zipperears's Xanga

So I've distributed...

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:46:18 GMT

27 CDs so far! I've sold almost 20. I'm so excited!

Anyway, I'm doing my best here. I signed a few of the CDs tonight as well! It was a good time.

We all had a good time... :)

So, I've sold 2.7% of the product in the past two weeks or so. Hopefully it will pick up as time goes on. I'll have to submit some stuff to the Penn State radio.

-joel

I am so discouraged

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 05:13:23 GMT

I am so stuck in this moment. From 9 - 10pm tonight, a friend from Hebrew class came over with his brother and they listened in awe to a bunch of my music. They're convinced I'm going places. I'm just so stuck.

I just want to fall asleep but I was stupid tonight.

And I'm listening to "Syzygy" which is probably one of the most depressing songs I've ever written. At least it feels that way right now. I just want to fall asleep and wake up again. I messed up again today and ate too much. Said too much. Did too much. Too tired. Not asleep yet. Why?

I don't know. I just want a better day.

I'm so tired.

–יואל

Strangely Enough...

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 07:06:22 GMT

sometimes I feel very convicted to go vegan. It's an idea I keep toying with, but haven't been able to commit to. I'm almost 100% certain I would feel 100% better and be 100% more healthy if I did, so what's the hold up? I'm sure I could afford it if I was willing to eat smaller amounts (which I probably would do considering my options if I went vegan).

It's just a very strange conviction. What do you think about it? Why am I feeling this way? Do you believe there's any credibility to the idea that the "spirit" of an animal lives on in its meat, and if it was troubled during its life, as in, because of the way it was raised, that it can have a troubling effect on us when we eat it? I'm not trying to go pantheistic or anything, but I believe that all life is sacred to God, and sometimes I feel really bad that I not only eat enough to survive, but that I eat an excessive amount of food, including animal flesh, and that I live in a time when eating meatless is easier and easier, yet continue without much thought.

Think about this: as human beings, we tend to care for whatever life falls within our spectrum of concern. For instance, we feel a much greater pain when a beloved pet dies than we do for an animal laying on the side of the road. What must it feel like to God, whose "eye is on the sparrow," to be omniscient with a world full of creatures constantly dying. How does God cope with that? I wouldn't be able to.

Also, consider the value of life God places on animals. The killing of a flawless animal was traditionally the way Jews asked for forgiveness from God. What is amazing about this, is of course that the flawless animals are a foreshadowing to the sinless sacrifice of Jesus, but also it is showing how important life is to God. When God says that the sacrificing of a flawless life provides atonement for our sin, He honors the animal kingdom by appointing them to be the original sacrifices. God, according to scripture, dresses the flowers and provides food for the birds, day by day. Obviously He is paying attention.

I just want to make sure I am paying attention to Him. I want to hear Him whisper. I just want to make Him happy.

-joel

Dear God, I just pray

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:16:12 GMT

that no one is stupid enough to assassinate the president-elect and set us all back half a century. Please protect him.

-joel

Why "Christian" is not synonymous with "Conservative"

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 17:39:42 GMT

I was torn between the chosen title and "Why America Isn't A Christian Nation."

Conservatism being tied with Christianity annoys me for a few reasons: here are some.

On government control:
Conservatives are completely against government control.
Unless it's marijuana, gay marriage, abortion, cough medicines, wall street, taxes, immigration, homeland security, etc. etc. etc.

On sex:
Abortion is completely out of the question - but so is sex education other than abstinence, which doesn't need to be taught any more than you need to teach a person how not to drive a car. If we believe that people should not be driving until they have their licences, fine. I agree with you. But if our generation is immersed in a culture that says we should all be driving cars whenever we feel like it, perhaps we could at least educate people so they know where the gas and the brake pedals are.
But no. If people don't live up to our moral standards, let's make it so that the consequences are as negative as possible. Let them get STD's, unwanted pregnancy, or heck, even AIDS, because if they can't control themselves, they don't deserve to decrease their chances of getting these consequences.
And let's just pretend that no one looks at porn. Pshft.

On addiction:
Let's shun people who have an addiction to drugs or alcohol, but welcome openly people with eating disorders who aren't attempting to change. People who are addicted to gossip, judging, self-image, or the like, aren't in "sin" per se, they're simply "struggling" with these "issues." C'mon, you know card games, dancing and drinking are the cardinal sins! Gluttony? C'mon, that's just a little issue that we work through. It's part of being an American, really.

