youthchick25's Xanga

god is good

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:11:39 GMT

I officially have my own car now. Its a 96 sable mercury. Not to shabby of acar. It atleast gets me back and forth from work.

confused

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:26:55 GMT

Yes I know that its been forever since I have blogged but This past year has gone by so fast. So Much has happened yet at thje same time it feels as nothing has happened.
For the longest time when I moved back to Blackwell, I was so angry with God. The one place that I hated being at the most, thats the one place that God sent me. For the first few months I was here I did anything and everything to find a way to leave knowing that this is where I was supposed to be at the time. I couldnt understand or grasp why God would have me return to a place where there was nothing left for me. I had no friends here, a family that doesnt even know me, and a church who will never see me for the Woman of God who i had become. This is the first time in a long time that i truly was so mad and angry at God in a long time. I was almost at the point where I didnt want anything to do with him anymore.
But yet at the same time, I knew this is where I was supposed to be for a small season of my life. Cause I knew that if I could not make it on my own here, that I couldnt make it anywhere. Since i graduated college, I have been running from where and what God wants me to be. Sadly layley I have lost sight of the dream that God has placed inside of me.
God has been doing some amazing thins in my life. He took me out of a bad situation and placed me with a family that has beeen A God send. I have a new church that I have been going to and God has really begun to open up some doors for me. But Im at a cross roads right now.
Everyday that I am not in ministry or working with youth, that pasion inside of me is dying. i am loosing sight of all the dreams and visions that God has placed within me. I feel so isolated and alone here without haveing true friends, without haveing a strong support system of fellow women who are my age. Everyone that I am "friends" with, are either 6-8 years younger than me, 5-7 years older than m, or if the are my age, there married and have kids. Its so frustrating at times.
Im really beging to resent being here for as long as I have. I have an okay job that I barley make it by every month, Im really starting to not like my job. I dont want to get to the place where, s okay that im not in ministry, wher im not doing what God has called me to do.I dont want to become luke warm. I need God to move so desperatly, so mighty in my life. Im tired of the se old mundan life Ive been living.
I want God to use my life in ways that He has never done before, I want to be in full tim youth ministry, I just want somnething differnt than the life I have now.

But the one thing I do know, is that God does have everything under control. He does have a plan and a purpose for my life even though it has been pushed to the side on my part. I know everythiogn will happen in its due season. And no matter what, I will stand through this season.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:32:57 GMT

So heres my life in a nut shell. I know its been a while since I have been on here, but life has been busy. I offically have a lisence now. I have been with walamrt for an offical year today. Totally wanted something differnt and chopped all my hair off it looks awesome, hopefully pics coming soon. Ive been attending a ew church for the past month now and its amazing. We starting attending one of the small groups there. God has been so amazing these last few weeks its unbeleivable.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 23:58:59 GMT

So I found out that its possible to get a pop cicle stuck to your tongue and lips. Dont try it it hurts

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 22:13:32 GMT

So i had an interesting experince today. Latley I have been riding my bike to and from work to get some excersie and all. Well today is just an extremly hot day so Jennifer came to pick me up when i got off work. We put the bike ine the back of the car as far as it would go. Basically the front handles and tire were sticking out of the trunk. As soon as we get on the road the bike starts to fall out of the trunk. It was hilarious. So we pulled over, and I had to slide into the back seat pull the seats down and hold onto the back tire so that way the bike would fall out. It was quite a sight. We looked like rednecks. We didnt even get half way home, and all of a sudden there is a cop following us. We so though he was going to pull us over cause I was sitting sideways in the back seat and didnt have a seat belt on. He followed us for a good 10 blocks before we turned. Thankfully he went straight. We were so worried that he was going to pull us over. Thats my stroty for the day

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:11:56 GMT

all I can say is that this has been an interesting last few weeks. First last weekend I had twisted my lower back out of place real bad. And guess how I did that... in my sleep, thats right i said in my sleep. I guess I was having a bad dream or something that night. by monday morning I could barley walk sit or lay down with being in alot of pain. It was crazy. But things are better now thankfully. I was stuck sleeping on the couch for a week to make sure I stayed confined.

