I should be taking a take home exam right now. But I couldnt concentrate because I had this on my mind.  Have you guys ever thought about heaven?  I mean like really think about it. What is it going to be like? I know that we relly have no idea because not much is spoken of heaven, but I kind of think of the garden of eden.  Gods original intetion was to have us live in a world with no sin.  And when He makes the new heaven and the new earth, all sin will be gone.  So I tend to think that He is going to make another world, simular to this one, where we are going to talk and laugh and play and just enjoy eachothers company, without any sin, anger, hurt, pain, heartbrakes, death.  None of that. We will in eternal happyness.  Now think about being happy. I mean truly relly happy.  How often does that happen... and even when it does happen, how long does it last? If you lucky, you can find true unhindered happyness for a couple of min.  But this is going to last forver. Never have a reason to frown.  And we will be with God face to face.  He will be our focus and He will give us all we need. I cannot imagine happyness like that. I mean I take the happyness that I feel when im with special people in my life, , and its great. It brings a smile to my face. But at the same time thier is alwayz that little bit of sorrow, little bit of worry, little bit of stress at the back of my mind.  Than I think of being that happy all the time without anything in the way. Its just amazing. . Than, think about the beauty.  Imagine the most beautiful sunrize you have ever seen.  Imagine it.  I have been on a boat in the middle of ocean in Puertorico, and watched the sunset as I got drizzled on.  Its breathtaking. The clouds turning colors. Its absulutly amazing looking at Gods creation. Than I stop and think and I realize... This is the cursed version. This is the place stained with sin. If that sun set has been stained, has been tainted with this world. Imagine the kind of beauty that awaits us. Nothing like we have ever seen.  that amazez me.  Im sorry, some of you prob will not appreciat my excitment about this... But i am blown away. And I cant wait. . Seing a pure unchanged sunset in Heaven with God and millions of voices singing praises to the father. Now thats somthing woth waiting for.

Last thing I would like to say is for all of you who are going through a hard time in life.  I know how it goes, and i know how it feels to run the wrong direction. But I also know how liberating it feels to give it up to God and let Him take care of it.  No matter what i have ever gone through in my life, no matter what has ever happened, Thier has never been a time when God was not able to lift my spirits and help me be strong when I called to Him.  The hard part is calling. But no matter your reason for not crying out to Him its not worth it. You will feel pain and hurt that are not necisarry.  I know some of you are scared, some of you are to hurt, some of you are to angry with Him. But none of that... none of that should stop you from calling His name.  He will help you, and He will give you anwers. I know a lot of things dont make sence to us on this earth and it seems so wrong to our eyes.  But we were not thier.  We didnt see the heavens spoken into exsistence. We cannot fathum Gods plans.  So before we question, doubt jump to conclutions. We should ask. And pray. And He will reviel, and pull you out of your pit. God loves you, no matter what youve done or havnt done. And all He wants is to be with you, have a relationship with you. God does not cause us pain for no reason. And He never ask's us to go through it alone. Cry out to Him. Let Him help. He will. He alwayz does.

Cry out to Jesus

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Just a few questions I have

 How in this world can we put a man on the moon,
And still have a need for a place like St Jude's?
And why is one man born,
In a place where all they know is war?
An' a guy like me,
Has always been free.

An' how can two people who built a lovin' home,
Try for years an' never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holdin' tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

An' why did my cousin have to die in that crash?
A good kid, only seventeen, I still wonder 'bout that.
It seems unfair to me,
Some get the chance to chase their dreams,
An' some don't.
But what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

Why do I feel like you hear these prayers of mine.
When so many oughta be ahead of me in line?
When you look down on me,
Can you see the good through all the bad?
These just a few questions I have.

Have a good one guys, God bless Im praying for all your troubles.... TIEZ

Ok so here it is. I finaly am updating like I promised. SOOO since I last updated I have done a lot im not even going to pretend that I can remember everything ive done but heres a quick summery. Ive been working hard at school, tryin to gradguate. I have also been working as a security guard still.  Though I have cut down my hours to two days a week. =). God has been good to me. Things have been going well.  So Ive seen a bunch of movies but the one I would recomend the most as the best is the Departed. Yes I know it has leo decaprio in it but it is relly good. Long but good. Watch it. Saw 3 wasnt too good. Big disapointment. Grudge 2... um no. that is all I have to say about that. hmm ive seen more but that is all im gonna mention. lol. Um ive been home pretty much everyother weekend. That was great. love it. My band is doing great, for all of you who like us. =) Th3 Th33 will be preforming again soon. Ill keep yous posted on the locations.

