Currently Listening Journey - Greatest Hits By Journey Open Arms see related

Nothing ever does though.
Not really. Not with me.
I somehow manage to mess everything up all of the time.
You wanna know why?
Because I'm selfish, I'm manipulative, and the things I want are by far too out of reach for the 21st century boy I'm convinced.
This is the truth of it; I've never been as happy with anyone as I am with him.
He has shown me more patience and dedication then anyone I've ever met and been there for me more than most of my friends when times were hard.
At the same time though, I begin to doubt everything I know about myself and how the world works. I really am going to fail.
It's obvious to me now that words are useless when trying to get what you want unless you say the right ones but even then the outcome is unpredictable.
I don't think I'll ever figure this thing out.
He doesn't understand.
And that is why sometimes I think bad things about myself. I can't help it. Everyone does it. Don't deny, but yet everything that comes out of my mouth people seem to hold against me.
Or something?
I just can't do anything right nowadays.

Currently Listening Kim Possible By Various Artists see related

shhyeah I'm pretty much totally slacking at everything right now. I'm pretty sure I've skipped all of my classes 2 or more times and we're only on like the 4th or 5th week of school! Horrible. It's the motivation thing. I lack it. Greatly.

Half of it is because of a little tv show I recently became obsessed with, the L Word. Such a good show! Seriously. Go watch it right now if you've never seen it.

Other than that my life has pretty much sucked. All I do is work, go to school, work some more, attempt to make our business better, and then get fucked up on the weekends. So naturally all I pretty much wanna do is sleep in between all of that. I'm deprived. I know it.

*sigh* oh well, I'm sure things will work out as they always do.

This weekend is Rance's birthday. What to get him? . . .

Currently Watching The L Word - The Complete First Season By Jennifer Beals see related

We're having pizza with mussshroooms. Wash it down with soco. A white powder sprinkle desert to follow, and oh yeah, mary jane is invited.

Yes, we party like rock stars.

Currently Watching Unsolved Mysteries:Ghosts By Robert Stack see related

It's been a million years since I've posted an entry that didn't consist of just humorous photos or promotional banners for ThatVintageGreen. Not too many people read this I guess, but I'll give an update anyway.

This summer went by way too fast. As it always does, right? Last May, Ani and I concocted what is now our official clothing business and spare time occupation. For the last several months, we have been to 3 shows and made over $100 each setting. That is amazing and has given us hope to continue through with this journey. This fall/winter we hope to be achieving much more success.
One day TVG will be our real jobs, until then I continue to reside at Suncoast Video and Hot Topic. I started at HT in June or July I believe and have been there since. The pay sucks, and so do a lot of our customers, but it's what I have to do to pay the bills.
Honestly, besides TVG, I have accomplished nothing. I'm somewhat sad about this, but I'm sure I will get over it.

On the otherhand, I have made some tremendous new friends and lost some old ones. The newbies know who you are (and since some of you don't have xanga's) I will not name names. I have lost one really great friend. He was the best at that. He left me without a word and now resides an hour and a half away. Without him, I feel so alone. So dead. He pretty much meant everything to me, and because of his disappearance I'm afraid he will never know that. If he did, one would like to think he wasn't so selfish as to leave his best friend behind without so much as a goodbye. Who knows . . . so long sweet summer.

Now fall is peeking around the corner. I am excited because it means Halloween, colorful leaves, and an all new wardrobe. I am however not so thrilled about my school semester. I'm never happy about school, but what's new. It will be over soon, and after that is the truly frightening thought. We'll see what the future holds. In the meantime, expect to see more entries. I expect you to comment. Ha.

 * New layout, take a look, and talk to me. *