zZmbahddeeZz's Xanga

Why do people act this way?

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:51:50 GMT

Okay. I have epilepsy. big deal. A few days ago I had oral surgery and I had 7 wisdom teeth out. Yup 7. Somehow I had acquired an extra set and when I was in surgery the doctor found another one hidden behind one of my extra teeth that didn't show up on the X-ray. I was under 3 anaesthetics. 1st one was nitrous oxide- laughing gas to basically stone me out. 2nd was the general anaesthetic- the one to knock me out completely. 3rd was a local anaesthetic to numb where the doctor was cutting- it might've been novocane but I don't know. The doctor took precautions, kept me monitored, even got clearance from my neurologist to give me the anaesthetics. BUT I am always at a higher risk to have a seizure right after being anaesthesized. Plus I had taken 3 pretty strong pain pills. Now, I had taken my medication that morning, but it's not the magic pill and I still had a seizure- tonic clonic- the kind where you make a strange noise such as a shriek or gasp, your eyes roll back, lose conciousness and then fall on the floor shaking like crazy, stop breathing for a bit, bite your tongue, etc. (btw, I have no recollection of any of this) My mom called 911 and I had to go to the hospital in an ambulance but luckily she caught me so I didn't have to be on a backboard with a neckbrace or get cat scans and more xrays at the hospital. This one lasted less than a minute and I didn't turn blue- MUCH milder than in August and October, which lasted 10-15 minutes each, and I had fallen on tile both times. A couple days later, my dad bumped in to a family friend at the store. She asked how I was- I had the October seizure in her house. My dad told her that I had surgery and a seizure, but the seizure was because of the anaesthesia- my neurologist CONFIRMED IT. Now, I babysat for this 'friend' for a little more than 3 years, and she used to live across the street but then they moved, and now I don't get to see them as often. And I can understand that she doesn't want me to babysit for her much anymore that I'm not right across the street and I'm sorry I had a seizure in her house, but there is NOTHING anyone can do if I get that headache to prevent a seizure from happening. Believe me, I'VE TRIED. And I know that she's not the type of person who just doesn't need a babysitter for several months. I don't mind not babysitting for her, but after I had a seizure in her house, she didn't even speak to me for several months. Now, from that, it's pretty obvious she has a problem with me having epilepsy. I'm sorry my neurological condition is inconvenient for her, but if she has a problem with it, she needs to deal with it or I don't think I we need to be friends.

I doubt that anyone reads this...if anyone does-- I've got a facebook now... once I figure out how to use it I'll poke you!

C'est la vie

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 01:45:40 GMT

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Chops" because that was the name of his dog And thats what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed a lot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine and signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Autumn" because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his siter got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed a lot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it

Once on a piece of paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it "Innocence: A Question" because that was the question about his girl And that's what it was all about And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her That was the year that Father Tracy died And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went And he caught his sister making out on the back porch And his mother and father never kissed or even talked And the little girl around the corner wore too much makeup That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do And at three A.M he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem And he called it "Absolutely Nothing" Because that's what it was really all about And he gave himself an A and a slash on each damned wrist And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Wed, 09 May 2007 00:38:53 GMT

To Life:

Why?

Eternally,

Maddie

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 19:57:48 GMT

This is an awsm song... I wonder if there will be schol tomorrow.. probably so. the streets look pretty good

Muñeca De Trapo- La Oreja De Van Gogh

Como esos cuadros que aun estan por colgar, Like the pictures still to hang
como el mantel de la cena de ayer.                   Like the tablecloth from dinner yesterday
Siempre esperando que te diga algo mas          Always hoping to tell you something more
y mis sentidas palabras no quieren volar.          But my felt words don't want to fly.

Lo nunca dicho se disuelve en te,                     What is never said dissolves in you
como el infiel dice “nunca lo haré”.                   Like the unfaithful says "I'll never do it"
Siento que estoy en una carcel de amor,           I feel like I'm in a carcel of love (idk what carcel is)
me olivdarás si no firmo mi declaración.            You'll forget me if I don't sign my statement

Me abrazaría al diablo sin dudar                       I would embrace the devil without doubt
Por ver tu cara al escucharme hablar.               To see your face listen to me speak
Eres todo lo que mas quiero                             You're all that I love most
Pero te pierdo en mi silencios.                           But I lose you in my silence
Mis ojos son dos cruces negras                         My eyes are two black crosses
Que no han hablado nunca claro.                      That have said nothing clear
Mi corazón lleno de pena                                  My heart is full of grief
Y yo muñeca de trapo                                      And I'm a rag doll

Cada silencio es un humilde quedar                     Each silence is humble to stay
detrás de mi sin parar de llorar.                           Behind me with endless crying
Quiero contarte lo que siento por ti                     I want to tell you what I feel for you
que lo escuchara la luna de enero mirandote a ti That I would listen to January's moon looking at you

