Currently Listening Dusk and Summer By Dashboard Confessional see related

I dont know why...for many reasons i cant explain....i just cant believe my life is taking a turn for the worst....so i lost one of my best friends today...it was his doing.....im not gunna go into detail....but now....a part of my is gone.....a part of my life is just....gone.  i feel like i can never feel the same about someone...im just so confused and hurt and i dont know what is wrong with me....i dont know what i did wrong.....i just feel like shitt....and my summer has gone in the shitts....i wanna run away and never come back....now more than ever....i just dont see the point in trying so damn hard for something that ends up not going my freaking way...it feels like i put so much forth and got nothing in return...absolutely nothing....i feel worthless...and powerless...and like nothing good will ever come out of my life because things are messed up....i hate this pit-of-the-stomach feeling....i just want it to go away...why wont it go away.....i dont know what to freaking do or what to think....ive never felt so lost about so many things going on at once and its making me so stressed and emotional....i hate it....ahhh....i gotta sleep....k bye

-M