On wealthcare:
How dare anyone suggest that we help the poor and needy. Why, we all know that in Jesus' day, he walked around and only healed the poor and sick who were deserving of such help. Remember that one passage where Jesus asks the beggar why he is unable to get a job, and then refuses to help him because he has no valid excuse? No, I don't remember that one either.
And redistribution of wealth? Anyone who wants to be like the 1st century church and is against redistribution of wealth must have their head on backwards.

These are just a few little things that irk me. Democracy is not the gospel. Conservatism is not our savior. The church needs to understand that in our true homeland, the Word is secure. The Law is not going to change. The constitution is not our ultimate authority, and if that changes, our convictions don't have to. Our highest calling is not to defend the rules of our government, but in doing so, we have communicated to the rest of the world that our faith and our Law is as fluctuating and inconsistent and hypocritical as the laws of these United States of America. What a better world we could make if we cared more about defending our kingdom than our country.

–יואל

Nothing significant to say today...

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 04:43:09 GMT

I was just thinking...

I find it quite beautiful that as children of God we are no longer slaves to sin, and yet we never spiritually mature beyond the need for grace.

We truly are fearfully and wonderfully made.

That's all.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the $100k, I found a way to earn my Masters from Full Sail (Winter Park, FL) in time for my 25th birthday (2012). Actually it would be an Associates in Recording Arts, Bachelors in Music Business, and Masters in Entertainment Business. The only thing in my way now is cost. And that's not really in my way, it's just a bridge I haven't crossed yet. Actually it's more like a grand canyon I haven't figured out how to jump yet. I guess I'll just have to keep praying about it, and we'll see what happens.

I am actually feeling really strongly about it though. Strongly enough to go ahead even if Jessica ends up moving to California. Strongly enough to wait until at least age 25 to make the kind of commitments I wish I could make now. Strongly enough to drop (literally) what I'm doing and the work I've done this semester (and most of my previously earned credits) to pursue this. Strongly enough to look for a worship leader position in Florida. Strongly enough to disregard my inhibitions and promote myself to semi-famousness simply to afford to go. Strongly enough to leave the state one of my two wonderful sisters and her family now have a home in. Strongly enough to increase the distance between the rest of my family and me...

And now I'm going to go cry, because once again, I feel the necessity to do what I don't want to do, and the urge to leave my comfort zone.

I really wonder if anyone will think I'm sane when this is all over.

ײַI have to wake up and get to class at 10:00. A class I probably won't even finish, but that I'm committed to continuing until I know for sure what I'm planning to do, which I will have to decide by Monday, when I meet with a counselor to discuss these things.

I have an oral exam early next week that I will be doing with a partner in Hebrew class. I'm going to do well in it for his sake (I actually got a 95 on the last test, so I don't have too much to worry about).

My life just got a whole lot more challenging.

The good news is that I'm almost ready to send out my music to Public Muse in Greece, where it will be remastered and portions of it will be rerecorded. After that, it is going to be promoted to movies, and after that comes the paychecks. We'll see how that works out.

I definitely just said more than I expected to, but you were the one who read this far. Psych.

–יואל

Don't think of it as 100k...

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:41:23 GMT

Think of it as... 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10.

As I said to Jessica today, "Raising the money shouldn't be too hard, it's just a matter of finding 100 clever ways to make $1,000."

Way #1: Sell 100 CDs at $10 a piece.

I'm going to do this by flyering up the town of State College and finding ten places to play. At each place, I will try to sell 10 copies by pounding people with the idea until they can't help but buy one.

That's really all I have right now, but at the rate things are going, I should come up with another idea within... a few days.

Photography street sale, anyone?

Maybe playing on the streets of State College.

Maybe getting a job? >shudder< We'll see... one step at a time...

-joel

In all the excitement...

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:41:13 GMT

I forgot to mention that I lost all my lyrics. All 140 of them - poof. Gone.

I'm going to have to re-enter many of them from memory. Great.

In other news, I'm reconsidering where I want to study. I am going to talk to an adviser from Penn State pretty soon, and I'm also going to talk to an adviser from Full Sail. 2009 will surely be an interesting year.

For all of us. If we make it through 2008, that is.

Mark 9:38
John spoke up, "Teacher, we saw a man using your name to expel demons and we stopped him because he wasn't in our group."

Not much has changed, John. Not much has changed.

39-41
Jesus wasn't pleased. "Don't stop him. No one can use my name to do something good and powerful, and in the next breath cut me down. If he's not an enemy, he's an ally. Why, anyone by just giving you a cup of water in my name is on our side. Count on it that God will notice.

If only we truly believed that Jesus isn't pleased with religious cliques, perhaps I wouldn't feel like such an outcast.

–יואל

Holy wars, Batman!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:17:41 GMT

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said "Jesus is not my homeboy, He is my Lord."

