| get sober get sober get sober
off season is approaching and I'm more scared then ever. YOU ARE MY CRUTCH AND I NEED YOU!
Not really, but with off season comes sad season, and with sad season comes drunk season. And if drunk season carries out the same way it did last year, then I don't even want to know.
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| this post was about to read:
AFTER TEN MONTHS OF DEALING AND BEING SLIGHTLY DEPRESSED, I AM FINALLY OVER IT AND I AM A NEW WOMAN.
It would have read this exactly ten minutes ago
but....in 600 seconds everything has changed
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| you're better off
keep telling your self that
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| I can't stop
I'm 3 weeks late.
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| It's amazing the things you can learn about love, but not even first hand. Three of my best friends in the world are completely, helplessly, head over heals in love, and I'm loving it. This weekend I'm trying to organize a small show and bake sale so that I can bring my friend's eternal love to Chicago, so that he can live here and love her and they'll grow old. The down side about this loving love business is that I'm still completely lonely. A nice ego boost has come along, once again, but lust is a different story. Being lusted for is like having someone build you up and bring you down at the same time. Sure, I feel pretty and wanted, but not for the right reasons. This was not brought by my mind or my thoughts or beliefs or the fact that I may be interesting. This is someone telling me that I'm sexy and pretty and they want me. This is someone bringing me up but not knowing how terrible I feel about this. I am not an object. I am not another article of clothing that can be worn around and worn out. It's kind of insensitive. It's not that I'm fishing for a relationship or true love for that matter, I just hate the feeling of being a last resort. A hookup. A booty-call. I may be whining for no reason, but this time I don't want to second guess myself. The fact that I let this person almost bring me down to the level of stupidity they're working with completely appalls me |
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