its been so long i forgot how to start a new entry

1)cp eng-gaughran

2)stats-klucsarits

3)honors psych-bryant

*lunch*

4)study hall

5)german IV-RITTER!

6)modern global-mentzell

7)study hall ACDEF

7)anat&phys b days

8)anat and phys-wagner

list of things i love

1.daddy

2.grammy

3.eddie

4.brothers

5.emma

6. friends (ak,js²,km,kp,ts,jg,bb,jl)

life has been weird lately. i have so much fun with my girls but something bad always happens. very much a roller coaster lately. oh well. <3333birthday=10 days

---edit--stolen from kim

if you read this, even if we dont speak often please post a comment with a memory of you and me. it can be anything you want - good or bad. when your finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised ( or mortified ) be what people remember about you

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go [i'll never let go]
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.
and i.i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i,i don't want to make things any worse.
and i , i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.
and i , i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i , i don't want to make things any worse. (any worse)
and i , i don't want to speak these words
'cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse

</3

i have one final thing to say. many people think i have all these friends and i am miss popular and i am oh so very close to my best friends. lets all set the record straight shall we. i dont have many friends at all. i have many acquintances that say hi to me and then talk a lot of shit about me and the things they think they know. i have best friends, but this year i feel i have no one. i have the kind of best friends that are always there for me, as i would be for them when something goes wrong but other then that, our relationships are nonexistant. i blame no one for this. i dont know what to do about it. i havent felt this lost and alone since both of my brothers left. i really dont know what to think anymore. i wish i hadnt fucked off the past couple of years  in school. i wish i could spend the time with my best friends that i used to i miss them so much. i wish i believed in myself enough to know that i can handle college and move onto law school but its hard when my own father doesnt believe in me. i'm stressed about everything. my family is falling apart. i have no money. i just want to get out of here. i want someone just to be there and tell me its going to be okay. make me believe everything is going to turn out okay......i just need him.......

-over and out-

vicky