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| Been a long time..I've been through a lot since I last posted. Reading through my old posts I went down an old path of memories that I hadn't thought about in awhile. I guess it's nice to have a place to write. I wish I had kept up with it, that way I would have had more memories to remember. I am a senior now. It's scary because in a year I'll be thrown into a different kind of world. I'm growing up. With growing up comes some sort of an understanding and clearness about what you want in life and how you're going to achieve your goals. I want to be able to support myself and go to college. Teaching music is a life ambition of mine. When I get to college, that all might change, but I guess I'll think about that when I reach that point. Where am I going to college? Absolutley no idea. God will take me where he wants me to go. I have full trust in Him.
I recently got out of a relationship. Now that I look back, I was dumb to let it last as long as it did. I knew he was wanting to break free, I don't know what I was thinking. I also knew that deep in my heart I didn't love him. I gave my heart away along time ago and it was ridiculous for me to think that the relationship was going to last.
The guy who has my heart lives far away. I guess that's the reason why I'm not with him. Everytime I see him, which is hardley ever, my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest and I'm just going to explode with happiness. The only problem is afterward I know it won't work. All I have are the here-and-there memories of him stored away in my mind. I guess those memories will sustain me until..gosh..until something happens. I don't know what will happen. So far my life has been full of suprises. So I'm expecting the rest of my life to be no exception.
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| Wow..okay a whole freakin' lot has happened since I last posted.
Thursday after school, 4 of my friends Daniel, Darren, Tiffany and Amy
were in a car accident. They were going too fast around a curve,
and they swerved to hit another car, and their car flipped 4 times,
went flying through the air and hit a tree. When I first heard
about it, I was so scared. I thought I could be loosing 2 of my
best friends, Darren and Daniel. I was worried about the girls,
but I wasn't as close to them. As soon as I heard, I called Naito
(Darren's best friend, but a good friend of mine). No one had
even bothered to call him yet. So we pretty much rushed to
CMC. As soon as we got there I was pretty much going out of my
mind. We got there before they were even settled yet. The
doctors told us that Darren wasn't bad, he broke something in his
hand. Amy just hurt her back a little bit, Tiffany had to have
reconstructive surgery on her chin and she has some bruised
lungs. But Daniel was the one that was most hurt. When the
car crashed, his seatbelt damaged his intestines. He had to have
a part of his small intestine taken out. There are more damages
to his ab area too. Hes having surgery tomorrow, so I'm going to
go see him again today.
I finally saw Darren when the doctors fixed his hand. He had to
have his shirt cut, and there was blood all over his clothes. He
told me that it wasn't as bad as when the crash actually
happened. I started crying..I didn't realize how much he meant to
me until I almost lost him. Darren had just gotten his car too
last Saturday.
Anyway, I'm going to go and get ready and make a card for Darren and Daniel. I'll catch ya'll later 
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| Things have been sooo crazy these past few days..I don't know where
this week has gone, but it just flew by! I've been so busy doing
stuff. In Civics, we're doing a presidential
election. Mr. Dixon separated us into groups, and our team
decided I was to be the President, and Izzy was going to be the Vice
President. We have to look up topics such as the death sentence
and poverty. We also have to have solutions for each
problem. I have to give a 10 minute speech, and then I have to
have 5 minutes of questioning from the members of the "press"
which will be the rest of the class. I'm worried they're going to
make me look like a complete idiot up there. *leaves room for
sarcastic remark*
Anyway, a lot of things all of the sudden have happened this past
week..mostly bad. I don't understand how I can be so happy one
week, and then the next week an avalanche of bad things fall on my
head. Bleh..oh well..it will work out in the end.
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|  Just fill it out..won't hurt a bit!
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your xanga and see what I say about you?
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| I had a great birthday..got lots of cool things. Mom really made this birthday special for me. Lots of fun!
There was just this one thing though..something that I really wanted
but I didn't get. Its sad when you work up so much hope for just one
moment that when it doesn't happen, its your own fault.
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