zink85's Xanga

new job

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 21:46:12 GMT

So, I got hired on the spot at Wal-Mart, I am a part time cashier during the evenings and weekends. I will make $6.40 starting out and after 90 days will get a raise if I pass my umm review. I am now waiting on my UA and background check to clear and then get into a orientation and I will be working 2 jobs.

Plus, I got a calling in Relief Society (womens organtization within the church) so now I keep track of roll and the missionary meals and visiting teaching companions and what not. That shall be interesting keeping up with all of that record keeping and Enrichment stuff and my 2 jobs. And then try to maintain some sort of life outside of working. Yes, theres a downfall to a new job, but I am totally surpassing that and looking at the long run and my goals for the Mission in the Spring of 2007. I am so excited for it and can't wait till I can send in my papers and say I am healthy and I no longer have any debt other then my student loans to worry about. I am so excited for that day to come I can even explain!

Things with Mr. Norris are going well. We have talked on the phone a couple of times and we still continue to talk on MSN for long periods of time. He is such a great guy its just to bad he didnt come along either sooner or way later. But maybe we are just supposed to become best friends so we can support each other in the Church for the remainder of our lives. I dont know the purpose he will serve in my life, but for now its nice to be able to connect with a guy on that level. I have never had that before and I am really enjoying it. Its a great feeling to know you are actually compatiable with someone and that you have a chance at a nice relationship someday. I thought I would never have a boyfriend or a guy who would even talk to me as more then "friends" so its just a welcomed thing right now, even the timing is horrible.

What is love?

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 02:47:48 GMT

So, I haven't updated in forever...go figure right. I have been extremely busy and hardly ever home. I work from 8-5 monday thru friday, then after 5 I hang out with the Awesome Sister Missioanries here in my town till they have to be in bed by 10:30, so then I come home and in turn go to sleep after checking my e-mail and such.

So thats my life, neat huh? Okay, so today is actually my mom and dads anniversary, we just went to the state fair and walked around for a few hours and that was it, but last weekend we had this kick arse surprise party for them, its their 25th wedding anniversary by the way...so they had no clue..it was wicked sweet!

Other then that I have a job interview at Wal- Mart thursday evening....hopefully I get a job so I can get more money coming in..but then my fun time will be non existent..but so goes life.

Oh the title of my blog is what is love....thats my question....I seem to fall quickly for guys, but this one is different this time, he really is. The weird thing is we have never met in person, we have talked via e-mail and MSN and now phone. And we get along superbly, never like this have I connected with a guy. The sucky part is....if I serve a mission later this year or beginning of next, he is not the type to wait, at least he isnt as of now. Things might change, but one thing for sure is I know a mission is in my near future, but yet I might be skipping out on a wicked sweet relationship with a guy who I absolutly have fallen for hardcore. What else will life bring to me? I am waiting in the distance for the new twist and turns. I just wish I would have some warning and guidance in what to do.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 23:04:11 GMT

So, time for a update I suppose. Not a lot going on. I am just working the summer away which I love. I have one of the best jobs in this town. I am in my field of study for now and loving it. My car is amazing, gives me so much freedom, I have waited for this part of life for a long time and now thats its here I love it. So, I have been hanging out with the church Missionaries for fun, and Loving it, makes me realize how much of a dream it is for me to serve a mission somewhere in the world for 18months. I can't wait till I get my credit cards paid off and I can leave on a mission unless I get married which I don't really see that happening anytime soon, but God works in mysterious ways.

I might become a Nanny real soon, I am in the process of finding a family through and LDS agency. they deal strictly with LDS families and LDS nannies. I am excited. I hope I can find a cool family on the west coast some wheres, I talked to the agency today and they said they have a few jobs in California and a couple on the East coast, I will take any of em as long as pay is more then I am getting now at the shop.

So, thats all I got for you now, other then BCCC sucks and screws people over so I will screw you back...Muahahahahaha....okay I am leaving now, later

Friday, July 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 02:47:19 GMT

So, do you ever get those nights when you are trying so hard to sleep knowing its late and you have to be up for work....but for some odd reason everything floods your mind and keeps you up? Last night was like that. I had so much running through my head I could not sleep a wink. But, it was good stuff, me thinking I need to change the way I act and treat myself, and then me thinking of how sweet it would be to send off a casting tape for Real World 19. But I missed it by a week. So unless the company reads my e-mail and gives me shot then that idea was for nothing. All I could think of was different things to say on camera and ways to make myself sound different and cool enough for them, and I had the perfect setup for it too. But so goes life. That kept me up about an hour because I just had to get back on my computer and check to see when deadline was and then proceeded to e-mail and be like give me a shot to send in a tape by monday...I am still awaiting their reply, I most likely wont get one. Which would be great or at least my mom thinks so, she like hates the idea of me going on T.V. and she thinks since I am overweight that it will be case to be picked on. She was kinda mean about it, I said mom its a great oppurtunity for me, and the chances of me getting accepted is very slim to none.