Umm. Jimmy and Brian (my fellow th33 members) came down to my school to visit. We had a great time. lol. Lazer tag, photo shoots, hard core polish ping pong, nasty drinks. Oh yeah good times. Hm. what ells. Oh I went home for thanksgiving.  I went to Jimmys on wen night when I got home and me, him, Brian and Shay all stayed up all night chillin. lol. Than I went back home at like 7 and left for NY for thanksgiving.  That was fun. Its always fun with fam. Black fri I had to go back to school for the day to work .  Not a fan. But I went back home on Sat eav. And spent a lot of time with Jamee.  That was good. Than that night I went back to Jimmys and hung out with him and JR and Jeff and Miss, and Jordan.  Good times. We played some Bond just chilled. You know how I do. Than the next day I had my birthday celabration at home considering I couldnt be home on my bday. I than went to praise and worship and than.. you guessed it, back to Jimmys and hung out with JR, Jimmy, Billy, and Shay. Good times. Me, Jimmy and Bill all practiced for our thingy were doing for Christmas. And yeah. On my birthday the girls took me ice skatin. That was a lot of fun.  I only fell once. . lol. But good times. hm so much more took place but I am not going to put everthing that has happend since I last updated. So ill talk to you kids later. TIEZ

I still have this thing??? lol. Sup all, long time no update. I actually forgot about it. So im sorry to both of you guys who still take the time to read this. lol. But yeah. God has been showing me a lot latly.  One big thing He just showed me is about motives.  And how often we do things for the wrong motives and not even realize that we are.  Jesus gave us a perfect example of pure motives when He died for people who reject Him.  When He still hears our prayers and gives what we do not diserve even though we turn around and spit in His face.  How many of us truly know love this way.  So many times I say that im doing things for the right reason and I honestly am, in my own mind, not looking for anything back. But in reality, if I was not looking for somthing in return why would I get angry or upset if the person is not gratful or doesnt say thank you?  That is expecting somthing in return.  So often I think we think of getting things in return as tangible things.  But we can expect so much more than that.  We expect the person to show apreciation.  But why? Did we do it for that reason.  If not that we should not only not get bent out of shape when they dont appreciat it, but we should not stop doing it even if we get insulted or ridiculed or even hurt by the same person we are trying to love.  That was Jesus' example.  I struggle with this.  I try and be a genorouse person and I do things for people just because I want to make them smile.  But if that person doesnt show that he or she is excited or happy about what I did, if that person doesnt give me the response I was looking for, im disapointed and often angry.  So my motives were not really pure.  I want God to teach me how to do things for people without expecting anything in return.  I want to be able to give to someone who spits in my face and walk away smiling and still filled with love for that person.  I understand that this is not an easy task and I probably just brought somthing on my self by making this statment.  But I think it is what Jesus showed us that He would do, has done, and is still doing today. So Lord give me strenght to handle what ever comes next. 

There was another subject that I wanted to talk about quickly.  Yes I realize that this entry is long but hey. I havnt posted in a long time. Makin up for it. . We all realize how hard life it. I meen we would have to be a compleat idiot to not realize it.  However, we continually try and handle it on our own.  Why? why do we do this?  We've already been shown that we cant do it on our own.  But we still try and try and try again.  Its amazing how stuburn we are.  Continually trying to face the devils world alone.  He is the prince of this world.  Somtimes I just want to smack myself for even thinking that i can handle what he throws at me alone.  The Angels, who are in Gods presence all the time dont even try and take on the demons.  In Daniel it talks about an Angel that was sent to Daniel to deliver a message but got held up by a demon who took him.  God had to send back up to deliver this Angel from the demon.  Not even the ark angel would go and  face satan.  In Jude it speaks of how not even Michael would try and face the devil without having God behind him.  Yet we still seem to think that we can handle it.  I am reminded of Peter walking on the water.  Why did he sink?  ALl our lives we are taught that it was because he took his eyes off God.  Yes this is true, but he doubted.  Who did he doubt?  It wasnt Jesus.  He saw that Jesus was still walking.  He had no reason to doubt Jesus.  He doubted himself.  So he sank.  Was Peter wrong to doubt himself?  No, absulutly not.  Peter could not do it, Peter could not do anythign on his own.  He was able to walk on water, he was able to cast out demons, he was able to handle all he handled for one reason and one reason alone.  He depended on God.  I am so much like Peter in so many ways.  I'll look for God and follow Him to a point, than ill look away and be like alright Lord ive got it from here.  When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, What was Peter lacking? It wasnt courage.  He was willing to fight, and possibly die to protect Jesus.  It was faith.  He once again relide on his own physical power to vet them out of a sittuation.  I dont want to rely on me. I want to rely on God and God alone.  Because we cant do anything... ANYTHING. Without His help. Well thats all the time I have for now.  I will update again on how my life is going. but for now. Have a good one, God bless, and of Coarse. TIEZ