guys im done with this xanga.

my new one.

visit. comment. subscribe. <3

oh murder on
.. my new screen. i will be switchin from sellmyworld to that soon. so ADD me.

and I also think I should make a new xanga.
I almost had this for ONE YEAR. can you believe it?
I know it is hard for me to switch over from this one
.. but i must

today was okay I guess. nothin really happened.
oh, johnson yelled at me this morning.
and i didnt even do anything.
haha. she is more psychotic than me.

at lunch, serdar poured water down my pants.
holy shit. it took a while to dry. hahah

after school..
jeremy took my belt. i got whacked.. ouch

 i got many kisses goodbye.
it was like this whole kissing frenzy..
i got lipgloss on yuksel & james's cheek.
james really didnt like the lipgloss.
and i even got a kiss bye from murat.
the only thing is..
i didnt get a goodbye from one boy.
it kind of hurts. hahah LMAO

it was quite a boring day indeed.
but im not so happy it's the weekend
cause i dont know what to do these next 2 days.

I came home and became all sad..
and i dont even know why.
And I started to cry...

...... Why should I even lie to myself?
I do know why I was sad...
I do know why I started to cry..
I do know why it's been like this since school started.

OH, and it hurts.

I need to get out tomorrow before I go more insane.
You know, this is tres pathetic. I think I need therapy again. <3

today was really entertaining.

in llanas, me & alyssa were talkin about everyone and if they are going to have cute babies.
zekeriya's babies are gonna be so adorableeee.

Oh. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZEKERIYA!!!
.. it was yesterday and and yeah. i havent gotten him anything yet.

in study.. alyssa was chasin jared. alanna was tryin to make a hermonica with a comb and tape.. i kept slappin her for it.

spanish.. i never write about what happens in spanish but today i will... i was helpin taner on his quiz. and he got one point higher than me! it was just *gasp*.
.. then Jared & Alanna double teamed me and poked me and I leaned forward and hit my mouth on my notebook and part of my gum started to bleed cause it hit that spiral thing.

lunch.. we sang happy birthday to zek.. we were talking about rasim's sexuality. haha.. it's so funny even though he isnt gay.

sometime after school.. let's just say i had fun okay.  haha...

i woke up this mornin at 6:13 and just so many people and past memories came through my mind.

friends, past friends, ex loves, childhood memories, bad memories, good memories, special happy moments that forever make me sad now.

at one point this morning, i had a rush of happiness and i thought maybe i could fix something in my life today which i always have intended to do since this school year started.. nothing yet successful.

soon, that happy feeling left and i got upset of how my life is now compared to the way it was before.. sure, i wasn't really a happy child but i felt loved by some people. what happened?

you know, i realize i can't fix anything in my life because people will ALWAYS be in my way.. when I try to fix something.. someone eithers gets really mad or really annoyed at me. And I turn depressed.

Why is it that some people have just as hard as a problem to talk to a person but they actually could do it.. and I cant? I am such a confident person, but when it comes down to things like these.. I disappear.

I am such a fuck up. Sorry, I am such a problem.  </3

today was arite but it made me miss yesterday.

this mornin - molested rasim for some candy

break - skipped. had an intellectual conversation with elif and the seniors

study - james cant come anymore. he was let back in llane's class.. zekeriya tryin to teach us turkish/karacay dancing.

lunch - skipped. was watchin super troopers. got caught by faust. then down to the lunch room

english - made to read.. went to sleep

after school - james was in deep thought. he looked sad. spanish pantsed andrew(what cute boxers) when i failed. andrew hurt me.

its so weird not havin a boy to make me smile anymore. I feel empty. I miss that feeling

<333 jillianne

by the way, anyone want to make me a new layout?

update- new layout. green day. pink.black.white.song - st jimmy(i love it<3)