| - CigaretteHave Another Cigarette..."Thanks for seeing me today."
"It's no problem at all. Now, how have you been doing as of late?"
"I've been... better. Well, I believe that I've been better." <laughs>
"If there weren't any problems, then you would not be here. So, something must have happened, or you have something you feel like talking to me about."
"Actually, I do have something I would like to talk to you about."
"Then have a seat and let us discuss this."
"Thanks." <takes a seat> "I've been trying to utilize the behavioral patterns that you set for me to... exhibit, and over the years I have been making progress, even if it is infinitesimally small." -very good- "But as of late I have acquired a - how would you say - significant other, which has been making it very difficult to carry out what you've had in mind for me." -how so?- "She... expresses disapproval towards my behavior and lifestyle and it is all I can do to find a manner with which to account for myself." -being your significant other, why do you find it necessary to 'find a manner' other than the one you carry yourself?- "As I said, 'significant other' is chosen for lack of a more appropriate term. The world is full of secrets, that is how it works. Make clear your personal mysteries and suddenly you find yourself very... vulnerable." -apparently, you are as cold and calculating as ever- "Apparently, the same words can be applied to yourself." -Do you still believe that everyone and everything around you exists as nothing more than a tool for you to utilize?- "It works the other way around too, thanks to you."
"Well, now that you have pleasantly brought it up, how have you been doing in your 'behavioral exercises'?"
"It is despicable and degrading. They have no damn right to treat me this way."
"And, yet, many years ago, there were people who were being treated this way."
"Perhaps..."
"- by your own doing, if I so remember correctly?"
"..."
"The feelings you express now are the feelings your... 'victims', for lack of a better term, -you bastard- have been feeling the whole time you have made yourself present in their lives. It is terrible to be treated like a rug, isn't it?"
"Yes, I was well aware of that previous to this debacle of yours."
"And yet you continued your course of action?"
"When I acquiesce to their demands, they just step all over me, and the roles merely reverse. When I am given the two choices, obviously I will choose to be the one sating my own needs."
""But is it always that way? One person is satisfied while the other will never be? Why can't a balance be established where both are conscientiously and compassionately aware of each other's existence?"
"Because it can't be done. It is the stupidest crap I have ever heard."
"No, it is easily possible. It is 'the stupidest crap' because you refuse to live such a life. Don't think that you can erect a false front with me. I know you inside and out. You live in either one extreme or another. There is no moderation for you, because you think doing things halfway is the worst thing anyone can ever do, when it isn't really 'doing things halfway', but building the balance in your life that will lead to the happy coexistence between yourself and everyone else around you. In the end, it doesn't even have anything to do with that. You are merely afraid. Of what? Of that very balance I am talking about. Afraid that, one day, you will find happiness and comfort knowing there are people around you that you would live for, fight for, die for. That one day, you will be mature enough to find a moderation in behavior that allows for confrontation without drastic dissolution of ties. That one day, you will accept the desire for someone close to you, someone you can rely on, confide in, mayhaps even love. Tell me, how far am I off?"
"..."
"Just remember, that there is only so far, so long that you can continue to run from your life. And when you do, indeed, run out of road to tread on, don't forget that I told you so."
"I got it."
"Do you really? If you really do 'get it', then you'd know to stop running, to accept your roles and responsibilities as an adult and a member of society. Please, have some courage for once in your life."
"Courage? Don't talk to me about courage, old man. Who else has lived through what I have lived through? And I still fight every single day. Every single day. I've yet to give up on myself."
"So you say. But do you know what I see when I look at you? An unappreciative, irresponsible, immature, spoiled, arrogant child. Sure, you have suffered, but so has everyone else in this world, some far worse than you. Excuse me, many. And, yet, you strut around with your own problems hung proudly around your neck, as if you deserve everyone's pity and deference towards you. Do you want to know why you have suffered so much? Because you are so ignorant, weak, and self destructive, you carelessly stumble onto these rocks in the road. So what do you do? Attempt to pass it off as your courageous fight against adversity. That is the worst kind of deception anyone could ever conceive of. To take advantage of the world's compassion in order to attain your own selfish ends, it is... undescribable. The compilation of dark deeds performed by every rapist, every murderer, every terrorist, every molester, every robber, every tyrant, every genocidal killer in recorded and unrecorded history pales in comparison to what you have done to this world and its people. There is no punishment that can hurt you as much as the hurt you have caused, nor can your body widthstand the amount physical and emotional pain that you deserve."
"Are you done?"
"I just hope that, if you continue to live the way you do, that you get what is coming to you." |
