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zenmetalhead
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Name: jeff
Birthday: 6/8/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: my interests i like lisening to music such as slip knot, lamb of god,trustcompany, cold,atreyu,flaw, korn type O negetive, seven dust, ill nino, hate breed, mudvyane,that will sum my music list down for ya i lift weight hit the speed bag& punching bag around and most of all my girl friend crystal who me every thing with out her i dont know were i would be now i love you baby with all my heart i hope to be with you for ever and ever
Expertise: siting down liseing to people trying just trying to be a good friend that counts for somthing i guess.... i only wish people knew the true pain they caues one another
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  djfury17
Member Since:
6/13/2004
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| well its been a long time since the last time i have writin in this
thing and so much has happined and my life has gone from bad to worse
to better to the shittest yet i have had my heart smashed beyond any
kinda pain imaginable on so much meds that i dont even know who i am
any more lost a job lost three girl frineds not going back to hacc and
i fucked my back up whihc is stil fucking hurting (4 weeks) and cant
sleep at all and just now i just got back from fucking my final up for
culinary its like god damnit what the hell is wrong with me i
guess every one was right then they say that i do suck at life even
though thats how i feel right now wether its true or not i am so sick
of feeling like life is raping me over even though i am blaming
external forces and its just me who is fucking every ting up i just
wish i wasnt me i wish i was some one els its like i wanna fucking cry
but i am to pissed at my self to even come close to that point even
with letting these emotions go i am still angry sad and i sitll half to
wake up and come to the relization that my life still sucks i shake it
off and and say fuck it i can make it threw this but in the end i still
just a fuck up and its getting really hard to fight that shit feeling
.............ok i have just stared off into space fpor about 20 minits
while wrting this every thing i have been smoking non stop
latily........i cant think right now just saying what ever comes out of
my mind at this point i am so tired but cant sleep.......just die
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| well its been a long ass time since i have writen on my xanga dont know
why hacc stared back up again its going to be a long ass semester but
oh well that how collage is so i cant bitch about it because thats what
i signed up for breco is going to be dumb as fuck and every one in my
class thinks so oh well i will proly write more in this thing beause u
out up a my spoace but i dsont know i just liek my xanga better no one
gives a shit about my myspace to read any thing on it so fuck that blog
i am just going to write on my xanga people will comment more that way
or hopfull they will it seems to look liek that every one from xanga
has moved to myspace oh well i am stil going to keep mine up and
running well christmas wasnt to bad the break was amazing it was the
longest 3 weeks ever and i loved every moment of it bu tnow that i am
back at hacc who knows what kidna shit might go down this semster with
breco up and running and the grand opening on Feb.12th there are bound
to be alot of stress put on student and staff members alike today we
didi nothing but bitch work liek load dishs in and sweap the floors but
this one guy came in and tlaked about wines for a while whichw as
pretty cool then we just got the fuck out of there thankfully since i
didnt wont to be in there for 6 hours loiek my schedual said well thats
all i have to say right now i will try to stay up to date with my xanga
for the time being so for any one still out there that still has one id
say keep it pece for now
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| well its been alittle while i hope every one had a good x-mas i had a
pretty good one and my time off from hacc is great still have like 2
more weeks i have been hangin out with my baby as of late which is
always great i love her so much i just wish i could have spent
christmas with her that would have been great but that wont happin till
we move intogether which i hope is soon enuff well there isnt any thing
much els for me to report on right now i might give a few people a call
this week and see what they are doing aight well take it easy every one
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| well today was an ok day just chilled at and watched my simpson box
sets tim me and my cousin when out shopping together since he hadnt
even started gettings his presents for his family and i needs to get a
few things so we when to the mall and then walmart after that we came
back and played some old ass SNES (super nintendo) for the sake of old
memories and that a few collage kids can still save the world from evil
100 story tall monsters like we once had as kids thoughs many
years ago well nothing much els to say hope evbery one els had a good
day to day
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Soujiro: The strong shall live and the weak shall die. that's the
natural order of things. I cant understand why you have to help the
weak, weak people are irrelevant. Shishio
made me realize that tha strong should live. He taught me to kill the
weak and be aware of the strong people. Shishio gave me a sword, and if
not for that sword I wont be alive today. He also made me realize that
I dont have a choice. If I don't kill them they'll kill me. But the
truth is, I never really wanted to kill anybody.
it wasnt always like this when i first got here i did get angry and
upset and i did cry when they beat me but the more i got angry or the
more i cried theyd just say i was being selfish or noisy or it
just upset them more..and it got even worse when i just put up
with it all and kept smiling theyd get sick and stop even if it hurt
even if i hated it i just kept smiling
if your strong you live if your weak you die thats the truth mr.shishio
taught me but is being weak really that bad i have killed people but
killing people really wasnt...what i wonted to do.... i was smiling in
the rain that night but in reatily i was...i was really crying (after i killed
them)
quotes from one of my favoret anime charicters, Soujior Seta
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