okay so i went a little crazy yesterday and i gained two lbs... blah.. idk why i do that.. i see that im doing well and im losing weight then i eat like crazy and wonder why i get upset about gaining weight.. i need some self control. i need to punish myself whenever i do that crap. I guess i can't be to mad at myself because im the one who did it. i really didn't eat much today though... so i think i lost a little. hopefully... and i do mean hopefully.. i wont eat like a fatty again anytime soon. I know ill do it sometime but i want it to be way down the line when i can afford to gain a lb or two not now when im striving so hard to lose this weight. On a good note.. i went to the physicall therapist today.. he was really nice his name is Andy. I have to go twice a week and get massages and work out my muscles and everything.. well today the guy who gave me my massage was so gorgeous he made me blush. I think he was hitting on me too he kept asking me about myself and what i do and all that and he kept joking with me.. and to top it all off instead of making me wear a hospital gown lol he just had me pull my shirt down off my shoulders.. wooooo it was hott. well i hope you all are doing good.

Sincerely,
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okay so i weighed 156 this morning.. 4 lbs to go until i've lost 20... hopefully that i can keep at this and get to 139 before summer. It's shooting high, but i'm a dreamer.. and i shoot for the stars. Well i hope you all are having a great day~ Love you !

Sincerely,
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it was so nice to be lazy this morning.. i woke up at like 8 but i just layed in bed with nothin to do.. it's been so long since i've been able to do that. I feel rejuvinated.. is that weird? i think something was wrong with the scale the other day when it said i weighed 155 because the next morning i weighed like 159... and now i weigh like 158.. so idk i think it goes crazy sometimes or something. so now i have 6 lbs to lose.. if the scale was right. you know to any normal person 3 lbs wouldn't be a big deal, but to me it makes me so sad to think about that for that one day i weighed 155 or so it said and now i weigh 158... i just wanna get down to 120... i just wanna lose like 38 more lbs...hopefully i can lose at least half of that by summertime.. i wanna look skinny in a bathing suit.. im so incredibly scared of summer right now. So if I lose 19 lbs by the time summer is here ill weigh 139.. so i have a little over two months.. im hoping so bad that I can do this. if i think about it this way though.. i once weighed 179... disgusting I know.. and if i can push myself to where I am now.. I can push myself to be where I want to. I love you all and I hope you have a great week next week.

Sincerely,
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I went and got my nose pierced today.. it's really cute I did it on the left side. It made my eyes water, but I realy like it. My mom hates it, yet she's the one that took me to get it done. I think her whole logic was that she would rather take me to a sterile place then have me get it done from one of my friends. It cost me 60 dollars. Oh well it was worth it! I'm doing good on my diet still I didn't reach my 20 lb loss by yesterday, but it wont take me much longer for that. I hope you all are doing great. Love you all!

Sincerely,
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