they say that when you leave, you should be leaving as if you are about to die. Leave knowing you have no attachments, make sure you desire nothing from here...

i'm failing...

But it is interesting. The help i am receiving in order to get prepared, it makes sense, yet i wish it wasnt this way.

I am leaving with no one closest to me present to cherish my leave. life is just full of interesting scenarios. Allah... you really test us, and many a times, we fail...

I feel alone. I am going to leave and be alone. The past few weeks, nothing has been going right for me at all. The only thing i look forward to is this pilgrimage. The only thing. Interesting enough how departing to go is also something i wish not to face.

No close family to say goodbye to. The closest already leaving before I can leave.

I thought that when you are about to go through "big" changes in your life, you'd atleast have your family and closest friends there to support you. In a way, it is a desire and attachment of this world. To have them there and wave goodbye to you as you make the steps to depart to the biggest thing this life has to offer your life.

Yet, yet i won't have that. Is this a test? I feel myself failing it. I desire/want my family/friends there. I want to know i leave with people who care for me and actually are there to say goodbye.

I need to get over it huh?

I guess it is time to grow up a little more. Grow up by killing a little more of the desires i wish to have in this world. Grow up and smell reality.

...

things to do...

1) Make Liability form for Imax trip

2) Make IMAX/AAB Flyer

3) Make MAF Flyer

4) Call People Up for MAF

5) Call People for IMAX

6) Buy Tickets for IMAX - Friday Night

7) Make Ping Pong Tournament Flyer

8) Get Ready for Young Kid's Quiz

9) Search Online for Deep Sea Fishing

10) Make Deep Sea Fishing Flyer (if approved)

11) Make Deep Sea Fishing Write-up

12) Make New Discussion Group Write-up  (edit if received by youth member)

13) Get List of Books for ABC to choose From (type it up)

14) Print Out Flyers for IMAX/AAB, MAF

15) Print out Registration forms for Ping pong Tournament

16) Print out Liability forms for IMAX

17) Work on Powerpoint for ABC first Book (present to community?)

18) Make Swimming Flyer

19) Get Bulletin Boards up FINALLY!

20 ) Read ABC Chapter 5 and get snacks (Friday)

21) Meeting Friday Noonish

22) Make Forms for "Are you willing to host?" Events (and what you have... pool, etc)

23) Print Forms for "Host" Events

24) Study for Psychology Exam

25) Study for Anatomy and Physiology Exam

26) Study for Organic Exam

27) Kill Myself If I dont Get All these Done.... peace!

what is the difference between a culture and society? like what is the difference between a cultural ideology and that of a society's ideology?

How do they relate to a Human ideology and that of a Class ideology? are they roots from one or both?

Gosh... ... .... i have too much time. I need to get married. Maybe then i'll be told to stop doing things.

I got food poisoned, and what happens? i still do most of what i'm suppose to do. Gosh, shame on me, bad me,

so i caught a fly today with my hand. i never thought my skills from iran would ever work against an american fly. I thought iranian flyes were just slow. I guess no evolution occured between flies in iran and america... hahaha my random thought.... peace.

Hmm....

Somethign i was told tonight. It is important to try to become good. Try to look at the similarities between other peoples, and try to work for the unity.

We need to research our own faith more so that we realize how much others are missing out on. Not look at how to defend our own faith or how to attack other faiths. Our goal should be to cherish and realize.. just how grand and great what we have is.

Our actions need to speak louder than our words. OUR ACTIONS. gosh, what are these actions? what are they!? WHAT??? seems like so many don't know what they are. If we act "religous" like,  it is the awkward, weird, not right actions... what the? seriously, we need to define what actions we are talking about.

I remember giong to a church back in Ohio. Man, i soo remember how much fun i had there. They had their ceremony, and the singing, and all, and then they had this part where people shake adn hug eachother. It was just intersting. It really made me feel happy being there. This is only a little bit of what we call "actions".. but there is so much more to add, to our own faith especially. O wells...

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.