So, the garden center brings in some interesting old ladies.
Today alone:
This old italian lady was looking at Geraniums. Of course she has to pick out the color that we only have one left of out front.
Me: hello, can I help you find anything?
Little Old Lady: "i'm looking for geraniums, mumble mumble mumble, pink."
Me: (knowing by now that i have to speak loudly) I can check to see if we have more of that color in the back. How many would you like?
Little Old Lady: "how much does this cost?"
Me: it's 3.49 for one, or 4 for 12.00. Did you want me to look in the back?
Little Old Lady: (insert look of death) I want mumble mumble pink geranium.
Me: I could look in the back if you would like me too. You want this color, right? (pointing....)
Little Old Lady: Well, I'll mumble mumble mumble horrible accent mumble pink geranium.
Me: Um.... I'll be right back.
So I go to that back, and find the pink geraniums. I guess that she'll want 3. I come back to the front. Where's the little old lady? I put the geraniums on the check out table, and just cash other customers out.
Finally, Little Old Lady comes around the corner.
Me: oh, there's the pink geraniums you asked for, ma'am.
Little Old Lady: how much are these?
Me; It's 4 for 12.00.
Little Old Lady: I think I'll take these other ones to put mumble mumble sunlight.
Me: You don't want the pink ones?
Little Old Lady: How much are these?
Me: 4 for 12.00
Little Old Lady: Oh.
Me: That'll be 12.99
Little old lady: uh. that's mumble mumble too expensive. You can't make them cheaper?
Me: ummm.... it's 12.99 with the tax.
Little old lady: Everything is too expensive here, mumble mumble about to cry mumble. (walk away to your car mumbling with the flowers.... and correct change).
later this afternoon: (I will shorten this for you....)
Guy in his 70's: I guess I'm late buying tomatoes, huh.
Me: yeah, we're almost sold out of them.
Guy in his 70's: Well, I just had, well... when you've just finished surgery a week ago, it's hard to get out and buy vegetables. I just had my second operation, and people are shoked that I'm done up and moving already, but I'm a really active person, and I love to run. You know, my wife asked the doctor because she knows me, what my limits are. He said that I'd know. So I was out walking, where I live, between the 531 and Ogden Center on Union Street, and I decided to start running instead. Wow, I learned my limit fast, and when I got back I was in pain and looked at ... oh, I had prostate surgery, and well, i had.... there was a lot of blood.
Me: Wow... that must have been painful..... (thinking... ummmmmmmm... what is going on here?)
Guy in his 70's: So anyway, I ended up switching doctors and decided to have the new guy give me an exam, you know... to check for more cancer, and he checked and found another tumor, but we caught it fast, and got rid of it. So I brought in the Readers Digest article I had read years ago, and told him what procedure I wanted. He read the article and said that that was the right choice.
(starts to walk away...)
So, I just love planting vegetables, since well, if you're retired and don't have a large family.. you have to find some hobbies. I refuse to be one of those bed-ridden old retired people.
Me: Wow, good for you. I'm glad you found something you enjoy.
Guy in his 70's: Yeah, well my wife kills everything she plants so I guess I have to be the one to buy tomatoes.
Me: oh, right... well, you have a good day.
Lady who looks 50, but is trying to look 35: Oh, I'm so glad you have Lobelia! I've been looking everywhere.
Me: Yeah, we have a lot of strange plants that othere stores don't carry.
Lady: Oh, what time is it? I've got to pick up my baby.
Me: 5:07. A baby, huh? How old is she?
Lady: She's 5. I call them babies until their seven. She's not actually mine, she's my daughters, but I have custody of her and the little one, because she has no brain in her head. She's useless as a mother. And she's having another kid! Can you believe it?
Me: wow, really?
Lady: Yeah. I spend more time in family court than at home, you know? And it's not like I can even work because I have a muscle disease. I don't start feeling good until everyone's about to go to bed. Yeah, I have fibrosis, and it's just so hard to raise little kids, you know? I mean, I'm getting tired. I already raised three of my own, and she just has no respect. What is she going to do if I die? I mean, fibrosis is a serious condition.
Me: well, thank God the kids have someone like you to look after them!
Lady: Well, I just had to start sending them to day care, because there was nothing I could do. They just take so much energy. But then this morning the little one woke me up begging to go to day care, so I felt a lot less guilty.
Me: oh, wow. well at least she likes it. That'll be 61.88.
Lady: Jesus, what did I buy? My husband's going to kill me. Oh well, if he only knew how much I spent on his boose.
Me: ha.
Well, you have a great day! I don't want to be late....
Me: (then why did you spend 15 minutes telling me your life story?) Ok, take care! | 
