| | I sit at the computer, rubbing my forehead. A thin layer of something is coming off my skin - that's when I realize I need a shower. I look over my shoulder to my dining room table covered in all the necessary mess (messessary?) I have nowhere else to contain. I feel something on my arm - an insect? a small bird? a furry rodent? No, just the exhale of my nostrils. I make a "hmm, I'm thinking about something" kind of face, just for the heck of it, and continue to blog. I have trouble finding interesting content because I'm writing in present tense, and nothing interesting happens in present tense. I review my submission for "The New York Songwriters Circle" and listen through the mp3s to make sure they have uploaded correctly. Sounds good enough to me.
I enter my credit card information and glance at the time in the upper-right corner of my computer screen: "9:00." In a few hours, the football game will be finishing up, and the Delong family will be coming over to sleep with me for the night, at least until 5 a.m. tomorrow. I have spent the last few hours cleaning my room, and, except for the mess on the dining room table, everything is in pretty good shape. I wish I had a new computer, but there are more important issues to worry about - such as, I was supposed to know the song "Set Me As A Seal" for Kait's wedding. Tomorrow I am practicing it with one of her friends. The job of musician is more difficult than many people suspect. The vocation's stigma has been marred and defined by groovy hipsters and phlegmatic tokers. Do I let that discourage me? Of course. But I do my best not to. I'm a little chilly, as the song ends and I realize it is quite an easy song as long as I have the words to review. In just a few days I have two exams which will tell how well or terrible I have been at learning the material so far in my classes. I am not prepared to fail. I have never been prepared to fail. The question is am I prepared to be mediocre, which, unfortunately, I often am. Does that matter? Yes. To me it does. I have to be the best. If everyone were their best, would we all be mediocre or exceptional? I guess the most important question has nothing to do with anyone else, regarding their abilities or their opinions. In the end, I have only אלוהים to please. Even I don't always have to be pleased with myself if He is.
I played an open mic last night, and my one friend Joseph Dabney was ferociously impressed. He said, "You're going to be so famous, dude. I mean, all you have to do is play out more. How can people not go crazy when they hear you play?" To which I replied, "You'd be surprised." Another of my friends, Sam Werner, with whom I went to a Jewish service last night, was equally moved. "That was effing inspirational!" he said as I finished my set. I was pretty happy they liked the music. The guy who ran the open mic said he cried over the last song "Settle Down, Busy Soul," which I had said I would play because it made someone cry the last time I performed it live. All in all, it was a good night.
This week is the רוש השאנה (Rosh Hashannah), or Jewish New Year's Day. I think that's pretty cool. I might find a party to go to. I bet they know how to party.
I am tired, but I want to go running. I think I'll try to run a couple miles in the gym now. I'm pretty lonely.
Peace.
–יועל
|
| | Posted 9/27/2008 9:20 PM - 14 views - 1 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- give stars
- votes0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
