A few weeks ago during rehearsals we joked about going to Vietnam to become pop stars. I think we would be very successful in that market. For the uninitiated, the vietnamese music pop scene is very similar to to the one in North America. It's mostly composed of vocalist who lip sync songs written by other people while surrounded by backup dancers. There is a lot of showmanship but little musicianship. I believe we are uniquely qualified to excel in the Vietnamese market. I even made a list of advantages we have over our homeland counterparts.
1. We all play our own instruments. This is actually a rarity in Vietnamese pop music. Usually the musicians are old men, wearing matching hawaiian shirts hidden just off stage. They never get any love. This also hides the fact that we can't dance. Unless some one play's Thriller or rave music (not really dancing, more convulsion). We will also insist on performing live instead of to prerecorded music. It let's you work the crowd. How else would I get in my 10 minute guitar solo?
2. We are a band and not a solo artist Why were/are boy bands so popular? Because there will be someone everybody can identify with. As a band, we are much more marketable. On drums and piano, we have the older, tall, light skinned handsome multi instrumentalist who just oozes "I am ready for a committed relationship." So ready in fact that he is married, but we won't let the fans know that. On the mic we have the barefoot singing hippie diva who just wants world peace and to hugs puppies. This will bring in the angst ridden teenage demographic. Girls want to be her, guys want to be with her. On bass we have a mini brunette version of Sheryl Crow. She's a little rock, a little country and a whole lot of hair. It's like she is from Texas. Finally there is the edgy yet sensitive guitarist with a compromised fashion sense. No, I don't wear girl jeans and mascara in case you are wondering.
3. We are taller than the vietnamese average height. Aside from mini Sheryl Crow, we tower over our comrades from the mother land. This is thanks to a good nutrition and a sleeping on bed that are not made of wood. The advantage is, for live shows, we do not need to find undersized backup dancers to make us look regular height. Also less money spent on high heels and shoes with lifts.
How compelling is that? The only thing holding us back right now is learning Vietnamese well enough to speak it. Once that is taken care of we are set. Imagine if we actually pursued this. Look for us on the cover of Paris by Night 803. Watch out Don Ho. I'm gunning for you!!