And you know what? That really irks me. You know why (aside from the fact that it is probably prompted by ethnic intolerance)?

Because every generation has its anchors who tie themselves to the truth-boat and try to drag it along as slowly as possible to keep God in their comfortable little waters, close to their comfortable little shores: just ask Martin Luther.

Here's the thing: truth is unchangeable, but the way it's delivered doesn't have to be. This is why I'm not ending every other word with "eth" (as they do in the KJV, which is actually a very good translation to read if you want to expand your vocabulary - I'm serious).

When we describe conversion, a common way we describe what a sinner is to do is "ask Jesus into your heart." Well let's look at that for a moment. That phrase is entirely geared to relate to people where they are. For one, we're not asking Jesus into any body part; the "heart" as we call it, is our spirit, our soul, our being. Two, we're not asking Jesus to come in as much as we're asking the Holy Spirit to come in, as we accept Jesus' sacrifice, if you want to argue semantics (and I know there are those of you out there who want to!) and the function of the Godhead, since Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding for us at this moment (and this is simply a word picture to illustrate how God functions; it is not meant to be taken literally because, for one, God is omnipresent, so how can Jesus be sitting to the right of something which surrounds and infiltrates everything?). Three, we're not asking the Holy Spirit to come into us as much as we're surrendering ourselves to God to work through us. I can't imagine the Spirit of God as anything but vibrant and full of motion (check Genesis 1; He's even scurrying around then!), so we're not making ourselves a little house for the Holy Spirit, but a launch pad. We're asking God to make us physical manifestations of His grace (members of the Body of Christ, as we say). And yes, we're temples, but we're living, breathing, moving temples who weren't designed to be bomb shelters, cautiously shielding our faith from anyone else's opinions. Grow up already.

Now, do we need to say (let alone understand) all that in order to receive salvation? Pfft, let's hope not or we're pretty much all missing out! That's just the thing. God meets us where we are. Whether our word for friend is "homeboy," "comrade," or "חבר," that's exactly what God wants to be - close and personal.

So please, if you're going to start with semantics, contemptuous-bumper-sticker-maker-people, let's start with our own gobbledygooks and work our way out, rather than attacking anything unfamiliar while we ourselves walk around with beams in our eyes. Someone out there is changing the world because Jesus is his homeboy, and what are you doing with your bumper sticker, other than segregating yourself and coming off as a killjoy?

–יואל

Putting my two cents in the box

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:03:57 GMT

This post is for Cadberry92802, a friend of mine from Maine.

In a recent post she said (and I would encourage you to check out her site so you understand what I'm talking about):
"The Bible can't be interpreted any other way than it is written, it is WITHOUT ERROR (Inerrant)"

Cad (and anyone else reading), I have a few questions, things for you to think about, etc:
If the Bible can't be interpreted any other way than it is written, how are there so many interpretations, doctrines, and denominations? Whose perspective are you basing your opinion on? Is it the Assemblies of God or the Catholic Church that has all the correct doctrine? If the Earth is a billion years old does that mean that God couldn't have created it? Is every law in the Bible to be followed, and if so what about the entire book of Leviticus? If certain commands in the Bible don't apply to us because they were written for the culture of the time, who decides on what is suitable now vs. then?

There is a lot of human interpretation, and while I agree with you that there is absolute truth, there are so many people in the world who believe they know what truth is, that it is important we don't consider our understanding of truth to be absolutely true to the point that God can no longer speak to us but through the filters of understanding we have thus far erected. That might be heresy but when it all boils down, I just want to know Jesus better. I want to know God for everything He is, and at the same time, understand that He is beyond what I can ever understand. It is hard to believe that God is bigger than Christianity (some people have a hard time believing that God is bigger than America), but in the beginning was God. Before a single letter of a word of a sentence, there was God. Before there was religion, God made us and communicated with us.

We have developed such an amazing defense against our faith, and lost underneath all this armor is the idea of grace, the idea of a God who forgives us even when we don't fully understand, when we don't completely get it right (because no one has ever perfectly understood truth, and he who thinks so is pretty full of himself, in my opinion), when we crucify the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us, God forgives, and still loves us. The last thing we as Christians should be doing, in my opinion, is attacking other Christians and preaching against them. If others want to attack, let them! But I would say a much bigger danger to truth than a group of people who don't quite get it, is a group of people who believe they fully get it and leave no margin for error, no room for grace, and who spend more time defending faith than fighting evil with love.

LOVE! It's what we're made for; it's what God's made of!

Cadders, I beseech you; never let go of grace, and never lose sight of God's infinite capacity for making good out of evil.

–יואל