Happy New Year everyone! I hope that 2006 will be a better year! Not that 2005 neccessarily "bit the big one" but it seems that 2005 was a rough year for everyone! So many good memories for 2005... becoming a member at the Newark Naz, the birth of Jaelyn, fellowship with our small group at church, having the kids up for the summer and over Christmas (it's never long enough), bringing in the New Years with Meg and Tom, falling more and more in love with Dewey, mom and I growing in the pet-sitting business, having Paula for a roommate, Danielle and Jason, Matt and Candice, Bill and Pat, Earl and Marguerite, Pastor Wes, John and Julie...all people that have personally blessed my life in a HUGE way this past year!!

I know God is going to do many great things this year in my life. Soon I will graduate from OSU and that's something I look forward to in the biggest way! I have been working full-time for the past ten years and going to school part-time and it's been a long stressful road. I look forward to taking a short break from school, saving some money up, and then going back to school, hopefully for my PhD. It's been my childhood dream to work with abused children and I will pursue that dream until I do it. I have also been taking American Sign Language the past year and have really taken a liking to the language and the many people I have met because of it.

Other than that, I see marriage in the upcoming year and Dewey and I have been checking out homes in Potter's Grove. Hopefully we'll start building sometime in the near future so we'll have a house when the kids come up in the summer. We put the kids on the airplane this morning and it is always so hard! Dewey spent half the day bawling like a baby off and on and of course I cry for the week or two after they leave! It's so hard...and the quietness of the apartment after they leave is enough to drive you nuts! Dewey and I go through this every time... we just sit and look at each other and wonder what we did before they come up to visit from Florida. The absense of all the yelling and not hearing Thomas run up and down the hallway chasing both dogs, and Megan chatting on the phone, and not hearing the kids yell at each other because one bumped the other off and back to home while playing "SORRY," Thomas telling Megan what to do and Megan making faces at Thomas... it drives you insane while it's all going on but you'd almost rather hear them yelling at each other then not hear it at all. I sit here and wonder what Megan's going to wear to school tomorrow and if Thomas is in bed already and just miss them like crazy. And Megan... if you haven't seen this girl... she's as beautiful as beautiful can get and I really couldn't ask for a better fit "step-daughter" for me. She's so girlie, loves to shop, loves the same TV programs as I do, loves the same music, loves to work-out and is sensitive as all get-out... we're like a mirror image of each other and if she was 20 years older, we'd probably be best friends. It's so hard seeing them go and I hope one day they'll be back up here living with Dewey and I. Dewey and I are planning on taking the parenting class offered by the church and I hope I can get into some "step-parenting" class soon. Parenting is hard enough alone but to be a step-parent is even harder. You want to teach them to respect you but at the same time, you want them to love you like they do their own mom or dad. And then you add being a CHRISTIAN parent on top of that and I think sometimes kids think you are disciplining them too hard when you are really just trying to instill good morals and values in them. You want them to have a high standard for themselves and want them to want the best for their lives... like saving yourself until you get married, to not lie and steal, to be honest, to love God and be true to themselves, to be educated and grow up to be successful... it's a huge responsibility to be a good Christian parent and it's stressful...you just WANT the best for them and you just pray that you rub off on your kids so they'll grow up with as little heartbreak as they can. I remember thinking when I grew up with a step-mom that she didn't love me or didn't love me like she did her own kids and I FEAR that Megan and Thomas feel that way about me. I know they know I love and care for them and I shower them with kisses and hugs but I just hope they grow up loving me like I love them. I have learned the meaning of love through them and would give my life for either Megan or Thomas. They are seriously wonderful kids and I just hope I can be the best of all parents and I hope they will grow up to know Dewey and I discipline them the way we do so they'll grow up to not lie or so they'll learn that you just can't hurt others and get away with it. Whew... it's so much pressure but I wouldn't change it for the world or any amount of money!

So anyway, I hope you all have a great New Years and I look forward to sharing and growing in Christ with my new extended family. Know that I love each of you with all of my heart!!

God bless,

Amanda