyway. lmfaooo
i got second honors this first quator tho =) although, i'm slipping this quator. fuckkk me sideways.
wow i actually wrote shit in this thing.. HAHAHA.
goodbye fuckers =)
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| when did xanga get all .... technically coolish. or whatever.. sorta pissed at the moment so don't wonder why im not all preppy like i usually am. i slept at 5am last night; and woke up at 10. who does that i usually fucking don't what the fuck is wrong with me...
thanks.
lets take my anger out on words.
im awake at 3 in the morn
its evident something is wrong
cause the felling is strong.. its so difficult just to stay calm
and my thoughts stray on, this one idea that it just plays on
weak knees, why is it so hard to just be we
it cuts deeply its not this way i thought u would treat me
when it aints us, i picture
ur witcha other girls and thats something i can't get the jist of
hair not fixed up, feeling alotta regret wishing to grin
but u got me fucked up, u see the disposition im in?
ur wrongs meant nothing, invisible to me
but im starting to spot all your flaws, and its pitiful to see
its hard to think straight
im all strung out i feel bummed
that ur promise is broken
just like what my hearts about to become
caged in, he say she say pounding my drums
its a headache babe, i try to round up the sum
but me and you.. seem to not equal together
its holding me back, nowhere near making me better
im facing to let up ... eyeliner washed away by my tears
too embarrassed to bring my face and my head up
all this has developed, im trying to get all these voice to shut the hell up
cause what i gave to you i'll never get back, i regret that. i step back and see
i wish i just never let us be.. u can bet that
fuck this.
new lyrics to new song; new mood. i fucking screwed up
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| kay, school's over in like 10days. well 10 instructional days.
then i have finals, and bio regents.
oh boo.
what to do over the summer.
blah =[
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