Wednesday, July 30, 2008

  • His Strength is manifested in my weakness(es)



    I'm almost halfway through my semester. I know I'm lagging behind in many tasks. But, still need to stop to catch my breath and do a short update for those who might be wondering how things are going:

    a) MYPG (19th July): Many new friendships were formed (and forged). Am proud of the way many of the Youth 'rose to the challenge' and some are even staking their lives on something that is not even in concrete form yet. Also am encouraged by the 'Crazy Northerners' (which includes the entire Alor Setar Gang, Marcus, Melchor, Natalie and Elaine + the whole Kuantan 'Kompany') who took the time to come. Not that the MYPG EVENT itself was a success per se (although we have had alot of good testimonies from it), but more so the fact that there are people who can be mobilized, and move at the trumpet call. Let us arise and be faithful to the Calling we have received. There is so much more ground that must be covered to see this 'vision' come to pass, and so much more sacrifices need to be offered up. I also await the arrival of 'others' in the form of new and 'alternative' groups who may hear about this and come alongside in the coming months.

    b) Mum's 60th birthday (25th July): Went back last weekend for meetings and to spend an evening with mum (albeit at someone else's wedding dinner) but at least got to see her and bought some stuff for her to show my appreciation for the legacy she has left (and is leaving- she is not Home yet!). May the Lord Himself be her strength and stay.

    c) Weddings: I've got EIGHT weddings this year. Not as much as some socialites, but August will be insane, what with two weddings going back to back in one weekend.

    d) Studies: I'm not progressing as fast as I would like, although I have a better idea of what is expected. My own expectations for the second term is as high (if not higher) and I guess my kiasu streak remains. Problem with this is that I unconsciously encumber the youth with such 'unrealistic' ideals that most of them break under the pressure.

    e) Politics: Alot of things have been going on. Here are a few that trouble me:

    i) Racist comments in Universities

    ii) UMNO-PAS Alliance will mean greater discrimination (now with 'religion' added into the mix), what with 'Malay Rights' being a harbinger of segregation and racial disunity but yet brandished by the ruling elite. Furthermore, actions by the existing government to stop Anwar from taking over the helm are bordering on the maniacal, sparing nothing in terms of justice and common sense, assuming the common public will either be so dissatisfied and leave or just accept everything that is given



Wednesday, July 09, 2008

  • The Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering #1

    This is part of a movement to raise up young people to give their lives to full-time service. This means choosing professions that will allow for service and ministry to the people at large who need help and support. We are looking at teachers, pastors, doctors and lawyers, with a difference- people who are willing to go the difficult path of downward mobility and go where faith costs the most.

    We are starting with a clear vision to respond to a dying need. We believe the starting point is prayer and petition and sharing of the vision. It starts with teamwork with all who are working among young people. It is a God-given vision for an XY generation.

    If you want to be part of this movement, do consider coming for the first Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering which will be held in Kluang, God willing, on the 19th of July. We don't even know what the Lord will do after this. :)

    Run, with no limits.







Sunday, June 29, 2008

  • I Can't Stand This (Part 2)

    I don't know about you, but I'm so sick of the way the government is trying to buffoon its way around with the populace, thinking we are still living in the age where we will listen to everything we are told. And now with the recent scandals (sodomy allegations made on Saturday) and (possible death threats), see here for Anwar's most recent Press Statement released from the Turkish Embassy, at 5.30 pm today. Whatever vestiges of hope from the BN has evaporated clean out of the window. Even if Anwar is not the person that everyone can (or should) trust, the alternative seems to be infinitely worse.

    Please, if there is anything we can do, do it. I will play my part to spread the word (as always) and continue talking to people about the gross inaccuracies of the Mainstream Media, the one-sided nature of government policies and the racist attitudes of many current BN politicians, including Najib, Hishamuddin and Khairy. These are the 'upcoming' hopefuls in UMNO, who are trying to lie low after the people's backlash in March. But other more determined people are doing their best to unearth the things some of these people are trying so desperately to hide.




Tuesday, June 24, 2008

  • I Can't Stand This

    When the 29-year old CG leader, Hannah Yeoh, decided to join the DAP party, little was she prepared for what would unfold. "Her life is not hers to live (now)," quoted a close aide, describing her hectic lifestyle of rushing from one meeting to another, hardly having time to do her own things. She also happens to be a Christian assemblyman representing one of the largest constituencies in Selangor- 1.5 million middle to upper middle class residents.

    See here for a recent story of how she was denied attendance at a prefects reunion at her former school, for the only reason that she was a member of DAP. There are many others in our country that have such 'bias'  towards anything 'non-BN'. Some of them are Christians. Most who still follow the careening BN party are probably still blissfully unaware of how biased the mainstream media really is.

    We need to revamp our education system, badly. Volunteers, anyone?





Monday, June 16, 2008

  • Confessions of a Sinner and Hypocrite


    If anything, I would be Malaysia's worst hypocrite.


