[btw, if you didn't notice, yesterday's title never actually ends]

today as i interviewed a woman at a desk up front i realized that my chair was a little high for the desk. someone else had been using that desk earlier in the day and must have liked to be sitting up really tall. however, i felt that i was looking down across the desk at the woman, so i continued to talk to her but began to feel around for the lever that lowers the chair. after sliding my hands up under the bottom of my chair on both sides i finally hit the protruding black answer to my search. i grasped it, and lightly pulled. *whoooooosh*
my chair instantly dropped six inches out from underneath me. the woman who i had been looking down upon now tilted her chin down to find the person she'd been looking at just seconds before. the completely shocked expression on her face matched that of my own. and, not really knowing what else to do, i began to laugh. hard. thankfully, the woman joined in laughing with me. we collected ourselves [and i raised my chair back up... what was i thinking? it had been at a great height!], and continued the interview right where we left off.

the moment i was told "this is your desk" i knew i wouldn't like it for several reasons.
a] it is a separate desk, not in a row with anyone else. to have a decent convo [where i can see the other person] i have to raise my eye level about 4 inches.
b] there are no real walls, only half walls. everyone who walks by or has a desk near me can hear and see every word i say and every move i make.
c] my back is to practically the entire office. anyone can walk up behind me and stand there and i would never know it if they didn't make a sound.

i'm not saying that i do anything at my desk that shouldn't be seen by others. i'm just saying that i have absolutely no privacy. the fact that i check my email on breaks, and eat turkey lunchmeat for lunch and a banana for a snack is open information for the office. thankfully, my first embarrassing moment at my desk didn't happen until this last week.

it was thursday [the day before the 4th, the day before my day off] and i did not feel good. i'd had a sore throat since tuesday, and things were going from bad to worse. i was trying to stick it out until the end of the day, especially since i didn't have a ride home until dad was done with work. it was getting to the point that i just wanted to sit down and have a good cry. so i called dad to see if we could leave a little early. i was hunkered down over my phone and whispering into the earpeice so the rest of the office hopefully wouldn't hear my every word. and me, being the girl that i am, did begin to cry just a little. i hung up and turned to blow my nose when my boss and my supervisor walked up behind me, discussing something pertaining to the file cabinets against the wall behind me. here i am, crying and wiping snot from my nose at my desk. i didn't really want them to see me... as i am a full time employee and supposed to be grown-up this summer. i decided to make a break for the mail room because from there i could make it to the bathroom with a very small likelihood of being seen. as i turned to get up from my chair however, my boss and superviser took a step forward and i ran into them quite literally. "are you okay?" they asked. and of course my tears started coming harder at that question. "i think you need to go home," they told me. "you have sick leave."

me, the wimpering sickie that i was replied in this grown up fashion: "okay, i think i'll call my mom."

so much for being all grown up.

my heart is full. i'm going back to mexico.

i'm going to burn in the heat. i'm going to come back with blisters on my hands. i'm going be so sore that i won't know what to do with myself. and i can't wait.

my spanish is bad. i'm out of practice. i'm not going to be able to understand anyone. i'm so excited.

my heart is going to break when we leave to come back to the states. i'm going to feel like i'm being torn in two. yet, i get to be there for a few short days. i can hardly believe it.

i'm going with a local church, and officially we're going with the casas por cristo organization. there are 49 going; two teams of 16 and one team of 17. i believe the goal is to build three houses while we're there. we leave tomorrow night, and we get back early in the morning next saturday.

please pray for us! God is good, and i didn't even need to raise money for this trip. but i covet your prayers!
     - for our safety on the trip down and back [12 hours each way in a bus at night]
     - for our safety while there. there's a lot of fighting between the police and the drug lords. we're not going to any markets [traditional mission trip last day] to stay away from it all.
     - that we would be a witness for Christ while we are there with our attitudes and actions.
     - that we would accomplish what we are setting out to do.
     - that we would be smart and not have any unnecessary emergencies [such as someone becoming dehydrated because they chose not to drink enough water]
     - for mom, colin and cade as they leave at 7 in the morning to go to missouri for a week also doing construction projects with world changers.
     - for dad and colby as they're here without all of us.

thank you! i'll see you when i get back!