最近的生活.......稱不上很好,但也不是不好.病情brought 新進展,比我預期的 recovered 得快多了.而且再沒有消瘦,卻是肥胖多了!比起連飲一包250ML的milk 也要分開數次才能飲完,現在的我強了更多呢~開始restrain自己 不再purge.雖然仍然承受著emotion困擾!!只是欠缺些少positive attitude去對待每一件事..   學校方面也開始習慣,置身在一所差的school,面對一班(知人口面,不知心的chassmates,一群教學質素其差的老師) 在abominable condition下學習,想要成功就得reply on 自己..   大概最令我compunctious是失去了一班陪伴我走過很多個日子的友人,可能也如別人所說的 ( 友誼變質是一定的,過期也是一定的,然後習慣了以後,才發現原來it doesn't a matter!.) 朋友也許是生命中的過客,那有像歌詞說的 (朋友,我當你一世朋友) 另外放心好了, 我跟我粒丸 的感情很好   

around 20 days later exam will be start, but i dont prepare for it. what i am doing? aw, if you were me, you know that how much pain i feel. face much problems, that i dont know how to handle it well. exam is coming soon, i cant pay attention at study. finally, i pass up the treatment, also i gained weight. i dont fast,diet anymore but i tried to eat normally! i tried to enjoy food with my friends and family! food do delicious!although i really want to be skinny, i have no idea to do anything! me and my pretty sister intend working aborad!sister<3 i want to apologize to you, but dont worry everthing will be ok! sometime, i feel upset but no one understands me.. i always lost hope... i wanna take drugs!


 
lol... i wanna eat!
btw, i like to design anything!

well, do you miss your childhood?i love broad grin on their face,their foolish behavior, careless days, do what you wanna to do, crying without any reason.full of curiosity,etc.

time went by,i have been studying in new school for  two months.during this period,i learnt FUCK ALL,yeah i am so serious. i dont joking!its a private education. teacher eager not enough to teach us.classmates are immature. they always so proud of their ridiculous conduct.they trifled away the whole term.teacher not nice at all! classmates are too noisy and bother who are pay attention at the class.they do are selfish.how terrible! it seems that my life is just made up of troubles, i always ask myself'what do you live for now that your life is full of  all kind of troubles" i see no future of me,and i dont have courage to think about my tomorrow. i read a poem:

i asked for strength
and god gave me difficulties to make me strong
i asked foe wishom
and god gave me problems to solve
i asked for courage
and god gave danger to overcome
i asked for love
and  god gave me troubled people to help
i received nothing i wanted
i received everything i needed

if you would go up high,then use your own legs.the nature filled with mystery.all of them are interesting.for example,hutterfly could fly after broken its cocoon.but if you cut the cocoon, it also can fly? everything is in rule.so maybe we must pay something if we want to get something.that means nothing is free of charage.getting means losing. its an eternal  truth.we aleays complain how much we lost.but have you ever thought you have got something?they are the same.from we were born,we are using everything of us to build up our life no matter we love it or not.do you think  its valuable? in my view,thats the life.thats the beautiful life.so dream away your life,everyday is a new day the needs us to make the miracle and leave the fruit of labor.everything needs us to do our best.so just doing it in happy not only indoing your favorite things bit also your homework.when you get up tell yourself that there is a new day.smile to everyone you know when you meet. do your work positively.then you will find the world become lovely and warm like the sun un spring.and that will take your friends happy,so ,using your warm heart will change your own life.like butterfly's wing,your life will be colorful by your struggle even though they are terrible.sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.if god allowed us go thriugh our life without any obstacles,it would cripple us. we would not be as strong as what we could have been.

everything  said by writer is easy, handle it well is problem!

girl<3 stay strong!

Let us complain less and give more!

If you think you are unhappy, look at them

If you think your salary is low, how about her?

If you think you don't have many friends...

When you feel like giving up, think of this man

If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?

If you complain your transport system, how about them?

If your society is unfair to you, how about her?

Enjoy life how it is and as it comes
Things are worse for others and is a lot better for us J

There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those...  

are you still complaining? observe around you and be thankful for all that you have in this transitory lifetime.we are fortunate,we have much more than what we need to be content. lets try not to feed thisendless cycle of consumerism and immorality in which this' moderm and advanced' sociaty forgets and ignores the other two thirds of our brothers and sisters?   i want you to tell me what is your feelings about that?  do you still not satisfied with your school work,the living environment?people  grumbled their parents not care enough them, not pocket money enough to spend,wealth insufficient to go shopping,wanna buy the up-to-date mobile phone or famous band, fashionable clothes or purse,etc! sometimes,i am the one of them.. i do genuine ashamed of myself!



stay strong !

hello,if you were the girl in this picture, how do you think or feel? do  you  feel so proud of  yourself for being the most skinny in the world or its a  satirical picture. and its just irony of us who have ED!tell me what you think about that. how do you feel when you look at the picture? or there was no expression on your face and say immediately ( dont blame everyone ,because you ask ifor it!)  yeah. i do understand what is eating disorder because i am  one of them!  i have been yelled by my parents for not eating and the major problem is that; they never support me or attempt to comprehend me! also we always dispute about that.it influence our relationship between me and my family! CRAP

stay strong!

 
i wanna be a useful and out-going person