| | Once upon a time, there was a great ninja warrior called Jesse. Jesse believed in 3 things: the way of the ninja, hardcore, and good hugs. One day, Jesse was flying about town, making sure things were as they ought to be. All of a sudden, a scream pierced the air. Jesse followed the cries over a wall, and came across a girl chained to a pair of headphones.
"What-are-up-with-you?" Jesse asked, hanging upside down from a tree branch.
The girl clawed at the cans over her ears. "It's folk!!" she exclaimed, horror etched across her face. "Jesse-san, it's not hardcore!!"
Jesse frowned sympathetically through his ninja garb. "Yeah," he said, "pretty much lame. I'd be screaming too."
There was an awkward moment of silence, and he could hear acoustic guitar plucking from the headphones.
"Can you just help me get ou of these? The lack of hardcore is slowly killing me," the girl explained.
Jesse paused in thought, and then said: "Right. Probably. Do I get something for doing it?"
The girl frowned. "Um, I guess? My eternal gratitude, at least."
"Alright," he said agreeably, and unsheathed his ninja sword. With one swift swoop, he sliced the chains away.
She pried the earphones off her head, and gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, Jesse-san! You're the greatest ninja of all time!"
Jesse nodded. "Yeah, pretty much," he said. "Be more careful next time," he added.
She nodded enthusiastically.
"I'll be needing a hug now," he informed her.
She looked at him warily, and then awkwardly shuffled over and gave him an uncomfortable side-hug.
"Umm," he said, as she released him. "That was definitely the worst hug ever. I don't even know if I'm able to call it a hug."
She scowled. "I hardly know you," she pointed out. "You're a strange ninja."
"Who saved your life from folk hell!" he exclaimed, eyes glaring.
"Whatever," she snapped.
"Whatever? Hosebeast." he muttered.
"Fine! I'll give you a full hug!" she said, exasperatedly holding her arms out to him.
"No!" Jesse said, backflipping out of the way and onto a nearby unicorn. "Now I don't want one. I'm going to ride off into the sunset with this ninja unicorn, now, and you can't come. I have half a mind to throw you into a dungeon with John Mayer."
"Not Adult Alternative!" she screeched.
"Yeah," said Jesse. "Pretty much." And he rode off into the sunset on his ninja unicorn, peace and hardcore once again restored to the land. |
| | Posted 7/26/2006 11:20 PM - 16 views - 19 comments
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