it's 1:50am ryt now.. don't feel lyk goin bed yet... felt like something's empty.. yea.. i get it.. i haven get contact wid him for..2days..kinda worried, but nvm though, everything will be awrite.. maybe he's havin fun der.. let it be..

dno y in a sudden i felt lyk blogging today, well maybe it was the others blogspot which my bestest-fwen introduced me.. it's kinda good to have such a 'bestestfwen' on net, although not reli dat good in reality, not even 'close fren', at least der's someone who i can chat to, and express to when im at home, bored stiff..

participated in some kinda xiaoshuo thingy, chinese one.. still dont have the idea of wat to write though.. coz it's such a short 1500words chinese compo and my original plan for d xiaoshuo is writing a thick book of millions words xiashuo.. i even haf a great story board in my mind.. argh~!!! but nvm, i'll write it too when im free.. but i dno when will i haf the guts to hold d pen and begin writin the first word of it.. haha.. it's hard to start ryt? no matter a story, a homework and of coz, a relationship too.. a great start makes up a great story..

anyone sees my future? wat im doin in d future? married wid a great husband and living happily wid my children while cleanin their shitz and wash the dishes? nah~ i dn wna be such a great mother and such a great ahmah for my family.. am i capable of takin good care of my family? erm.. i doubt it.. haha.. will i be a freelance writer for some magazines? dat's wat i wanted to be..but i dno.. thinking is oways easier than doing it.. haha.. and dat wont make a living i guess? obstetrics doctors? pediatrician? pharmacists? these are my old dreams.. im interested in the computer thingys too.. but im nt talented and dat makes me far too behind from d others.. electronics? boys ngam dat more.. see? i can do hard ones and also soft ones.. but god~!!! let me be a shao nai nai instead.. dat would be the easiest occupation on earth..u just hafta noe which outlets haf the latest dress, where the latest parties are goin on, which high teas are better, n learn how to count money.. dat's all.. ey~ money goes to the banks.. seee? it's easy...

im a weird person, i wna learn avthing, do avthing,  live on my own, do stuffs on my own, dont wna bother others, loves to be alone sometyms and loves to cry lots.. i always wanted to do lots lots stuffs but i jz dn haf the guts to..i wanted properly organized stuffs but life jz wldnt let me to.. life's strainin, pocket's empty, time's rushin, avthing just happened way too fast.. cant time slow down? erm.. come to think abt it, if im to be granted 3 wishes, wat will it be? erm.. tell ya again some other day.. time for beddie.. 3 and a half hour remainin for me to get my beauty sleep.. if sleepin makes a beauty, i'll be der sleepin for days, refusin to get up.. hahaha.. nyt to my beautiful world..

2:30am