yumisbored's Xanga

Monday, May 14, 2007

Mon, 14 May 2007 06:32:12 GMT

i'm working hard not to do the same mistake again..i'm taking it slower this time..i like him (as a person) coz he's nice..sweet and all but not enough to be in a relationship with him just yet..(plus he hasn't told me anything about his feelings so i can't and i dont want to assume things)..and i'm too scared to invest some feelings coz i might end up getting hurt again..so i gotta protect myself..but i do enjoy his company..he's easy to get along with..a gentleman and funny in a way..but it's still early to tell..there are lots of things to consider and im not sure if i want to be with someone or continue living the single life..anyway..i'm talking way ahead..so right now..im just gonna know him better and i'll see it from there..

Monday, May 07, 2007

Mon, 07 May 2007 04:38:12 GMT

all men are the same..

all the same..

*sigh*

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 05:52:58 GMT

raarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....so many things goin on my mind..and no..it's not coz of the ex again..i dunno..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..i knew i shudnt have done that..grrrrrrrrrrrr...i just want to get this thing over with......i feel like im breaking out again!! just when my lesions are getting better (psoriasis)..i feel like a new batch is coming up..NOOOOOO..not again! im tooo fucken stressed out...the acupuncture doesnt help much anymore.....i need to relax!!! i need to breath!! i need to vent!! i need help!! gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...FCUK!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 01:46:45 GMT

Gusto kong malaman mo
Na masaya ako ng ganito
Malayo sa drama, malayo sa luha
Malayo sa sakit na dulot mo

Sawa na akong umiyak
Sawa na akong mang-amo
Sawa na akong magpakumbaba
Sawa na kong magpakagago

Wag mo kong akusahan na meron ng iba
Dahil sadyang nalimutan na lng kita
Wag mo kong sabihan ng masasakit na salita
Wala kang karapatan na ako'y saktan pa

Tama ding natapos na ang paglolokohan
Dahil ako lng din naman ang nasasaktan
Oras ng mamulat sa katotohanan
Na tayong dalawa'y walang patutunguhan

Wala akong galit na nararamdaman
Namanhid ng sakit dulot ng kabiguan
At kung ako man ay 'yong pinaglaruan
D na mahalaga, d na kelangang malaman pa

Tanging iiwan sa alaala ang saya
Itatapon ang kapaitang aking nadama
Sana sa piling nya, ikaw ay maligaya
Minahal kita, naging masaya ngunit ngayo'y paalam na..

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 05:57:48 GMT

"NEVER let someone be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option"

i read that at a friend's page and thought it was nice..i should keep telling that to myself..
i also need to stop saying "i'll do this or do that" coz i end up not doing it anyways..so from now on i'll TRY not to say anything (coz i might end up eating my words AGAIN) and just do it (i mean REALLY do it).

and yup..still waiting for that good man to come along..im still young and really not in a hurry..i know i'll meet plenty of guys out there who'll treat me better (and who i'll treat better) hahaha!

