| | My mind was static...and even now it's just slow~ I still remember whenever I've that it's not a good sign as a performer. That means not open, forward, let-go, relax, not musical....and above all it's the fear that cuased the 'failure' in today's solos in orchestra rehearsal. Although I'm not supposed to be on that Principal seat this concert and perhaps I shouldn't allow that to distract any attention of total focus to my solo and accom recital...this Sat and Oct 20, BUT no excuse, it's beautiful music, and it's my job to do it, and not just do it----do it well! Lots of preparation from now on without carelessness....although that means my time management must be really well adjusted, but perhaps there isn't another choice at the moment. When I feel no choice....or have to do one thing, why don't I enjoy it. Also, I seem to have the old habit of 'panic' back to life, even after my new growth in the summer......no I need to overcome it, it's like overcoming any traumatic feelings you've....and after all it's music, it's a song, it's a speech, no more fear please Yu Ka Wai!!!
Now, time to get some good meal and then get ready to play in Faye's dress rehearsal. Every second is precious, no regret, no worry. It's the world of hope if you're willing to face the truth. But if you prefer to stay in the 'safety dream world' you can, but you'll never really enjoy the beauty after taking risks(no matter 'successful' or not it may seem).
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| | Posted 9/24/2008 6:36 PM - 2 views - 0 comments
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