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yummytapioca
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Name: Knock
Country: Vanuatu
Birthday: 10/25/1900
Gender: Female
Interests: Simplicity & Contentment
Expertise: Secret.. ShHhHh...
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/22/2002
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| yes, things are falling into place. is this an awesome week because i thought it was and i was determine before the week started it was going to turn out wicked?! oh wells, dont care for the questions, im just 'tres contente'. im getting the 'right' people back into my life. some people think i take but really its just cuz they aren't giving sooo im just gonna be more drawn to the easily giving people i.e. people on the same page as me. oklah, i cant wait to start working if i know someone at the same place. and i can still keep my old store. i'll definitely be more involved in other ppl's lives, people i truly enjoy. i'm getting things to fit muhaha. im so excited. i'm gonna be productive AND i KNOW things will change quickly for many of us in a few months. I cant wait.. or i mean i CAN wait hehe. okay, finish essay, start outlines, training tomorrrow night, friday meeting, interview, 2nd application? there is a magnetic pull where is it coming from?!!! sleepy, ate too much hahah yummy green tea ice cream!
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| good week for scorpiosso my student tells me its a good week for Scorpios. Its gonna be a good lucky week something about the cherry blooms that might be a metaphor. what ever it means i believe it. i realized i shouldnt have been so excited about 'life' cuz then i get this slow downward spiral of feelings where i need be 'think' and do reality checks and make more plans etc. its been good talkin to more of positive buds in my life. talkin on the phone isnt so bad haha. hmm.. i KNOW i will get more jobs this week. Hopefully the office job AND the restaurant job. So then I'd be left with a few hours at Ohlone and a few hours at starbucks a week. I'm back in super workaholic mood. I can feel it. it'll be good cuz i want time to go fast so i can start my new more independent life! grr i'm still nervous about my admission essay but its nice someone today i hung out with at school mentioned that its actually pretty easy. hehe i'm just making more of a big deal. but hmm.. lets see hopefully take the kids to bowling tomorrow! =) i can do it. i felt lazy today cuz i was just watching TMZ and American Idol but its okay cuz i had some family time. BUT i need to remember to be good, gotta get super started on my senior paper. Similar to the the little engine the could, " i can do it!" i just feel it, its all happening and coming into place. Make it happen. I need another beach day and a hug! haha
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| Fate. All the signs are coming together. I don't even have to try too hard. I'm so excited. It funny how I can find a 'high' from nerdy stuff like grad school. Things are snowballing for me right now. I shouldn't be procrastinating on my paper for International Studies though(but after two years of studying it, Linguistics is easily more interesting), but if I wasn't procrastinating I wouldn't have gone in depth with my research about my grad program. I KNOW I am going to be accepted. I understand when people say how in life you just KNOW certain things will happen the way it is suppose to. I don't understand how this feeling came about and I may not be able to explain it but I just KNOW things are suppose to work out this way; fate. I guess I can maybe one day apply this feeling towards a particular person (i.e. my furture husband) so I can one day use the Hollywood line "I just knew he was the one" haha okay off topic. I must let it all out, as Tiffy often says, don't fight it, and I am so happy I am not going to fight it. I shall allow my fingers to do the expressing at this point.
There is a reason I RANDOMLY applied to this school WAY back in Maryland. There is a reason why I visual myself at this school but I HAVE NEVER visited the campus! There is a reason why the advisor of this wonderful department is so similar to me and her areas of expertise and all her research are ones that I am fascinated with! There is a reason for all of this coming together like a nice round circle. Wow, this is definitely a very energetic feelings. I'm jumping up and down inside. I feel like an adult in a sense cuz I'm heading in the right direction now! I am do this. My accidental fortune telling is coming true. (I'll give myself credit for completing it later hehe). I can't wait to meet with the advisor and I can wait to complete my application and start living in my independent academically exciting environment! AHh oklah, back to tedious research papaers, but then again its not really boring, I'm just too eager for my future, the topic actually is very interesting soo i can do this! WOOSSSAAA, focus. I can do this. I am balancing and budgeting. I can do this. Nothing is getting in my way. WWWWEEEE!!! Ok, yes, high off life. *phew*
... but be good shasha, get your stuff done! prioritize! get it straight, finish your work on time and be financially ready! reminders are good...
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| she wants whats best for me...i know she is frustrated with my decisions because she wants what is best for me. but she tells me to think things through but the things she says doesnt sound like she thought through her opinions of me. i need to keep a distance thats the best for our relationship. i need to remember its the right thing to do. i have to start saving, which means back to a third job i.e. night life bartending ending work at 3am etc. oh wells, as long as im outta the house ill keep everyone happy. my life is so backwards. she wants me around but then again she wants me to work a lot which means i wouldnt be around the house! argh, i ll just get an income and share it with her (something i have to remember to do) and then she wont worry as much. tsk tsk. hmm.. so much to say but someone stops me from wanting to put it out in the public, guess its just a personality quirk.
i gotta get back to calculating. im learning to be an adult. im thinking there are gonna be A LOT of spreadsheet 'to do' lists in my life time starting from now on haha. it is the decision i made. things always work out. i can go to any country i want, i shouldnt have this feeling i need to stay in one country just because having more than one citizenship is convenient. i can live with one for now! argh, it really cant be that hard to find a job here or even a guy to marry for citizenship!jk the things she complicates are things i dont worry about but then i supposed to worry about those things cuz she is the adult? and it's an adult thing to do? anyhoo...
truthfully, i need to figure out if im just running away from my problems. darn it. i keep changing my mind. i'm tempted. i always do this. AHH! its so hard to stick to one, i guess it would be cuz the person living in next room is frightening, pretty much she'll remind me everyday that im making the wrong decision. argh ya i know i shouldnt stress, like the commericals say ' wanna get away?' i just need to move away. *sigh* its time to be the adult i know i already am.
Cali or China. grrrrrrrrr... zhen mo ban ???
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| School: I love it. "You go to school so you can get a better job". I'm going to school because I love it for many reasons. I need to remember I have an international humanitarian goal in life that my parents dont understand. they'll worry about my future salaries. I need to complete my school and I have another year and a half. Its do-able. I'll have my safety certificate. Then I'll run off again traveling the world. I can't wait. I m so impatient all the time. Oh wells, I enjoy getting this kind of high and happiness from a self discovered activity and passion. Argh night classes are hard, 4 hours in a classroom .. booo.. but after my 20 page paper and then im outtie! One week at a time, and so cal here I come! Visualize, it WILL work. :)
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