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| It
has been a while since I posted an entry here, maybe the actual diaries
I kept replaced the value of xanga. Nevertheless, I still missed the
feeling when it toke me more than 20 mins to write something that no
one ever cared.
Things have changed since the second year of
school started. Well, I guess you could look at it in two different
prospectives. Of course, I always tried to look at the bright side and
apparently it did not turn out the way I wanted.
Maybe I was an
idealist or maybe I wanted too much. But really, how much was too much?
I really did not consider my demand was that great from academics and
love from people I had faith in. Yes, "had" faith in, past tense. Maybe
I did not deserve much since many considered I did not give much, but I
could swear to god that I tried the best I could. I was lost in a while
and still searching for the equilibrium, the point where I could
balance my love ones and school in the best possible way.
****
Everything
has an expiration date. Food expires. Love expires the point when you
stop giving. Life expires and one shall die. It is inevitable. I guess
friendship somehow can relate to this because it comes to an end as
both side stop loving and caring. If a friendship is strong enough to
encounter obstacles, it means the expiration is longer than others that
cannot be challenged.
I know it is depressing, but it is true.
Nothing can be an eternity. Well, I guess diamond does as it
is advertisted. Now I have said enough and should probably get back to the
paper I am up for. This is when the reality comes
in. I wish I am still in my dream, the imaginary world I used to be
in or at least I used to precevie I am in. Nothing comes easily, but some
seem easier comparing to others you trying to achieve. Giving up
is not an good idea, but it seems like I will have to. My life is not
as smooth as some think, but I am fortunate enough to be at this point
thanks to my parents and God. I feel so greatful. I should not be
complaining the one thing I lost and begging for a better life, but should appreciate what I have instead. Everthing happens for a reason and I consider
myself that I fully comprehand the situation and outcome.
Seriously,
back to reality. Goodbye to the past and I shall leave all behind.
Memories are no good. They will only make you cry and drag you behind. |
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| | Posted 4/17/2007 6:49 AM
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