so i haven't been on this thing in forever..but lately i've been feeling real contemplative.

i've been living a good life.
              i've got friends that care
                          a family that will always be there
              and everyday seems to bring about something worth smiling for :)

but with all that, there are still things lingering in my mind

why can't i have it all...
               i know thats not what life is about..having it all.
                                                life wouldn't be life if it were that easy
           but sometimes i just don't understand why it has to be this way
                                  i'm a good person
                                       and i..deserve a good person to share my life with
                  its not as though i'm a totally sell-out and i ask for attention
                  but at the same i'm not extremely reserved, that i can't strike up a conversation
                                   and yes, i'd rather be independent
                                         then share my life with someone who can't bring out the best in me
           but it just seems as though this wait is never-ending
                                      and i just want to know
                                                                       when will my someone special come along..

because i wonder, when will he realize that i'm the one worth growing old with <3

but the lord knows, i’m not you
 
you know what you used to dig about me..that i’m straight edge and 
clean..and have my priorities in check and am a good friend. you 
don’t dig that sh!t anymore. but that’s alright with me, seeing as 
how the person you used to be seems to have left..and all that’s 
left is a stranger. afterall you did say that you’ve changed but i 
guess it was the side of me that believed that it was for the better. 
i wish we could just be civilized people and have a oneONone because 
[silence can be misleading]
 
and if i was, i wouldn’t be so cruel
 
its funny how you think you know yourself enough to know that things 
are finally starting to leave you mind. then you get a glimpse of a 
picture whose setting was once one that you found yourself in quite 
a lot and BAMo..you can almost feel yourself getting ready to let 
loose of some tears. then you start to think back on all the things 
that were and how they’re no more..like smiling simply because. and 
perhaps you're more attached to the memories and idea of the way 
things were..not really the person. i mean afterall how can you still 
be attached to a person who no longer exists
 
cause waitin’ on love ain’t so easy to do
 
but then again, that always gets me thinking. you gotta learn from 
your past and anticipate the future. knowing that there is someone out 
there that’s gonna make you a better person when you’re with them, 
and knowing that you’ll make someone a better person too..now that’s 
something to smile about. because the possibilities are endless and 
would you really wanna fret about someone or some people who can’t 
even have the decency and balls to tell you straight up when they say 
they’re your friends 
 
                           jack johnson: sitting, waiting, wishing (in between dreams)