So back in May, a certain guy friend came to visit me here in oklahoma. we have known each other for around a good four years now. We had dated back in college, and to be honest a part of me did fall in love with him. Back then I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him, but the timing was all wrong for the both of us. He transferred from SAGU and we kinda lost touch after that. You know that saying out of sight out of mind, well i think for the most part that is true, but it wasn't necsesary in this case. even though I told everyone that I was over him, I really wasn't. But I pushed all those feelings to the back and moved on in a way, with the thinking about him here an there.

well as i said he came and visited back in may for memorial weekend. We had alot to talk about. It was so weird cause we both had said that we would be happy spending the rest of our lives together, but its like the whole timing thing again was so off. we both wanted to be together but we didnt know how it would work. So at that point we were like ok, ill go visit him sometime soon, and basically try to build on something if it was there. I was really looking forward to being able to spend some more time with him.

so while all this is going on, Gd is telling me that he not the one. That we are not who he has for each other. But I so kept fighting God. because of the fact that yes there is a part of me that still loves him, but there are things that i know that would never work out between us. basically by continueing to try to pursue anything with him, i would by saying ok im giving up the call and the dreams that God has placed in me. but yet a part didnt care. So sunday night at church, my pastor comes up to me toward the end of service and was like i want so and so to pray with you cause God has something dynamic for you. He knows who the perfect guy for you is. He has someone for you that will make your minisrty together even greater. It was crazy cause I havent mentioned any of this to anyone except one person. And i know she would dare say anything.

So I have come to the point where, I know what needs to be done. I have stopped persuing this guy even though it doesw hurt. But yet the awesome thing about it, is that God has already given me the peace and comfort thati need. I dnt need to worry about when and if ill ever meet the guy, cause I know tat no matter what happenss, that I am ok with it being just me and God. He has everything that I will ever need and want. he is just so awesome.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 22:15:27 GMT

Ok so I know its been forever and a day since I have updated on here. Life has been so busy the last few months but a good busy. For those who dont know I have finally moved out of my parents house, and now am living with a family from church. It has been so amazing. God has really been teaching me and stretching alot since moving in with them.

They are a wonderful family, who have shown me what it really means to be a christian family. I dont feel like I have to walk on eggs shells around them cause there not saved, cause they are saved. Its so good to know that if there is anything that is troubling me, that I can just talk to them and theyll be there to pray with me and be there for me. This is a totally new experince for me.

Things at work have been crazy. Being the Jewlwery and Shoes department manager can get crazy at times. I didnt realize there is so much that goes into it. But its a great learning experince as well.

Oh this is for you Shannon Ill have my licsence by the end of July!!

im still alive

Thu, 03 May 2007 20:35:36 GMT

yes i am still alive. being department manager is very busy and triring work. Plus I also moved out of my parents house and am living with a famile from church. thing are good. plus tomorow is my birthday yae

Stressed

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 00:40:21 GMT

So I didnt realize exactly what i was getting myself into when I took the Department Manager job. This past week has been so overwhelminly stressful is unbeleivable.There is so much stuff involved with being a manager.I have 2 departments that I am incharge of . I almost wanted to quit yesterday when I found out just how much I am expected to learn in a matter of just a short time. Plus it doesnt help that Inventory is in just a few weeks and I have no clue what I am doing.But strangly, there is such a rush of excitement with having to learn everything so fast and up front. Knowing that I am the one responible for alot of things really makes me want to step up to the plate and far exceed the expectations that are on me right now. i want to be the best department mager that this walmart has ever seen. Its so weird to feel totally out of my mind scared and full of excitment all at one time. Lord give me then stragnth

Monday, March 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:06:07 GMT

As soon as my Pastor said that there would be a guest Evangilist in tonights evening service, I just knew that God was up to something. I came with an expectant and willing heart. During worship all I could say was ok everything that has happened in my life and everything else that happens you are the only one who desrvers all the glory for it. Its not my might, strength, will, power anything but its yours.

At the end of service the evanglist asked those of us who are wanting basically just a willingness to be blessed a williness to do what God asks of us to come up to the front. the whole time were just praying for individuals seeing healings talking place right then and there. In the middle of him praying for someone else he just points at me and says, something life changing is about to happen for you.

So he looks at me and says, basically you really just need a majot overhauling. From many physical problems to emotional things and other areas am I right.For someone your age you have so much wrong. thats just not right. By this time im just balling shaking my head yes. as soon as my ands hit the air and i looked up toward God I could just feel this release of everything. Gods annointed was so strong up there.my life really is changed.

After service me and one of the ladies were talking when the evangelist walked up and I was just saying how I could already breathe better.he asked if it was ashma yes its ashma. I looked at Joanna and was like what else aint wrong with me. kinda laughing cause with all the physicall stuff going on latley. So the evangleist was saying that he felt as though theer was something in the stomach region and it was like God was doing surgery. almost like removing something like cancer. I looked at Joanna and she was like well if things dont change she was going to have to have surgery. You know God really did do surgery on me tonight, and I am beleiving that al the phyiscall problems are gone for good.

Isnt God great.