Me abrazaría al diablo sin dudar
Por ver tu cara al escucharme hablar.
Eres todo lo que mas quiero
Pero te pierdo en mi silencios.
Mis ojos son dos cruces negras
Que no han hablado nunca claro.
Mi corazón lleno de pena
Y yo muñeca de trapo

No tengo miedo al fuego eterno                      I'm not afraid of the eternal fire
tampoco a sus cuentos amargos                      or your bitter stories
pero el silencio es algo frio                              but silence is cold
y mis inviernos son muy largos.                       and my winters are very long
Y a tu regreso estaré lejos                              And when you return I'll be far away
entre los versos de algún tango.                      Between the verses of some tango
Porque este corazón sincero                           Because this sincere heart
juro ser muñeca de trapo.                               Swears to be a rag doll

that was fun

HOOAH!

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 01:02:30 GMT

It may take you two minutes to read this, but if you do not take the time to read this you are one of the people this post is talking about.

You stay up for 16 hours

He stays up for days on end.
_________________________

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.

He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.

He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________

You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.

He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.

He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
__________________________

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.

He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
_________________________

You complain about how hot it is.

He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.

He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.

He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
__________________________

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.

He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.

He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.

He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
__________________________

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.

He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
__________________________

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.

He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet
__________________________

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.

He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
__________________________

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.

He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
__________________________

You see only what the media wants you to see.

He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.

He does exactly what he is told.
__________________________

You stay at home and watch TV.

He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
__________________________

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.

He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.
__________________________

You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.

If only there were more men like him
___________________________
If you support your troops, repost this with a "HOOAH!"

If you don't support your troops well, then don't repost, it's not like you know the men and women that are dying to preserve your right..

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 03:09:40 GMT

Merry Christmas everybody! Life's okay ish. I hate not being able to drive. I think according to Oklahoma law you have to be 6 mos seizure free, and it's only been 2 1/2 months... o well i guess it's just one less thing to worry about. Friday the 13th really is bad luck. FINALS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!! I got lots of cool stuff but i hate that i don't go to church anymore. I went to the same church for about 10 yrs n then quit freshman yr cuz of the problems.. Christmas is really overcomercialized. Maybe Nietchze was right... The "Christians" did kill God. I got some amazing stuff though. I actually asked for most of this stuff so yes I am a nerd and no my parents don't hate me lol... Spanish Dictionary (spanish- spanish) Bless Me, Ultima in Spanish and English and the SparkNotes. It's and awesome book. I'm reading it for the research paper but it rocks. A book of spanish nursery rhymes and stuff for four yr olds.. I don't care it rocks! 1001 most used words in spanish. If you haven't picked up on this I LOVE SPANISH!

Rob Parovanian is amazing.. I saw his video on youtube and he is so right Pachelbel Rant. I love it. Lost in Translation is really stupid. No plot. I had no idea wtf was going on. V for Vendetta is okay. I was kinda lost during it. Don't Fear the Reaper by BOC is awesome.

Pues, Feliz Navidad! ~Maddie

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:20:07 GMT

it happened again... EEG thursday... i cant get a license... dammit

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 14:41:44 GMT

yesterday, i spent about five hours in the emergency room. my parents heard a huge thud and then came running- i remember taking an ibuprofen because i was feeling really lightheaded and dizzy and then i came to and i was in a neckbrace in an ambulance. my mom told me they found me on the tile floor convulsing, pulling out my hair, and my tongue was lolling. a firetruck and an ambulance came. i was outside my house for about 15 minutes because they had trouble finding a vein- due to extreme dehydration, which might be why i passed out in the first place, and i spent about 10 minutes sitting in a car in the oklahoma heat. i had also had eaten only doughnuts for breakfast and had some mountain dew code red, and maybe 8 oz of water before i sat out in the car, so it was most likely a heat/ blood sugar/ caffeine relaited faint. luckily i have a hard head, so it doesn't hurt. at the hospital i had an iv, a cat scan of my head, a urine sample, blood work, blood pressure taken, and an xray. nothing was broken, i had a high heart rate due to the caffeine, and i didn't have a blood clot... so im fine

well, hope to see everyone at school!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 14:47:27 GMT

So, as of yesterday, i have lived in oklahoma for 13 years.

Today, i see pirates of the carribean 2 (hopefully!!!)!!

I cant believe school starts in one freaking week... wow, a week... 7 days... summer is basically over... o well

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:32:27 GMT

Orchestra
Pre AP Trig/Precalc
AP Spanish
Shakespeare-Zoology
Pre AP English III
AP Biology
US Hist

7th hr history, thats gonna suck