So, then I kept thinking about second jobs and what would I do if I couldnt make my payments or I couldn't find any classes to take so then I would have loan payments. So, I am kinda stressed about that now, but so goes life huh? I also thought about Hays a lot and how I want to be up there so bad and to start over and do well. But I am thinking now and really the only reason that takes me back to Hays is my friends, and how much I miss not seeing them everyday and truely getting to hang out. And even if I was up there, I would have to work and so do all of my friends so seeing them everyday is a huge fairytale I have in my head. So I pass that option by. But now I think more of Massage Therapy school and how I want to do that so badly and start doing that as a living, and I also want to get a degree in Photography and do that as a living. So many choices or dreams an aspirations and not enough money to do em' all. So, I shall work work work till I get all my credit card debt paid off completely which will be by next year or a bit longer now that I have the car to worry about. But I see an end near I think/hope. So, once that is done I am so out of Great Bend and this place called Kansas. It litteraly makes me sick, so I need to get out. And as soon as possible because that would mean no more allergy pills or asthma stuff, because I would stop havin the reactions to where I lived. Being in Alabama made me realize how much I am allergic to where I am living and how much it sucks to depend on allergy pills to work day in and day out for the rest of my life if I dont move. So I shall move sooner or later and hopefully more sooner then later.

So, if you have read this far kodos to you. I shall go to bed since work calls my name at 6 am tomorrow instead of the 8. So, Good night and thanks for reading this far if you did. See you all sometime later when I journey outside of GB in my new hott car!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 04:16:55 GMT

I am Sofa King We Todd Did...

I hate myself and my actions sometimes. But from here on out I am done, enough of my idiocracy, no more going back on my beliefs and hurting myself mentally and physically. I am done done done and may I say done.

Thats all I got for you. Oh, and I miss Hays and going to a real school. Barton is a huge joke and I shall laugh at it, but it can kick my ass now because of loans that will kick in if I am not a student, so I am forced to return part time to keep the loans from kicking in. If I could afford Hays or further away and my car payment I would, but I have no help but myself. So, every little thing is on me, so that pretty much sucks big ones. I hate not having something else to help me. If I could only win the lottery or like 5 thousand bucks I would be great to go for the rest of my life because it would take all my credit card payments away and then I could move and live comfortably somewhere. Grr my luck, maybe I will play the lottery soon and try my luck with the other 100 million Americans trying their luck too.

Good night!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 03:25:23 GMT

Drunk people piss me off sometimes...

That's all I got to say about that.....

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 02:25:00 GMT

I am finally 21!

So, its a big deal for some but not so much for me. I don't drink a drop of Alcohol period, so that does nothing for me. Guns would just get me in trouble so I wont be purchasing one of those anytime soon, or atleast I don't think I will be. So, those are the 2 most exciting things for being 21. And neither apply to me. Now in my church when a female hits 21 and is unmarried she can officially serve a mission, that affects me, I want to serve so badly but just cant financially especially now that I have a car payment and such. So we will see when I can leave on one...maybe next year!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 21:41:59 GMT

I got a new car. its a 2005 Mazda M6, its white and I love it. Look for me in it around town and who knows maybe your town if you aren't from GB
.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Tue, 23 May 2006 02:37:20 GMT

So, I was just getting ready for bed when my sister sent me a message asking if I had heard about a guy named Tyler Dino. So, automatically I assume he passed away, and yes he did. He died last night in his sleep. That is freaking sad especially thinking about his wife in whom I graduated with in high school has a young child. Man that sucks, I never really cared for either of them but I do feel way sorry for her. Such a young age to die at. How sad huh?

So on a more personal note, my life is going well, can't complain. I have a good job and great family. I am lacking in the friends department or so it seems. I feel like the friends I had this year at Barton only used me when they needed a DD. I am glad I was able to help them return home safely, but thinking back on it, I am really kinda upset about it. I am tired of being used. Really, thats all I got in high school and I thought I got rid of it when I moved to Hays. But, it's back now and I hate it. I want to have friends be around me who actually enjoy my company. I had them for once in my life but I moved home and they seemed to fade away. I guess thats bound to happen with college huh, you meet great people and as soon as you transfer or graduate there went the whole friendship you thought would last a lifetime? Well, I hope I can keep the friendships going long enough ya know. Make them last longer then 2 years ya know. But I am done being DD no more of that for me, no more bars, no more being around drunks. I hate the way they act drunk and how stupid people get. So, from here on out, I am done. No more being taken advantage of either. No more nice person, well I will be nice only to an extent though. I will no longer be used as a friend.

Oh, on another rant, I hate when people dont return phone calls. It's a common courtesy, I mean if you dont want to speak to me at least call my ass and tell me that. I mean really a week later still no return, I have called you more the once, and sent a text message and I know you got it, b/c it tells me when its delivered. So I know you got it and I know you are now ignorging me? Gah, I hate that, freaking be honest with me, haven't we covered this more then once? I believe so, so freaking grow up and let me know whats going on. I mean you are going out of the country for the summer so there is no chance I will talk to you most likely and no way I can see you so umm I am pretty sure I am leaving in October on a mission and so it was nice to see you and speak to you in April and talk to you once in May. Thanks!

So I think I am done ranting and raving, if you read this far thanks if not who cares...certainly not me anymore. I am done caring about others b/c I hardly get the same in return.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mon, 08 May 2006 04:36:11 GMT

So, I just spent a few hours with a celebrity..Ruthie from the Real world was in town to speak at the college about alcohol use and diversity and sex and stuff..She was amazing....I loved listenin to her talk and then we took her for dinner, when I say we I mean the peer educators with the Alcohol Prevention Program. I got to sit next to her and it was amazing she taught me a trick wtih a lighter b/c I told her I was a pyro and such. It turns out we are pretty alike and have had tough times in our life and at one point or another we were both suicidal and so yeah she was very interested in hearing me talk and such. She is like you need to keep in contact and if you ever need to talk and let things off your chest let me know. Wow that was pimp of her....well to proved this happened here is a pic of me and her..shes a shortie but a nice lady!