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Thursday, October 09, 2008

Sunday, June 22, 2008

  • Hmmm... I'm wondering why is it that you stopped trying...why you stopped believing?...
    Darn it, I wish that I could have been of help... However, my faith wasn't so strong back then... I just didn't know better...
    I wish that I could have (at least) had the knowledge that I currently have, to do something for you and your faith...
    Looking back, it really was one of the greatest things to pray together (although individually) before eating food...(I know, how dorky, but it's true)

    Yet again, I wish that I could have prayed for you, with you...

    But things just went into a messy direction... which hindered me from focusing more on my faith and being of help to you (spiritually), at that time...

    Hmm... What would get you to get back on track??? Or to start out fresh???
    Sometimes I think that there's no hope on that, but I have got to believe that IT IS POSSIBLE (with God).
    It is really hard to see things clearly when I don't know where you are at...Seeing part of the outside (that is going to the wrong direction), but not seeing/knowing the inside...

    I really wish and pray that the one thing that I have in mind will work to get you on the right path...

    Oh, shoot, last minute realization: I only have like 2 months to try my best at it... after that, it might be bye, bye forever...that means less chance for you to be saved... AHHHHH!!!! >_<

    Hmmm... the day that I see you where you should be at, will be such a blessing day... Oh, how my heart looks forward to that moment!

    Well, until MY chances are completely gone/out of reach, I've got to TRY, TRY, TRY, WORK HARD, PRAY HARD, SUFFER HERE AND THERE, POSSIBLY FAIL IN THE PROCESS, GET BACK ON THE TRACK OF TRYING, ETC, ETC... AND HOPEFULLY, I SUCCEED!

    I'm going to need some good luck, and huge amounts of motivation and energy to do this... OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME! >_<



  • YAY !!! FINALLY OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL !!! WHOHOOOOO !!!! VACATION !!!!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

  • Wow, that was so unexpected.
    Now I'm scared...
    Scared of not knowing what to say...
    Scared of not finding the right words...
    Scared that there might have been wrong/false sayings...
    Scared that I might not hear...
    Scared of hearing bad/worse conditions...
    Scared because it has been this long...
    Scared because it is you...
    Although I'm glad that you have not forgotten my existence and although I respect you very much, I still get scared and nervous...
    It has always been that way...
    You were so good, generous, and supportive towards me, especially when you knew everything...
    [Back then I really felt that everything was in the right place, but now I see that it truly wasn't... now I know much better... I have changed for the better and I can now live up to what I called myself, much more righteously and wisely...]
    I hope that he is happy...
    I know that many times he might have "rebelled' against you, that now he considers himself all grown up, and might have changed a lot... but I just hope that he's still the caring person I KNOW he was with you.
    I'm sorry that I didn't call you, but I just didn't have the guts and I didn't want to make things get complicated or appear to be something that was not...
    Well, something that I always hope is that you are still close with Him. (I remember the phrase you used to say to me).
    You know, I'd really be happy to go visit you someday and be of help to you and the girls. (But I do realize that it might be too much and unnecessary)
    Well, I'll be waiting for the right time to contact you.
    GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.


Friday, May 16, 2008