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| My Sister BowYee's WeddingThe first in my nuclear family to get married. I am elated still after an exhausting day that began at 9am... but before I unmask the gunk on my face and virginize my hair from toxins and chemicals...I wanted to share this moment before I melt down. Our family is so proud. Our family is just so honored. We are so very glad to see the eldest in the family in her radiance in her way... get married at her own time to a wonderful man that loves and respects her. The wedding was charming with the backdrop of the bay in a intimate setting... well over 400+ guests YEESH! But the day officially started with the tea ceremony and my dad choking up. This surprised everyone, we didn't see it coming but as Paul (brother in law) walked over to share a moment with my dad... my dad in his usual reprimanding tone bluntly told Paul to better take good care of his daughter. Paul's reply was, "Wow, you are already scolding me." But in my dad's sense it was purely out of unwillingness to see his little girl go and throwing some alpha male prowess over Paul so that he will know better than to mess with his daughter. We had tea ceremony at both ends of the family. It was a magical night. Tiring but joyous as the dinner banquet required so much of toasting and thanking.
My brother gave a surprise speech that got my sister teary eyed and I did my speech that was cut short by my dad's nagging. But all is well. Seeing family and friends and the laughter of my sister as she received compliment after compliment about how beautiful she looked and how happy they were for her. Wedding are so interesting ... like a temporary suspension of reality. Away from harm, negativity, and all that is ordinary into a day with sparkles glittered into the air and laughter filling your hearts and long lost faces reappearing to confirm their love and loyalty to you.
check the fotos.. wooda blogged more but my eyelids are weighing down on me-1:10am. Love and Peace to the world. And may God bless my sister and my new brother-in-law to a lifetime filled with sharing and loving in all the ways that encompass the variables of such a powerful force.
love, love, love, and more love to give.
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| brace your heartI've found stillness in my heart tonight. Its nice this solemness to reflect. Two weeks ago was my sister's bridal shower and today ended with Angie's baby shower. I put on both events because both these people are one of the most important and influential women in my life. Additionally, last week my beloved and highly respected Peace and Dignity Journeys runners arrived to San Francisco after having run for 3 or is it 4 months already?
My sister's shower was not lacking in surprises. It turned out wonderfully well... and yes surprisingly well. It turned out to be the first intimate bonding session for me and a bunch of my girl cousins. If you don't or haven't seen in this blog... my ginanamous family ... we hit a baby boom in 2000 and man i tell a simple birthday dinner for one member means over 60 people showing up sometimes! Anyway, the ambiance of being in the tranquil beach home of Half Moon Bay definitely added to the serenity. I for the first time heard and talked with my cousins about real family transformations that on family events aren't typically talked about. You know family always has drama... deaths, remarriage, kids... growing up and growing together with our parents. I have to say that my brother, sister, and I have really grown up and learned to embrace family time. We are a not so unusual LOUD and rambunctious family but we are also very united. My bro, sis, and I are always looking out for our parents best interest. And family time is always a gooey good feeling even if its only going home and to eat and sleep all weekend long.
My Peace and Dignity Journeys family in San Francisco. I addressed something with one of the members that I've kept in the closet for a long time. Saw many familiar faces from the initiation ceremony that have treaded the lands and still unable to fathom the complexity of their journeys. I can't wait til October so that I can join them in the run. My heart, my soul, my heart, my soul.
My actual day to day life has been a juggling act in itself. Managing full time work, danza, school, fulbright grant proposal, running, equity fellowship writing, dance therapy, developing child play group organization with my homegirls, and a new potential internship that'll lead me to a new intersection in life. Its manageable but hardly. I know that once I get to September life can downshift. For now, this soldier in bondage will just have to march on.
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| do i stay or do i goI don't remember ever having to debate so much as i have now. I walked around the lake w/ my everdearest supervisor fighting breast cancer and she's made me realize how promising it is if I stayed with my job and finish grad school first and then do what I need to. She stirred up so much counter opinion to what my emotions and passion had steered me towards that now I am taking a step back and considering the goods of staying behind and only committing myself to the run for 1.25 months as opposed to 3.5 months of running. There is a lot more realistically that would be in my advantage. If I stayed I can be there for my sister's wedding and for my cousin's, begin a new chapter of my career, instead of taking 2 quarters off grad school only 1 quarter off, my parents will not fret b/c I will still have a job, reduce the risk of fracturing my sprained ankle. These are are valid and logical reasons of why I should stay and only do the run being involved but not immersed. But the passion and commitment I have towards the run is beyond all the above. The only hinderance is the physical reality of my ankle. I don't feel like I would be being true to myself if I only run for a month and came back to everything else in place for me. Like my dear friend Arel said I am looking for that same transformative euphoric feeling that captured me many many years ago. And all these years, I'm still hungry and hunting for it thats why the yearning is always existent. But he is right in the the same beauty of God can be found in anywhere and in anyone and in anyplace. Yet, its still not enough for me to accept. I still cling on to the same concepts of getting there and finding Him. I miss living off the bare earth, seeing life and beauty of poor villages, being recieved by these communities that I'll be able to meet, struggle with my patience and quick judgements of others, and to give. Yes, in the nature of my work and the life you lead... you are giving just not in the same way-Arel is right. My way of giving back to this "way" that introduced me to life and humility I'm still contributing in other forms but I still feel like I won't have closure until I give back directly for myself to see that I've grown and although it won't even be with the same people it'll be within the same tradition. I am way too emotional to look at this decision needing to be made from a clear mind.. is not happening. | | |
| burning bridges and crossing crossroads in life I've got more than "quite a few things on my mind" right now. These past weeks, I've been waiting for a definite response from my work re my request for a 4 month leave of absence. In the meanwhile, I was pulling strings and trying to find coverage for my position which I did. But policies and protols are always valued more than the human need. That is the bottom line. God has aligned many things in my life to lead me to the Peace and Dignity Journeys 2008 run therefore, not my physical ailment nor the lost of a promising career is going to hinder that from happening for me. I am committed to running from California down Panama or as far as God and my sprained ankle will permit me. My trip to Arizona for the initiation meeting for all the core runners of Peace and Dignity Journeys was reaffirming in that I felt sure in my heart that this journey is what I am meant to do. I am meant to do this even if it breaks me. In the temezcal ceremonies and in the prayers I was able to flush out all that I needed to get out of the journey and what the expectations are of our fellow brothers and sisters who are all about to embark on this painful yet beautiful journey together in the spirit of healing and unity. Undoubtedly, this is going to change my life in unimaginable ways. The shoe finally fit but it took over 7 years. In doing this many bridges will be burnt but this crossing needs to happen and its not for me, its me for Him. | | |
| momentous ObamaOh Yes, Obama's rhetoric has caught my appeal as well. All eyes on Wisconsin today for the open primaries. I'd like California to have open primaries as well... it so much less restrictive. As i'm in the library of my new campus that I've never explored during the day CSU East Bay... just procrastinating the day away. Not so much, the more I'm delving into policy the harder I find it to be very liberal about my politics. Simply because the fuken system is so THICKand KNOTTY! There is a lot more to change than I'd naively expected. It is very easy to gloat about radical approaches in other places and in other time periods. But now as I'm trying to do the deed, it asks that I mitigate my insanity. And I say this true for Obama who too has little time in the political area flushed with hope and inspiration. I know i'm comparing myself to a big figure but we are still humans and I really doubt that Obama can possibly accomplish 10% of what he says he can when he delves deeper into our bureaucratic system. Regardless, I am still a dreamer and although I don't entirely believe...I'll vote.
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