    Top ten reasons why:

    10: I have not memorized the Scriptures and "hidden your word in my heart, that I may not sin against you..." (Psalm 119:11)
    9: I have been proud, arrogant and impatient. I have not been "completely humble and gentle; [...] patient, bearing with [others] in love." (Eph 4:2)
    8: I have not had a pure thought-life, and failed to think on "whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable— excellent or praiseworthy..." (Philippians 4:8)
    7: I have jumped to conclusions too quickly and hurt people in the process. I have not been "quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to get angry." (James 1:19)
    6: I have not kept my promises. I have not let my "yes be yes, and your no be no" (Matthew 5:37)
    5: I have lusted after women in my heart and not "fled from sexual immorality..." (1 Cor 6:18)
    4: I have not prayed "without ceasing..." (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
    3: I have watched "p"-rated stuff as recently as May
    2: I have judged others in my heart
    1: I have been a stumbling block through the above actions to both Christians and non-Christians

    As God shows mercy on me and forgives my sins just as I readily forgive those who have sinned against me, I hope that in time you may see some gradual changes.





Friday, May 23, 2008

  • First Semester Review

    It's over. I finally completed all my remaining assignments, and the relief is of the floating-in-the-air kind. I am relieved at the same time disappointed. Let me do a brief summary of what I thought of my first five months in STM:

    The Good:
    a) Subject Material: Enjoyed it immensely. Learnt alot from the following classes (the 'material' was fascinating!)
    - Early Church History (50-500 AD)
    - Introduction to Theology (Doctrine of God- covers Natural Theology, Creationism, Problem of Evil, The Trinity, etc)
    - OT/NT Surveys (both taught quite differently, both uncovered new layers of understanding into how the Bible is/was structured and formed)
    - Greek (this could have turned out better, but midway through the semester, I realised my assignments were catching up on me, so the regular revisions suffered)

    b) Student Life: I have enjoyed meeting different people from different places, all having more or less the same intentions and worshipping the same Lord, although in slightly different expressions. "The Wonderful Peoples!"


    c) Food in STM: This has always been a sorepoint, but I found that the food in STM was actually quite edible, and although some complained that there was chicken everyday, I kinda got used to it. Not to mention all those odd days when a few kind souls would whip up Western-styled breakfast offerings, or the readily available siew pau....

    d) Liturgy and Worship: I have been enjoying the varied liturgical forms used in our Chapel services. The various ways of worshipping God. Standing, kneeling and "Peace-ing" traditions that are as early as 200 AD!


    The Bad
    a) Assignments, assignments, assignments
    Ya, this has been a sore point for me. Trying to finish all the readings (that I want) has been a killer,
    because I not only have to digest and make sense of all the stuff I am swallowing- not all whole- I also have to formulate these into coherent arguments. The delays in finishing these bodies of work inevitably resulted in a chain reaction prevented me from being set loose earlier (and owning this sense of happy-ness sooner. Ish.)

    b) Foray into Chinese

    I have wanted to improve my Chinese since my days in Kluang, four years back. Now it is no different. Trying to talk more, and also jumping at opportunities to interpret messages
    into Chinese, to which efforts have been quitge pathetic, to say the least (this is by the standards of some of my Chinese-educated friends). But... I doubt I will give up so soon.

    c) Student Politics
    Plunged into the murky waters of student politics whether I liked it or not, the presence of misunderstandings, disagreements and hurt feelings are part and parcel of any organization peopled by 'human beans' (yes, me included). The thing is, how do we overcome this to strengthen the community and not destroy it? There ARE the  trouble-makers, and there ARE the victims. Lord, help us all.

    The Next Semester
    a) Next sem looks more ardous, as the credit hours are more and (I will have less time to do all my 'other' stuff- like play endless Scrabble games on Facebook!!)
    b) I hope to start training again for a run in December, which was put off earlier this year by an accident
    c) Start assignments earlier?


    Just some plans lahh. But the last semester has again proved that "Man plans in his heart; but God determines his steps." So, I just hope (and pray) that I won't be making the same mistakes as I did this semester, and maybe there will be a more 'favourable' evaluation come November this year.


    Peace.



Friday, May 16, 2008

  • I Hate Myself Today (sic)

    "I hate myself today. I hate myself because I am so powerless to do what I need to do. To wake up as I should, to study as I should, to finish what I must; to stop doing what is bad for me; to stop being the person that I know is not good for both me and my future. To be in the state that I should be in when I must; to obey as I should; to memorize all the words. I hate myself for being so disobedient; so prone to my own wants, desires and feelings. To be unable to think and reason; to not feel the Father's reassuring love; to not act in obedience to all that the Spirit prompts not to do. How many times has He chided me? When will I ever learn? Why do I get into these moods anyway? There is no good reason why I should. I am so egotistical, so proud, so double-minded, so inconsistent, lacking in discipline, hypocritical, incapable of loving, disobedient, rebellious, immoral, impatient, unable to do the most basic things. When will I ever learn to not take up so many things; having the continuous tendency to have to PROVE MY WORTH BY what I do? Am I not as smart as I should be? I am definitely not as obedient or as consistent as I should be. Not as mathematical as I should be?! And I know that I am just a bit stressed out by my "play now, pay later" tendency. What should be done must be done, and yet I seem to always get distracted and not do what I should. I need to just do as I ought. I think I am in bondage. Bondage to MSN can be easily dealt with, but towards Facebook I need to finish that game first. I think I am imploding again. The usual reason for this is because I do not have enough rest."