o wow

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 03:54:57 GMT

it's been over a year since i last wrote here.. a lot of things already happened..i graduated from hs..i started college at swc..a semester to go and i'll be off to sdsu for my bsn then msn..i had my first bf here in the US..and i had my first heart break..the sole reason why im writing is that i just can't take it anymore..the pain im feeling right now is just unexplainable..fyi it's already been 3 or 4 mos. since we broke up but everytime i try to move on, i just find myself goin back to square one..i dunno what's wrong with me..im usually tough..i usually don't care..i usually test the water before diving in..i usually just focus my mind so i wont have to think about it but this time it's different..maybe it's love..or maybe it's my pride..love, coz it hurts me soo much not to be with him..or pride coz i know that i didn't totally get him and that he already moved on and im fucken stuck in this shit hole..i am pissed that while he's making lambing with his gf in the phil (i guess i am that bad of a gf coz he'd rather go out with someone who he would rarely/never see than sm1 who's already in front of his face.ouch.super.)..i'm putting myself down but the funny thing is..that despite of all that..i still want to be there for him..i still want to be a friend whom he can run to when he's in pain..pretty stupid huh? yea i know it's my fault..i shudn't have let it come this far..i shudn't have let the situation get out of hand..but it just hurts a lot..i mean a lot..i may be smiling or laughing when im with my friends.. but everytime i go home..i cry..or i feel like there's some pain in my throat..i just want to get this feeling over with..what shud i do? find another guy? but i dont want that..i dont want to hurt another guy for the sake of forgetting the other guy..i don't regret anything though..i will never regret something that once made me smile..i will continue to love coz i know there's a right guy for me out there..the one who will hurt me but will be worth all the pain..the one who'll value me..the one who'll see my worth..the one who'll be content..the one who'll appreciate me for who i am and the one who would be proud and would never take me for granted..the one who'll say "your mine" and will do things to keep me..the one who won't easily give up..the one who'll continue to hold on despite the hurdles that we face..the one who i'll be really confident enough to say "he loves me"..the one who i'll get an assurance from that the relationship is not just one of his games..the one who'll love me equally or even more..the one who wont make me feel that i'm just a past time..an underdog..the last in line..but i guess next time..i will take more caution and i will be smarter..i have learned from my mistakes..never again will i let myself be this low..never again will i lower my guards and never again will i allow anyone to give me this kind of excruciating pain..

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 03:33:32 GMT

i really had fun today..my co-club members and i (lani.pam,.gelsey.michelle and ha)..went to the "challenge air" in el cajon for a volunteer thingy..the event is about helping physically/mentally (and so on) disabled kids in boarding aeroplanes (4 sitter planes) that'll take them up in the sky (of course..that's what planes do)..anyway..we did different things and took a lot of pictures..here are the links if you want to check them out..

http://photos.yahoo.com/thisisyumssn
http://photos.yahoo.com/p_lugue
http://photos.yahoo.com/lani000006

Monday, February 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 02:05:44 GMT

I AM SOOOO EFFING PISSED THAT I JUST WANT TO CRY!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE INDEED IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNFAIR!!!!!!!

i need to:
1. get my license SOON
2. go look for a new job
3. have a life
4. well have a life w/o my sister's company
5. and so much more

adofghjoeoreijpgkojfdpgkojdfpgkfjpvkmfkmv...fcuk!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 01:23:14 GMT

mm..im beginning to have "senioritis"..i wake up every morning wishing the day would end..im too lazy to study and do my work..i have enough of highschool..i have a strong need to move on..but what can i do..i need to get a us hs diploma..haha..meaning i am stuck in this situation for another 4 months..haha..what am i saying..why am i complaining..it was partly my fault anyway why im in this position right now..hay..why do i keep on contradicting myself?

mm..we went to a car race in qualcomm stadium earlier..it was ok..there were police cars racing too..that was funny..one of my friend's friend wanted to race but the guy who challenged him chickened out..hahaha..then after we just went to popeye's to eat then went home..

i was talking to a friend and it felt good..just when i thought i was right..my friend had proven me wrong...i learned things that i havent thought of before..and that's a good thing..i really like talking to people..talking to people opens my mind to new things..it's not wrong to keep an open mind..as long as you don't allow them to put trash in it..it doesn't necessarily mean that you'll do what they say..that you'll accept what you think is ethically wrong but it's all about being more tolerant of other people's views and being open to new experience..you can always try to listen to other people's view, change if you have to, but never (or at least try not to) compromise the truth..coz remember..the truth will always set you free!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 01:22:49 GMT

WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahaha..i passed my senior portfolio exhibition!! i am going to graduate!! (again)..my one sleepless night paid off (i was cramming to finish my speech and visuals)..hahahaha..eniwei..i got a lil nervous but when i started talking i felt more confident..it went by smoothly..the panelists were really nice..i think my speech was long..that's why they only asked me 2 questions..i am really happy!! and i got a favorable score on my bio final considering that i wasn't able to review for that exam..hayyyy..life's good!