|
zellbell05
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: mary Z.
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: carlisle
Birthday: 8/4/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: My lovelay main gals,SNOWBOARDING, soccer, my music, food, slut wrestling, late-night phone chats, good conversation, the beach, from first to last, funeral for a friend, ferris delicious smoothies, saosin, peter pan, poorman smores, poorman bowls, poorman shots, driveway fires, sleepovers, studying techniques with jess, burton apparel, dreams, abercrombie, books, third eye blind, american eagle, irish yaya sisterhood, smoothie-mix skittles, acoustic guitar, animal siteings in the country, sexay dirtbikes, subway, andy finch (pro snowboarder), the country, the used, autumn sunsets, the O.C., summer nights, the weekends, halloween, hot tubs, my piano, running, panera bread, victoria secret, summers in virginia, roadtrips, vacations, the color of green, vermont,
shopping, kisses, sushi, bonfires, backcountry snowboarding, sunny days, my lovely little red car, smores...etc.
Message: message me
AIM:  zellbell04
Member Since:
12/20/2005
|
|
| YESSSS THINGS ARE GETTING BETTERRRRRRR....muhaaaa im happy 
-MZ- | | |
| I dont know why...for many reasons i cant explain....i just cant believe my life is taking a turn for the worst....so i lost one of my best friends today...it was his doing.....im not gunna go into detail....but now....a part of my is gone.....a part of my life is just....gone. i feel like i can never feel the same about someone...im just so confused and hurt and i dont know what is wrong with me....i dont know what i did wrong.....i just feel like shitt....and my summer has gone in the shitts....i wanna run away and never come back....now more than ever....i just dont see the point in trying so damn hard for something that ends up not going my freaking way...it feels like i put so much forth and got nothing in return...absolutely nothing....i feel worthless...and powerless...and like nothing good will ever come out of my life because things are messed up....i hate this pit-of-the-stomach feeling....i just want it to go away...why wont it go away.....i dont know what to freaking do or what to think....ive never felt so lost about so many things going on at once and its making me so stressed and emotional....i hate it....ahhh....i gotta sleep....k bye
-M | | |
| Soooo.... Things are a TINY bit better...but i still cant get my damn license until im not sure...the end of summer im hopingggg...its bullshitt....whats so damn serious about a license, I mean...it's not like im gunna go crazy and drink and drive and shitt it's fucking annoying....i could of gotten my damn license almost 5 months ago...and im fucking pissed....but whatever....soooo....friends could be better....I feel like this summer is a waste because no one wants to hang out really...I feel like im a loner...and yeah just because i have a guy still means i can feel like a total loner...its not like im with him 24/7 because its just not like that and i wanna hang out with friends and no one seems to wanna get off there asses and hang out...I mean...we have one more year together and then everyone goes there seperate ways...I dont wanna look back on highschool and think all i did was work and sleep...I mean i want some memories my senior year...so hopefully this summer will be looking up and if not...next summer IS the summer...I mean....no one really realizes that we have senior year...and the damn school year goes fast as shitt...so basically we have no time to waste sooooo it's pissing me off....anywho... hopeful expectations for senior year: NO DRAMA with ANYONE, cool teachers, goodgrades, more freedom, license, new job, varsity soccer, hanging out with more people, making more friends, less enemies, no teacher's strikes, making more money at my new job, better relationships with fam, and stuff along those lines....yeah it's alot but i wanna just get shitt GOOD my last year...I want this to be the year that I look back on and think 'yeah that was the best year' Sooooo I hope things go good...but i need to make that happen...which sucks...but no one else is going to....whatevvvv....gotta work at 5 BLAHHHHHHHH damnit....oh well....tonight im going home and me and ben are gunna play my nintendo hahahah cuz we are cool like that...and cuz i just got it working again soooo i havent played in FOREVERRRR haha, and tom. i work until 5, so if you wanna hang out let me know yo even though no one reads these haha, k luv u bye
-MZ- | | |
| So my life officially is down the shitter....it really really is....everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong....and now everything is SHITT....like....everything...with my friends...my fam...everything....my whole life is such shitt now.....and whatever i am seriously debating moving down to VA with my dad....bnecause i cant take the shitt up here...my mom is such a biotch....but who knows....
-MZ- | | |
| Hmmm so today i leave for the beachhh im so freaking excited....i just hope everything goes right. So schools out for summmmerrrrr...and i couldn't of been happier...this year pretty much overall sucked balls...ive had better years...but there were some fun times that were definately had hah. So right now things are good with me and all my friends and im happy about that...i think we've all became closer than ever and now have actually made points of calling each other and hanging out and what not...and im glad. Senior year hopefully will be fucking awesome...hmmm...I wonder whats gunna happen in the future, its really wierd to think about...I just cant believe im down to my last year in highschool...its kind of scary to think about...cuz i dont know whats next. So Ben is good i guess...i dunno i dont really know what will happen with us in the future...i really am not worried about it though because i just dont wanna get all serious about a guy...it's bullshitt, and now ive learned to not do that at this age or any age, because you can end up fucking obsessing over a different person every damn week...thats pretty pathetic i must say hah...a pretty sad way to live your life...and im not gunna fall into that trap because it brainwashes people. Anywho...summer is so nice because you only make a point of seeing the people you WANNA see...i think one of the reasons schools so miserable for me is because alot of people there i HATE seeing everyday...its bullshitt were forced to interact with people we dont even get along with or like...and thats why i think college will be way better because your more independant there...its hard to explain and everyone thinks im crazy but oh well. Hm...so yeah cant get my license til august now cuz my mom bitched at me and i got in trouble with some shitt...so thats my "penalty" haha but shes still letting me go to beach week...im excited...well i better get goin becauseeeeeee were leaving soooooonnnn...ahhh yessss 3 days with all my beautiful lovely friendssssss.... k luv you all bye
-MZ- | | |
|
|