    I wrote this sometime during the semester during one of my 'down days'. The last line summarizes up the root cause of why I went on this tirade. But I think you, my beloved reader, can see alot of the inner struggles, and workings of a troubled and disturbed soul, which you might even find in your own ruminations.

    Now that the Semester is over, and I have finished almost all my work, I found that the paragraph helped to puts things into perspective again. And I have the joy to praise the Lord for bringing me through such 'dark days'!

    ps. I managed to break the MSN and Facebook 'addictions'. Will look to new approaches next semester and allow my Kiasu side to give me some helpful tips on how to prepare for the new term with a 'battle plan' and on how to do "what is needed". Its time management and a good helping of sensibility thrown in. And if you can read btwn the lines in the above rant, you can tell I was heavily overcommitted, as I was not sure of the workload at STM. I have learnt my lesson (the hard way). Its either I change my way of working or decrease the load. :)



Monday, May 12, 2008

  • EXAMS

    To my dear young friends in Kluang who are in the midst of exams,

    Yes, I am also in the midst of my first term exams. Day is night and night is day. See you on the other side.

    One of my STM mates called me a 'caveman' because I have been spending so much time in my room studying (and who knows what else?) But, the only thing that propels me to study so hard is KIASUISM.

    If I wanted, I guess I could just study and 得过且过 (get by) without failing, but this thing in me wants to outdo everything else, and so I put myself through the paces. If you ask me, I'd say its pride, plain and simple.

    I guess you could say that I'm still in the midst of finding that middle ground between unbearable pride and a healthy knowledge of one's own capacities.



Friday, May 09, 2008

  • Let me be grafted into The True Vine

    There is absolutely no conceivable reason for possessing an anchored joy that girds thoughts and actions while the rest of the world slowly blurs.

    A hunger for all things Divine echoes in the soul's recesses. Opinions (of others) no longer feature.

    Everything around is slowing to relativity- time, concepts of friends and responsibilities- but new milestones forged. The mind and spirit is growing stronger; the body purified. All around feeble faith cries, "Die!" but inside the Spirit sings its song in triumph.

    Unbelief, unfaithfulness and doubt are now becoming clearer nemeses, and a single purpose must be refined in the fires of surrender.

    The mind is secondary to the three-fold integration: the Body being given relative autonomy for the general well-being, but not achieving unilateral control. No one is a friend, no one is an enemy. But The Enemy seeks total destruction of all that is fair.

    My form is evolving into an extension of the inner self that cannot but remain insoluble.

    Run, burn and fly... with no limits.


Thursday, May 08, 2008

  • The Shield of Patrick of Ireland

    As we head towards the final leg of the semester, with remaining assignments to be completed and preparation for exams needed, I am filled with an inexpressible joy. (More on that tomorrow)

    I would like to share with you the The Shield of St Patrick, who was a British missionary to Ireland during the 5th Century. Patrick was kidnapped by Irish invaders when he was sixteen but managed to escape, before being called back to the place of his captivity (in a dream) with the Gospel. He went through some training, became a bishop and gave the remainder of his life to Ireland. He would travel from place to place with the Gospel and had to ward off the dark druids and evil powers that prevented his work of sharing the Word. This is shown clearly in the prayer.

    It is probably around 1500 years old.

    Shield of St. Patrick

    I arise today
    Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
    Through the belief in the threeness,
    Through the confession of the oneness
    Of the Creator of Creation.

    I arise today
    Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
    Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
    Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
    Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment Day.

    I arise today
    Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
    In obedience of angels,
    In the service of archangels,
    In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
    In prayers of patriarchs,
    In predictions of prophets,
    In preaching of apostles,
    In faith of confessors,
    In innocence of holy virgins,
    In deeds of righteous men.

    I arise today
    Through the strength of heaven:
    Light of sun,
    Radiance of moon,
    Splendor of fire,
    Speed of lightning,
    Swiftness of wind,
    Depth of sea,
    Stability of earth,
    Firmness of rock.

    I arise today
    Through God's strength to pilot me:
    God's might to uphold me,
    God's wisdom to guide me,
    God's eye to look before me,
    God's ear to hear me,
    God's word to speak for me,
    God's hand to guard me,
    God's way to lie before me,
    God's shield to protect me,
    God's host to save me
    From snares of demons,
    From temptations of vices,
    From everyone who shall wish me ill,
    Afar and anear,
    Alone and in multitude.

    I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
    Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
    Against incantations of false prophets,
    Against black laws of pagandom
    Against false laws of heretics,
    Against craft of idolatry,
    Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
    Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

    Christ to shield me today
    Against poison, against burning,
    Against drowning, against wounding,
    So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
    Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
    Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
    Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
    Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
    Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
    Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
    Christ in every eye that sees me,
    Christ in every ear that hears me.

    I arise today
    Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
    Through belief in the threeness,
    Through confession of the oneness,
    Of the Creator of Creation.

    ___________________________

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