I have a ton of meetings.

School starts Monday.

I already have assignments and a "knowledge test," if you will.

I'm confused on eating habits.

I am psyched for my classes.

I'm worried about staying organized.

I want to visit my other friends at their colleges--ROAD TRIP!!

I started studying for my MCAT.

My room is cute.

I signed a piece of paper from my university practically signing away my life.

I am not home sick, but I would like to go back sometime to say hey to my kc folks.

I have a bike and a comfty chair.

I want people to come to my dorm and visit me and spend the night.

I have a bamboo plant I named Mr. Bamboo.

I have to go check my laundry.

My stomach feels weird.

It's awkward pooing at this place.

I am sleepy.

Updates later?

Amber

I did it! I did break it off with Shane. I'm sick of the constant lieing. I'm sick of the drinking out of moderation. I'm sick of being put at the end of the list. Seriously....did it have to come to this? I'm glad he doesn't read these, because he never knows how I feel, nor should he. He shouldn't know that he breaks my heart over and over by ditching me to hang out with someone else. He shouldn't know that he breaks my heart over and over when he tells me something and I hear differently from someone else THEN he confronts me about it.

I hope college will give me a brand new start. I'm not looking for a relationship AT ALL. I Love Shane. I truly do, but I have to desensitize myself or something, because all the good times are no longer out weighing the bad. I plan to go to Florida and perhaps California this summer. I will get away and hang out with Hang in FL and with my distant aunts in CA. I'm so hurt--I don't want this pain anymore. I need to enjoy my future and work hard.

I'm not going to be the alcoholic working at some lame job for the rest of my life and inviting my buddies over to get drunk with my already drunk self. A lot of what I'm saying is out of anger. I better go now before I say something I might not like to say. I do love him though..bye

I love Shane.

I hope we maintain a strong, healthy relationship.

I plan to move out soon.

College starts soon...I'm attending NWMSU.

Graduation: 22 Mai 2008

Graduation party--to be determined

I LOVE YOU SHANE!

You are the heart in my chest. You are the strength in my arms.

I don't think Shane will read this...if so how embarrassing!! lol jk

IF this is SHANE..then stop reading here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Please, darling don't read this..before you do..if you must ask me lol

I doubt he'll read this..but I really want a promise ring from Shane...I know this summer together is going to be awesome, because I will be more chill and less stressed..and occupied with a ton of things to do with friends! lol I'm so excited for this summer... We will celebrate our 2 years and I'm hoping to give him a huge gift! I plan to go to Chicago with him still...hopefully I can plan it as a surprise and take off work for him..etc Wouldn't it be so much fun? I know some things he would be interested in doing so...I think it'd be great..but then again....he doesn't care too much for surprises..but I'm sure he'll like this one! lol Perhaps a few friends will join us on our way to Chicago or Cali..wherever we go! lol anyways I love him and enjoy his company no matter what...even though I can be a jerk and we can have bad arguments and not agree on things...I think we got it good. We are crazy about eachother...We know things about eachother that we would never share...I have opened my eyes to things which people do and he does as well which won't hurt him as bad as I assume..I think he thinks I try to destroy his fun(drug wise or vandalism..what come may) by complaining but I just look out for his safety..NO, I'm not his mom...it's just I really love him and don't want him to be troubled with his future or what not...I wish he wouldn't smoke because he has been having problems with his lungs lately by coughing constantly..otherwise, I would be better with the decision..besides the fact it's simply bad...sometimes I think he has no will power...I think he just gives into things which satisfy his "feel good" center aka Limbic System/reward pathway idk

Through every belief, value, moral, accident I love him..and I hope he appreciates this and understands that I will always love him..I just want him to be happy with me, not upset that I'm different and am less accepting than others--like his friends..We are different of course..and I strongly believe that his friends don't understand me as well but that's alright..It's a relationship b/w me and him...we love eachother...and we want to live healthy..go swim all day..i'm just ranting..but that's alright might as well..he won't listen to me sometimes..he hates talking on the phone long..Idk..there are a ton of things which make me sad, but I need to understand that they are just differences but i believe that he also should sacrifice things like I do (those which are dear to me)...I honestly think we're great..i just want a promise ring...or a promise..our bracelets are like promise rings...i don't want him to spend a ton of money on me..honestly!!!-->he chooses to............a lot of promises have lost value due to him breaking them..and lack of good communication..so this will send a clear message! lol hopefully..i just want him to continue to want me even through college..i have no desire to seek out another idk anyways ill stop and do some german hmwrk ..

Anyways, Shane...

Shane I love you darling!